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Author Topic: Sleeptalking
Stray
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Someone just started up a new Livejournal community for stories about talking in one's sleep, and I thought it might be fun to share our stories here as well. I'll start off with one of mine:

According to my husband I say all sorts of crazy things in my sleep. Apparently I go somewhere very surreal during those hours, though I can never remember anything when I wake up. My very favorite story occurred a couple of years ago, when I was a computer science undergraduate. I'd been asleep for a few hours, and my husband was up playing on the computer, when I suddenly sat up in bed and asked him "What's the class structure for banana pudding?"

Now, I ask him a lot of questions in my sleep, but they're usually yes-or-no ones, or at least it's obvious what I want him to say. E.g., when I asked "What color should the dog's tail be?" he just answered "brown," and when I said "Did you remember to take the dessert to the bank?" he said "yes," and I said "Good, cause Matthew [our roommate] forgot" and then I'd lay back down and be quiet again. Easy enough to pacify me in those cases, but he knows nothing whatsoever about programming and thus had no idea how to even make up some plausible-sounding answer to that question. I think he just said "Uh, you should probably ask Joe [a code-monkey friend of mine] about that," and I said okay and lay back down, but then a couple minutes later I popped up again and asked "Are vanilla wafers valid integers?"

All I can think is that I was dreaming about programming the food replicator on Star Trek.

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T_Smith
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Oh don't even get Jamie started on the things I say when half asleep.

"Jamie, what am I doing?"
"Nothing, go back to bed."
"Ok" ::BAM:: hit the bet with my face

I've also talked in tongues to jamie before.

I once said to my mother. "Kindergarten! I've got to call the kindergarten!!"

"Nathan what are you talking about?"

"SHUT UP AND CALL THE KINDERGARTEN!!"

"Nathan, you can't call the kindergarten."

"GET ME THE YELLOW PAGES!"

The most amusing ones, however, tend to come from my family members.

My brother swears on his life that my sister came into his room and recited the Paul Revere poem to him, then threw a stuffed camel at him. My sister doesn't remember this, and got really upset when he "stole" the stuffed camel.

My father has told stories of my mother in these sort of situations. Apparently, she has the talking in tongue bit, too.

One night, she kicked him out of bed, and said "AND STAY OUT!" My father was a bit confused, and my mother doesn't remember any of it.

She has also claimed to my father that she was being operated on by a witch doctor, apparently using some kind of accupuncture.

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ketchupqueen
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One night when I was about 11, I sat straight up in bed and started screaming. My mother and older sister came running in, and asked what was wrong. "Dracula! Eating two pieces of whole-wheat toast!" They smothered their laughter and calmed me, and my sister asked if I wanted to cuddle the kitty. I did, and with her in my arms went right back to sleep. I remembered nothing of it the following morning.
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T_Smith
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Thats pretty funny.
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Teshi
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I don't sleeptalk (or walk, or move for that matter) but my sister sometimes mumbles. However, her speech is never very funny, usually accompanied by tears:

"No, Mummy, No! I don't want to! No!"

It's actually rather frightening. I don't want to know what she's dreaming. [Frown]

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Bokonon
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One time, in middle or high school, my mom came in to wake me up for school. I pushed her away and exclaimed with disdain, "Mom, I'm trying to kick a field goal!"

Another time, I blurted out in the middle of the night, "I love you, my little cucumber." We're still trying to figure that one out.

Karen (my fiancee) says I usually speak, but only when under stress, once every few months or so. Since I rarely remember my dreams, I get as much fun out of what I said as everyone else.

-Bok

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scottneb
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My wife talks in her sleep all the time. There was once, when we were first married that she sat up in the middle of the night and yelled, "Scott! Did we let the dogs out!!!" Keep in mind this was when we were first married and we lived in a place WAY to small for a dog, let alone DOGS!
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Beanny
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[ROFL]

All of these stories remind me, that we used to play a game in the scouts called "The submarine key".
It goes like this: obnoxious kids wait until it's very late, and most of the others are already asleep, or half-asleep. Then they ask the sleepy kids the question: "Where is the key for the submarine?"

I think that I was one of the first victims of the game, and everyone told me that I said "it's in the bread", which makes no sense at all. Other answers were quite amusing, though. One girl cried out: "Oh no, I've lost it in the showers!". Another kid grunted, and said "it's in the middle pocket of my backpack. Don't forget to put it back when you're done."

[Evil]

(Edited for a typo)

[ April 13, 2005, 02:33 PM: Message edited by: Beanny ]

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MaydayDesiax
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Adriann, my old roommate, used to actually, like, open her eyes and look STRAIGHT at you when she talked in her sleep. One time, she rolled over to look at me (and she was in the top of a bunk bed at the time) and went "I'm GREEN!" in this really high-pitched voice. And I KNOW her eyes were open because the light from my laptop screen was reflected in them.

