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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Pun Smackdown XXIX: The diet of (tape) Wurms

   
Author Topic: Pun Smackdown XXIX: The diet of (tape) Wurms
Bob_Scopatz
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In which we are reduced to weighting. It reminds of my trip to England, where I shed a few pounds. Or the the month in which I ate only Brazil nuts, until my supplier at the assylum in Rio got caught. Narrow escape, that one! Atkins hear the puns now!

[ March 19, 2005, 07:06 PM: Message edited by: Bob_Scopatz ]

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Mormo
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When I was with my ex we kept living beyond our seams. At dinner I asked, I have the body of a god, so what if it's Buddha? She was making hot dogs so I asked her to make me one with everything.

Finally I mustard up my courage and told her I was thick and tired of playing ketchup with the bills every month, that I just didn't make enough bread. I didn't relish what she said next. Usually we had a low-barb policy, but that night we really let the fur fly.

She just sighed and said,"I need someone to bring home the bacon. I'll take my next boyfriend like I take my coffee--rich. Are you jello-us?"

I told her I take my women like I take my coffee--cold and bitter.

This made her boil, so she asked if that was the wurst thing I could say.

I said there was 2 chances of that, my Flour, fat or slim.

I told her her sister was priti, kan diet make that much difference?

"If your going to make jokes at kins' diets, I'm splitting."

I said,"Grate minds think alike, honey."

Then I put on "A tear in my beer" followed by "The weigh we were."

Morbo [Smile]

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Eaquae Legit
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Morbo wins. I can't stomach any more puns.
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Shan
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Ghastly!

*speechless*

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Mormo
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Eaquae, you really think I'm the weiner? That's sweet and lo-gical, but be fare, wait for Bob's counter-strike--it'll be zesty, a peach, I'm sure, he hasn't started really cooking yet. And lettuce all prey Trevor feels better, when he weighs in you might rehash your decision, if he's fruitful--and he's usually game.

But thanks.
Morbo [Big Grin]

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Elizabeth
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Hey, Weight! Watcher mouth, Shan!
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punwit
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I've heard that metal as a staple in your diet can shed pounds in a hurry.
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Bob_Scopatz
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[ROFL]

These truly are the salad days of Hatrack. It's also time for the swallows to return to Capistrano, but that's neither here, nor there. Well, actually, it's there, not here.

where was I?

Oh yeah, diets and exercise. And, with a protein effort, I get back on track. No sweat! A few shakes though.

I've decided that someone needs to keep Tabs on all you people. It's time for a little belt tightening. Take you all down a size or two!

No more tasteless puns!

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Elizabeth
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My friend Dale has always tried to lose weight, but has failed miserably. His family always teased him. Kids at school made fun of him as well. But even with all these emotional scars, Dale diets.
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Elizabeth
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This thread is not moving very fast, Bob. Do you think you should purge it? Although some people might yell: "Boo, Leemealone!"
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punwit
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It's common knowledge that the most efficient way to lose weight combines a sensible diet with xrsize. I must be doing well cause I'm moving from xrsize to xxrsize.
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kaioshin00
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Your guys' puns are off the scale.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Elizabeth, I see a slim chance for this thread.
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Bob_Scopatz
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My nutritionist was very strongly in favor of fresh fruits and using eggs and flour sparingly. In fact, she was sort of a crepe crusader.
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Elizabeth
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My friends who live in Alabama say that women there get extremely moody around the time of their menstrual cycle. One of my friends is a doctor, and she developed a nutrition plan she calls the South's Bi*** Diet.

[ March 19, 2005, 07:35 PM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]

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Mormo
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Women from Georgia are clamoring for a South's Peach Diet.
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Dagonee
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The man traded his gyro meat for some tropical fruit, a horrible example of robbing pita to pay papaw.
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Elizabeth
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The dyslexic fellow wondered what all the fuss about the Atkins Diet was. He hated crabs, and never ate them anyway.
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punwit
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Was he allergic? Perhaps they caused itching in his nether regions.
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