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What would you think about allowing a five-year-old girl to play alone in her room for a couple of hours at a time, if she was generally very good at keeping herself occupied, and the mother was near enough to hear her if she yelled?
This is a hypothetical question (it has to do with a story I'm writing) so don't worry about passing judgments - it doesn't involve any real people. I'm honestly not sure if this is generally considered to be perfectly fine or absolutely terrible.
And also, do five-year-olds still take naps?
Posts: 196 | Registered: Jul 2002
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I played with my little brother a lot when I was that age, but I don't know that even a child who is "good at keeping herself occupied" could be alone for "a couple of hours" without her mom at least checking in. More realistic is for her mom to settle her, make sure she's doing something safe and she can hear her, and check every half hour or so (or sooner if she hears no noise at all, or ominous ones). The kid would probably run up periodically and do a "mommy mommy look at this" type thing, too.
Some 5 year olds take naps, some don't; the ones who don't usually still do need an enforced "down time" where they are told to lay down and rest, with a book or music if necessary.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I wouldn't know how acceptable or proper it is outside of my own home, but I would play alone in my bedroom for more than a couple hours at a time when I was young. I'd do it the whole day if I could because I preferred playing alone to playing with kids from the neighborhood. My mom would check up on me every so often and sometimes suggest I take a break. So to me, it's normal behavior.
Posts: 378 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Well, Operaetta is 6, and I'd say she just started within the last year occupying herself for long periods of time. So I'd guess at 5 you're probably lucky to get an hour, tops. As for naps, that's different for every child. My son stopped taking them at 3, and my daughter at 4.
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My daughter is six. She regularly entertains herself for a couple hours at a time when she is home during the day and did so when she was 5 as well. She occasionally comes out to ask or show us something but not terribly often.
Posts: 1336 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Thanks so much for all the responses, everyone.
Solo - about how often do you check up on your daughter when she's playing by herself? Or do you not bother, knowing that if anything happens, she'll come to you, or you'll hear her?
Posts: 196 | Registered: Jul 2002
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My daughter took naps through kindergarten. Not so lucky with the boy. Sometimes the kids will play on their own for a long time, but they have to be free to come check on me, which I think they do every 30 minutes or so.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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My five-no-SIX year old will sometimes occupy herself that long, usually if she has come into new Ponies . But I will check on her every 1/2 hour or so, because if she were quiet in her room for hours, it would probably mean she had found a marker and was working on her budding career as a mural artist.
Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
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My almost five year old twins play together in one of their rooms for a as long as 2 hours, maybe. Certainly not every day. But then, that doesn't answer your question because they have each other to keep themselves occupied.
I do not let them go that long without checking on them though - I mean, I'll walk up there every now and then and make sure their version of entertainment doesn't involve shoving forks in to electrical sockets or something. A five year old still lacks the judgment to completely avoid harmful behaviors - moms still need to be on top of them pretty well.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Our (almost) 4-year-old plays on her own for as long as her attention span will last. Our 2-year-old plays on his own fairly well now as well, but with him you do have to keep watch constantly.
We keep our bedroom door and the bathroom door closed, and then all that's left is the living room, kitchen, and kid's room full of toys. Kid's room is safe zone. They can make messes and they have to be really creative to get hurt. If one of us is stationed in the kid's room and one in the living room, it's pretty low-maintenance for a while.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I was probably about five when I started reading for long periods of time (a couple of hours). Can't remember exactly, but we moved house when I was six and I definitely remember reading for hours before that.
Posts: 1550 | Registered: Jun 1999
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When my son was 5, he could play by himself for a while in his room. I didn't need to check on him because he talked non-stop while he was playing. Not loud, just there. When it got quiet, I'd check on him.
He quit napping around 5.
My daughter (2-1/2) is trying to eliminate napping, but without much success. We insist on it because she's such a PITA without one. And she can't and doesn't play by herself much. She's the extrovert...my son is an introvert all the way.
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