posted
Wow, this seems like a nice turn of events! I'm glad things are starting to work for you, Choobak. Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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YOu know, i'm a little crazy with all that. And when i read you, i'm getting foot on earth for an appreciate time. I keep this very little book on my left pocket, near my heart. She doesn't write me as i would like, but i know i am read. I want to be on saturday...
I prepare an irish party, because of my love of Guinness, and the proximity of the St Patrick's day. Someone have little gastronomic advice for me ?
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Get some good Irish whiskey, preferably Bushmills , for Irish coffee, or straight up=neat=no ice. Use fresh whipped cream for the Irish coffee.
This thread is tres charmant, Choobak, I've enjoyed it very much--there's nothing like new love. Morbo Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
About whiskey, i have for pure degustation a very very good "Connemara Cask Strength". Simply one of the best i tasted. For Irish, i'll use a Jack Daniels.
About alcohol, i am not a big drinker (I have a good capacity, but i dislike to be in coma...). In addition to that, i don't have memory lapse and stay lucid all time (and i remember a night...It's not the topic ). That why i don't drink when i'm sad.
I rarely drink. But i think following your advice will be very simple : i have all things to discuss...
read you later !
*edit* I like bushmills too (10 years and more). So i prefer drink a little glass of very good whiskey 10 days per year than a bad bottle each day.
posted
Just few hours... My love will come an hour before the start because she must go out at 8 PM- 8:30 PM to help a depressive friend... I am not sad, because we'll be together in my home for an hour. I'll tell you what will happen. Promis. I must continue to prepare my party. See you later ! Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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I didn't see a very big message to incite me to open my heart. Explanation :
She came one hour before the other. And she offered me for my home opening a CD of a new french song writer : Aldebert. I took it in my iBook for listning. She said to take the song 3. It is named "Carpe Diem". But you must know one thing about me : i don't quickly take sences of speech. I have to read it. And to do not help me, when something is sing, i firstly heard music, and after a second (or a third) time, i understand text...
So this sing speack about somebody who meet a beautiful girl, and get is courage to begin a relation. And me who was in a confused time and don't understand that !!! After she went out, I read the text... And i immediatelly sent her a SMS to offer a rendez-vous tomorow on the Pond Neuf. I added i want to say her what my courageless didn't let me said this evening.
She sent me a SMS to said, she can't go to Paris tomorow because her parents will be back from travel. But she added she'll write an E-mail tomorow afternoon.
I have no doubt now. But i want to write to her before. No, i have the biggest difficulty to go to sleep. I'll try to read her favorite Victor Hugo's book : "Les travailleurs de la mer".
My heart is in flame, and i don't want her heart will become cold.
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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So right. Pffff ! Love is the only thing who can break my scientific mind. It make me write many poems ! Totally crazy...
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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Trevor is right, any girl that would give you a song called "Carpe Diem" ["seize the day"]--about "somebody who meet a beautiful girl, and get is courage to begin a relation"--no, her heart won't chill soon.
Carpe la femme! Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I try to translate her last E-mail. (It's a little hard for me...)
Dear Sylvain, I thought as it has been some time as we must speak together... I thus allow ourselves to answer your mall. I would not like that you mistake on my behavior towards you. I appreciate really our daily exchanges, your humour, your sensitivity. Complicity that we have just discovered is really for me friendship, a sincere and major friendship which I hope to be able to preserve like such. I hope to still be able to share with you your readings, your reflexions, your impressions on Aldebert and full with other things which make that the life is enthralling and is worth the sorrow to be lived. Thank you in any case for your sincerity which touches me much. At Thursday I hope. Dorothée.
I cannot translate so i used the google translator. I cannot comment more. Sorry to be sad.
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
A love is falling, but a deep friendship is born. And now i can fall in love a new time, with, i hope best results. But i think i must let a little time for that...
Thank you all hatrackers who followed my story, Thank you to help me when i was in a bad time, when i was in doubt. Thank you to be here !
Now, show must go on. And if i still am a little sad, i am regaining my strength for a new start, 'cause she continue to speak with me, and may be a good friend. I must go to sleep now. I hope having sweet dreams. Good night !
posted
Aww! I'm sorry things weren't as they seemed, Choobak. But as you say, now you have other opportunities - for a good friendship with this girl, and a new love in future. I'm glad you're able to think positively already.
Good luck, and be well.
Posts: 1431 | Registered: Aug 2003
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As the cynic I am, I'll give you another advice: have the guts to stop contacting her altogether. As you say, you want to be positive about it, but it won't work. It will just gnaw you inside, seeing how good friends you can be with her, but knowing nothing more can come out of it. I think she totally screwed up with her signals there, but don't let that make you insecure in the future. The fact that she doesn't know how to show exactly what she wants is totally her problem and not yours. STAY. AWAY. FROM. HER.