Another time, she had a RvB dream:
A: "Ryan (her boyfriend), there's a flag over there."
M: "Wha?"
A: "Ryan, there's a flag over--Dammit, Ryan, there's a stupid flag! *huff*"
M: "Go back to bed."

And yet another time she had an EQ dream:
A: "We can bring her back!"
M: "Really?"
A: "Yes, we can bring her back to life."
M: "And how would you do that?"
A: "With a spell!"
M: "Oh? I thought you would at least need blood or something..."
A: *mumbles and rolls over*

Of course, I have:

1.) Answered and argued with Bernard over the phone in my sleep (I answered it and protested that it was NOT midnight, thank you very much, it was noon *click*).
2.) Asked my aunt if she knew when Jesus Christ was born (I think I was talking to Pinochio in my dream... I was about seven).
3.) Also sat up and asked Adriann and Ryan if they were getting married since they had won their game (they were actually studying for chemistry at the time, although in my dream they were playing an online RPG)... Then I argued with her over if I was asleep or not. She won.

Also, an old friend from high school had an uncle who only talked in his sleep after drinking. One example was when he was sleeping on the couch, sat up and went:
"The cows."
"What?"
"The cows, man, the cows."
"What... about the cows?"
"They steal your hats, man. Evil cows."
Turns out he had gone cow-tipping a month before and lost his hat in the process.

[ April 13, 2005, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: MaydayDesiax ]

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katharina
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I've never talked in my sleep, although I once went to bed with a head full of curlers. When I awoke, the curlers were in the corners of my bedroom; I had taken them out in my sleep and thrown them as far as I could.
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Ryuko
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Ha ha. That's awesome, kat.

My roommate used to talk in her sleep when she was really stressed out. Nothing too hilarious, though, mostly stuff about deadlines and terrified noises.

Apparently I've been known to do it, but nothing terribly interesting that I can recall.

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Eaquae Legit
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I don't know that I've ever talked in my sleep, but I know once I fell asleep in class and kept writing notes. When I finally woke up, I looked down to see I'd written something like "Boy castle CBHG" on my page. The letters were perfectly formed.

My roommate, though, does talk in her sleep, eyes open and all. I usually just ignore her, but once she insisted she was counting. I tried to get her to tell me what she was counting, but she refused.

My other friend also talks in her sleep, and she frequently dreams herself into movies. One time she dreamed herself into the Chamber of Secrets movie, and started yelling about the monster that was in there. The funny part was, she'd never even read the book, and had no idea that there WAS a monster in the Chamber. She's also shaken me in her sleep, saying "Al, Al, we have to go now, we have to go, Al." But when I tell her to shut up and go back to sleep, she does. Everyone else she argues with.

The best, though, was when my sister was at Brownie camp once. Some girl sat bolt upright and screamed "GET OUT OF MY JELLO TREE!!" to the whole hall of sleeping girls.

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whiskysunrise
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My sister talks in her sleep. She has argueed with me and yelled at me. One thing that I remember her saying is "a big bowl of cereal." She didn't remember in the morning.
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Mr.Gumby
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I story I heard about my brother(dan) from his friend(jared):

they were having a sleepover at Jared's house on the family room floor. danny's back was towards jared. out of nowhere, he turns and almost smacks jared in the face and then says, "form of question"

we still tease him about it

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Jhai
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Most of my sleep talking seems to serve a purpose: get the person I'm talking to to leave the room and let me sleep. [Wink] My brother claims I used to have whole conversations with him before school or dinner (if it was a nap) about my getting up and ready, and what I was planning to do during the day. After I'd convinced him I was truly awake, he'd leave, and I'd continue sleeping.

Never remembered a bit of it.

My boyfriend says I talk sometimes and that he gets some very interesting information out of me. Once I told him to go away and stop chewing me. Upon questioning, it appears that in my world he was a zombie after my brain. [Angst]

This was right after we wached Dawn of the Dead (remake), of course. [Smile]

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Mr.Gumby
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my sister-in-law had to buy her little brother a present for christmas and didn't know what to get him. So she asked him in his sleep and said he wanted a Mr.Potatoe Head. It turned out to be what really he wanted.
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breyerchic04
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While I was in high school bio, I got up (but not totally awake) and walked into the livingroom where my mom was reading to ask how my grandma with very red hair could have a blonde and brown haired full sibling, because that would require the parents to have 5 genes total. She told me magic happened in the twenties and I went back to bed.
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Dagonee
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Sleepstalking
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Aunty Eem
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I not only talk in my sleep I Get ready for work in my sleep! This only happens if I am really stessed out. I get up anywhere fro one to four hours after going to bed and am determined I am late for work [Dont Know]
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Dan_raven
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My brother was the most obnoxious with this. He would call out in the middle of the night. "Dan! Dan!!"