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I don't know your problem well enough to say this, Choobak. Sometimes that's best, other times it works out to be friends--you decide.
Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I have 4 out of 4 experiences that didn't work. Maybe that's just me though...
I don't remember the exact quote, but it was something like this: "Friendship may end in love, but love in friendship - unlikely."
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One day before... She answered me. I try to be cool, but i stay honest with her. She knows that and i think she understands because she continues to write. But i know i have no chance but i irresistibly continue to have a hope, a destructive hope for my mind and my heart. No Corwin , i know you use every arguments to help my poor soul to get out of this way. I cannot shoot you, because you tried to help me. One of my best friends, a girl, said me, i am too fightless, and i must continue again and again. She said that many couples don't exist if someone didn't insist.
I don't know what do you think about that, but i can't fight. I don't believe such a situation works.
I am so bad, now !!! And i continue to write poems again and again. I love that, and i don't want to lose my only reader...
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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This is what I'm talking about. Won't do you any good.
Look, you know I told you I was in love too? Long story short, she said yes, then told me she apparently can't feel the same. I decided to play it cool and go on being friends. Didn't work. So now I've erased all her emails, her addresses, her phone number, her pictures, and asked her to contact me as little as possible. First time I do something like this, but I'm decided to cut this off from the start. Is it easy?! Hell no! She's my best friend. But that's exactly why I can't go on like this.
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posted
You know Choobak, I have a big theory about love (and I'll write it in French because it will be easier for the two of us). Je pense que l'amour ne se décide pas. L'étincelle, la flamme, appelle ça comme tu voudras, qui s'allume dans deux coeurs arrive comme ça. On peut penser que c'est le hasard, le destin, ou Dieu, ça n'a pas d'importance. Ce qui compte c'est qu'on ne peut pas le créer soi-même. Mais cette étincelle, il va falloir l'entretenir, et c'est pour ça qu'aucune histoire d'amour ne peut durer sans la volonté des deux participants. Croire au Prince Charmant est illusoire si c'est croire qu'une fois qu'on est amoureux, c'est fini, plus besoin de faire un effort quelconque pour rester un couple heureux. L'amour a besoin des deux pour durer, de l'étincelle de départ et de toute l'énergie que le couple y ajoute après. Si elle ne ressent pas ce que tu ressens, ou si elle n'a pas envie de se laisser aller à ce sentiment, alors tu ne peux pas l'y forcer - tu risques plutôt de briser toute relation qui pourrait subsister entre vous, et qui pourrait, qui sait, se tranformer avec le temps. Maintenir une relation d'amitié avec quelqu'un que tu aimes doit être très difficile - mais tu ne peux pas la forcer à vouloir plus. C'est à toi de voir si tu veux compter sur la possibilité qu'elle change d'avis, ou si tu veux aller de l'avant et laisser d'autres occasions frapper à ta porte. L'amour arrive souvent dans les situations ou tu y crois le moins - en tout cas ça a été le cas pour moi, et pour pas mal de gens que je connais.
[ March 21, 2005, 09:18 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Merci Anna, ton message me fait du bien. And i think like that. Waters must flow under the bridge to let me get up. It's hard because, when i realise something, it is with great enthusiasm. THe most terrible thing, is for all material things, i am a very lucky man, but in love... I would like to balance this luck... I am little hopeless. You said i may have a new love, I hope, but actually my solitude make me mad.
*Edit* Why wonderful ? Sorry, i don't understand...
posted
Choobak, quand j'ai rencontré Vincent, mon mari, je venais de me prendre un des plus beaux rateaux de ma vie et ma mère venait de mourir. Je m'étais dit "bon, laisse tomber, concentre-toi sur tes études et arrête de t'intéresser aux hommes". Et puis j'ai rencontré Vincent, et il s'est tout de suite passé quelque chose de très fort entre nous, peut-être aussi justement parce que ni l'un ni l'autre n'était en train de chercher le grand amour. Ca fait bientot quatre ans, et à chaque fois que je crois que je ne peux pas l'aimer plus, mon coeur me prouve le contraire. L'amour, c'est beaucoup de peine pour le trouver, beaucoup de boulot pour le garder, mais ça en vaut la peine. P.S : Corwin, ça va ? Tu m'as l'air bien sombre aujourd'hui...
[ March 21, 2005, 08:57 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
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posted
As has already been stated in another thread lately -- I do believe you can love your best friend and keep it at the best friend level -- with enough maturity and understanding, and a willingness to accept that you are just best friends, and not romance.