"What" I would answer.

Then he would mumble and go back to sleep.

He never was able to tell me what was so important to wake me up over.

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Uhleeuh
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One night, my little brother started crying and one of my older brothers and I ran into the room to see what was wrong. When I started to nudge him to find out why he was crying, he reached out and starting choking me while screaming, "Leave my ice cream alone!" I didn't think it was funny at the time because I couldn't breathe, but I think it's hilarious now.

Then there's my cousin. One night he had fallen asleep on the couch during a movie but later rolled over to ask those of us who were still awake, "How much does a whale weigh?" We couldn't answer because we were laughing so hard.

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Astaril
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I used to sleepwalk and talk a lot when I was small. I shared a bed with my sister who also talked in her sleep and my parents would come in to tell us to be quiet and go to sleep at night and then realize we *were* asleep. Only we were having a back-and-forth conversation, while asleep. They often said they wished they'd recorded some of them.

Story #2:
One time I walked in my res room in the afternoon and my nocturnal roommate sat up in her bed and screamed "GET OUT!" at me. I was kind of startled but said "Okay. Ummm...I just need to grab my books." "NO!" she screamed, "Get OUT. NOW!! I said get out! I never want to see you again, Gabe! Get out!!!" Since my name isn't Gabe, I started wondering. I walked up to her and noticed she was staring kind of...through me. Turns out she sleeps with her eyes open. Now *that's* freaky. (She often fought with people in her sleep in fact, and also sold knives for a living in real life, which she kept by her bed. Funny, this combination sometimes made me a touch nervous to go to sleep myself...)

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Teshi
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Wow. I'm glad my roomate is as placid as she is now... [Smile] .
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ChaosTheory
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I don't talk much in my sleep.

Although my cousin has the night terrors, the first time I heard him It scared the crap out of me...

My cousin Johnathan: mumble...mumble... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GET AWAY AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH GET AWAY!!!!!!! [Eek!] [Evil Laugh]

This was at like 3:00am too.

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Vadon
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Heh, I never remember my incidences of funny things. But I've been told a few of mine.

My brother and mother told me about this one, I don't remember a thing, not even the dream. I was asleep and my mother came in to talk to my brother. Then I start mumbling things no one understands, then suddenly I started screaming, "NO, DOCTOR! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!!!"

Also, we were being babysat years ago over night. So I was in bed and the couple watching us was watching TV after everyone was in bed. Suddenly I walk downstairs, open a rootbeer, put it on the counter, go back upstairs, and go back to sleep. The couple said they had no idea what I was doing, they laughed at me later...

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ketchupqueen
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Chaos, I get those. I also tend to lash out at whoever is within reach-- my husband is not thrilled when that happens.

When I had Dragostea Din Tei stuck in my head the first time ( [Grumble] Hatrack, always sticking things in my head), I apparently started singing it and "bed-dancing" in my sleep. Then I tried to get my husband to dance with me. When he wouldn't, I got very agitated and insistent. I then got angry and picked up the huge "family edition" hardbound copy of the Book of Mormon that lays by our bed, which weighs about 10 pounds, and began to bash him over the head with it. When he took it away, I tried to knee him in the groin. He restrained me and woke me, and we laughed about it. Warily.

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unicornwhisperer
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I've talked in my sleep a couple times (the people awake never really remember what I say). Once my room mate in college said that I was talking about the election (it was the 2000 one) and she didn't remember what I said, mostly something about being upset if Gore won. [Dont Know]

When I was about 10 I had a dream I was fighting with my brother and I had grabbed his tongue and twisted it and I woke up and I was twisting the pillow. [Embarrassed]

Many times when I had to wear my headgear to bed(age 13) I would take it off in my sleep and drop it on the floor.

I wish I could remember more talking-in-my-sleep moments.
[Sleep]

[ April 13, 2005, 08:01 PM: Message edited by: unicornwhisperer ]

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Astaril
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I remembered another story. When I was maybe 15 or 16, I had a friend overnight. I let her sleep in my bed, and I slept on the floor beside it. The bedframe had tall wooden side panels. In the morning, I awoke to find my friend calling "Wake up! Wake up!" and laughing hysterically, and find myself lying on my stomach, propped up on my elbows, and repeatedly bashing the side of my head into the side of the bedframe. There was a second before I stopped where I realized what I was doing, and that I'd been doing it for a good minute or so. I wish I knew what I was dreaming that morning...
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Zeugma
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Heh, I won an award for sleepwalking as a kid. Persistent somnambulism + summer camp every year = crazy stories.

The oddest was when I woke up perched on a boulder in a field of rocks surrounded by woods, just before dawn. I was barefoot and didn't have my glasses on, so I was blind as a bat and helpless. I had to wait until the sun came up and other campers started wandering around before I could find my way back to my tent.

I've also woken up several times in the bathtub. Complete with all my bedding. Neatly made.

[Sleep]

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beverly
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The one and only time I heard Porter sleep talk, he simply muttered. "Fuzzy lollipops...."
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Carrie
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A former roommate once woke me up around 3:30 in the morning. She'd been thrashing for a while and mumbling, so I rolled over in my bed and tried to go back to sleep. She then sang a pitch-perfect scale and, when finished, started screaming "NO! NO!" for a couple minutes. She then fell back into a sound sleep.

I, on the other hand, had to leave the room before I woke her up, as I was laughing far too hard. She doesn't remember this, but I make sure to remind her often [Smile]

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Coccinelle
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Once on a camping trip I bolted up in the middle of the night, sang "A whole new world" (poorly, I'm sure) and then promptly turned to one of the girls and asked for some fish.
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Telperion the Silver
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I remember one time having a dream about the end of the world...and I woke up for a second to find that I must have been sobbing out loud, had tears all over the place. [Eek!]

Another time I was talking to my friend Neal on the phone... a very strange conversation late a night. Talked to him the next day to find out that he was sleeping! He picked up his cell by his bed and had a half hour "conversation" with me.

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Eaquae Legit
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quote:
The oddest was when I woke up perched on a boulder in a field of rocks surrounded by woods, just before dawn. I was barefoot and didn't have my glasses on, so I was blind as a bat and helpless. I had to wait until the sun came up and other campers started wandering around before I could find my way back to my tent.
[Angst] [Angst] [Angst]

This is going to give me nightmares. The last camp I was at had emergency search procedures that would have had me in my pyjamas frantically searching the deep end of the pond for you. In the dark. All I can say is, I'm glad I wasn't your counsellor.

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Alcon
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Ok, I'll admit it, I only read the first post, but

quote:

All I can think is that I was dreaming about programming the food replicator on Star Trek.

That line had me LITTERALLY in stitches (ouch).

[ROFL] [ROFL] [ROFL] [ROFL]

As to sleep talking I don't have many stories on that subject. Except that my friend Sean mubles a lot in his sleep. I can never quite make out what he's saying, but something it sounds vaguely like some sort of physics debate. Which would make a lot of sense knowing him.

However, sleep WALKING, oh the stories I could tell. I have a friend, Charlie, who sleep walks a ton. He once walked home from a sleep over LAN party, a full two miles along the highway, and never woke up. He awoke the next morning comfortably curled up on his front door step, with aching legs.

[ April 14, 2005, 02:23 AM: Message edited by: Alcon ]

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His Savageness
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My wife's family members have the tendency of puting on clothes when they sleep. What's more, they'll somehow manage to find clothes that have been missing for years and put them on unawares. For example, my wife's sister woke up wearing shorts that she had lost about four years prior. My wife's mother also woke up one time wearing a dress backwards. [Big Grin]
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FIJC
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Every single person I have ever roomed with has commented on how I often talk, laugh, cry, etc., when I sleep. I suppose it's slighly embarrassing, but so far, no one has moved out on me. [Smile]
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Stray
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Another programming-related dream: I don't remember much other than a screenful of code scrolling by too fast for me to read it, and an immense feeling of frustration and despair. Then I woke up because my husband was kissing me, petting my hair, and saying "It's okay. It's okay. Don't worry, it'll be okay." I woke just enough to think "hrngrzfhuh? what? why's he doing that?" and then fall back asleep again. I asked him about it in the morning, and apparently whatever I was trying to do in my dream was so frustrating that I started crying in my sleep.
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Stray
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*bump*

My husband says that when he came to tuck me in night before last, I said "Oh, I'm glad you're here to help me with this, honey. I can't get the elves to go in reverse."

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whiskysunrise
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My sister once told me to turn on the air conditioner. The only problem was we didn't have an air conditioner.
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rivka
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How does one get elves to go in reverse?
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quidscribis
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When Fahim woke me up from my afternoon nap, I asked him if all the strangers were gone yet.

There were no strangers at our house.

Sadly, I sleeptalk frequently. So does Fahim, but he does it in another language that I don't understand. [Frown]

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ketchupqueen
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quote:
How does one get elves to go in reverse?
With a very big stick.

[ April 15, 2005, 01:27 PM: Message edited by: ketchupqueen ]

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amira tharani
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I don't normally talk in my sleep, although Rob assures me that I did once. He, awake, asked me what the correct response to an opening bid of two no-trumps would be, and I told him. I have no recollection of this at all, though he remembers and we managed to establish that my response was 100% accurate!
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