Unfortunately, this appears to be very difficult for many people.
posted
Je suis désolée, Corwin. Quelle poisse ! Je ne sais pas vraiment quoi te dire, sauf de ne pas te décourager parce que tu es quelqu'un de bien et tu vas trouver la personne qu'il te faut un jour, j'en suis sûre. Celà dit, ta réaction me semble très saine. Au moins comme ça tu es sûr de ne pas laisser ton coeur moisir dans cette histoire alors que d'autres t'attendent...
[ March 21, 2005, 09:15 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
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Sorry Corwin, i cry with lot of noise and i don't see you are not in good feeling too. I am too egoist. Excuse-me and all this so ridiculous posts i do. But we discover another common point, friend ! ;-) No, sorry, i try to joke but what i make is not very laughly. (i know, this word does not exist, but this is mine, and i like it)
Anna your story sounds pretty well. Can you tell me more to help me to rehope ? I know it's personnal question, and i don't want to question you more if you don't want. Mais pour retrouver un peu d'espoir on s'accrocherai à n'importe quoi...
*Edit* Right Anna, Corwin is strong, and a good guy. I cross my fingers for you, Corwin.
posted
Il n'y a pas grand chose à dire. Ma mère est morte d'un cancer du poumon, et j'ai rencontré quelqu'un pendant qu'elle était en train de mourir. Un type qui jouait au grand frère, si tu veux, mais j'avais tellement besoin de soutien à ce moment-là que je crois que je me serais accrochée à n'importe qui pourvu qu'il m'offre un peu d'intérêt. Et puis il avait l'air intéressé, tu sais, des petits gestes, me frôler la cuisse, se tenir un peu plus près que ncessaire quand il me faisait la bise... Bref. Un peu après la mort de maman, je me suis déclarée, comme une idiote. Et c'est là que le rateau évoqué est arrivé. Sur le coup ça a fait très mal, mais aujourd'hui je pense que ça a été une bénédiction, parce que ce type n'était pas pour moi, on se serait fait beaucoup de mal tous les deux. Facile à dire avec le recul, tu me diras. Bref, j'avais le coeur en miettes, et j'avais décidé de ne plus m'intéresser de près à quelqu'un avant la fin de mes études (deux ou trois ans plus tard). Je pensais que ça me ferait du bien, une pause, et puis je voyais bien que je n'étais pas en état de prendre de bonnes décisions. Et là, j'ai rencontré Vincent. Il s'est inscrit dans la chorale de jeunes où je chantais. Il venait d'arriver à Lille, il ne connaissait personne, il avait déjà chanté à l'INSA donc il a cherché une chorale. Et coup de bol, ça a été la mienne. On a commencé à sympathiser très vite, et honnètement je ne le cherchais pas comme amour, juste comme ami. On parlait beaucoup, on s'échangeait des livres, on allait au cinéma... On avait (et on a toujours !) beaucoup de différences, mais c'est aussi ce qui enrichit une relation. Petit à petit, on est devenus très proches, et c'est vite devenu très clair pour moi que c'était lui l'homme pour qui j'étais faite, et je crois que ça s'est plus ou moins passé de la même façon pour Vincent. Mais je crois aussi que notre relation a évolué comme ça parce qu'on ne s'est pas mis la pression. Tout s'est fait naturellement. Comme je te le disais ça nous fait bientôt quatre ans de vie commune, et on est toujours aussi fous l'un de l'autre. Ca demande pas mal d'entretien, de ne jamais laisser subsister un malentendu, de ne jamais prendre l'autre pour acquis. Mais ça en vaut la peine.
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posted
Merci, Anna. Crois-moi, ça fait du bien de ce dire que rien n'est jamais perdu. Sorry, I said to Anna, his story help me to be less and less sad. I am going to the up of the wave. I know, i risk to get in the down and new in the up. But, i can work better. Just a little last question Anna : Tu as mis longtemps à t'en remettre de cette veste, ou l'as-tu vite oublier ?
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Je l'ai vite oubliée. Mais chaque histoire est différente... EDIT : Je ne pense jamais à le proposer parce que je ne veux pas que qui que ce soit se sente forcé de le faire, mais si tu as envie de parler à quelqu'un (et Corwin aussi, bien sûr) mon adresse mail est dans mon profil.
[ March 21, 2005, 10:35 AM: Message edited by: Anna ]
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posted
I am re-finding the smile. Thanks. I know i cannot forget her, because she is a friend, and i don't want break a thing like that, while, there was no war. But i am quickly relativising with our posts.
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