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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » My List of Evil Corporation Planets (Order of Colonization)

   
Author Topic: My List of Evil Corporation Planets (Order of Colonization)
SteveRogers
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I'm listing the businesses that I think will get a planet in the order I think they'll get it. In parenthesis I explain why the business is evil.

1. Wal-Mart (They built a Wal-Mart near an Amish village, with places for the people to tie their carts. They are violating the Amish villages!)
2. McDonalds (Making the world fat)
3. Starbucks (Addicting us to gourmet coffee with their one every five feet distribution)
4. Krispy Kreme (Does the world need another way to use sugar?)
5. Various Tobacco Industries ( I don't think I need to explain.)

So, there you have it. I'd be happy to continue the list with suggestions. I think most major businesses will rule a world. These are just the first five, in my opinion.

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Megachirops
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So if you make a product that people like, and you are successful, your business is evil?
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Corwin
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YEAP, EVIL I TELL YA! [Wink]
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SteveRogers
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6. Microsoft

MC- No, you are evil if you make a product that people like too much. You can be succesful.

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zgator
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1. I think I read that the Amish were pretty happy about it.

2. Nobody's forcing anyone to eat there. Besides, their salads aren't half bad.

3. I don't drink coffee, so I don't care. However, if people didn't want them on every corner, they wouldn't be there.

4. You will burn in heck for all eternity for insulting Krispy Kreme.

5. I'll let you have this one.

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mr_porteiro_head
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Disney
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SteveRogers
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7. Disney

zg- All of them will get a planet whether or not they are evil. So must we argue over technicalities?

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Megachirops
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I'll move to planet Disney.
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Jon Boy
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You would. You're evil enough that you'd fit in perfectly.
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Annie
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Michael Eisner is the Balrog of Planet Disney.
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James Tiberius Kirk
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nooooo! Krispy Kreme rules!

*tosses a tomato or two*

--j_k

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The Reader
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1. Wal-Mart: The Amish regularly shop at "modern" stores. As zgator said, they seemed to be pretty happy about it. However, Wal-Mart probably will have its own planet. Given that it is mostly chinese made goods, it will be the planet Path [Wink] .

2. McDonalds: They will end up with Venus because the atmosphere's high sulfer content makes a natural white-yellow glow, just as the colors of McDonalds signs are now. And the heat will make the fastest food ever.

3. Starbucks: They get Mars. The cold is a good place to sell hot coffee, and Mars is bound to be a big tourist place in the future.

4. Krispy Kreme: We haven't found every possible use for sugar, and I support this company's efforts to discover more so that I can eat their great donuts. They get Earth because they will need the home base.

5. Tobacco: I doubt it. This industry will die before the century is out, at least I am this optimistic.

As for Disney, it will build its own planet using asteroids and captured solar wind, so we have no reason to worry. In fact, it will be helping if it takes Earth-crossing asteroids.

Microsoft can build a planet with the really cool networking abilities and software sophistication as Earth in "The Matrix". Oh, wait, not so cool after all.

News Corp. will build its own planet, with a massive news ticker in the geosyncronous area around the equator that will be connected to the planet by four space elevators. It will have three satellites, each the the size of Earth's moon, but orbiting closer so we can see them clearer, that will function as giant screen TVs. One will broadcast 24 hour news, another will have continuous entertainment, including many innovative shows that are cancelled to soon. The third will air movies all the time. Only one moon at a time can be seen, so inhabitants will always be slightly deprived, and will continue to watch, which will drive up ratings.

Do not underestimate the power of Rupert Murdoch. [Smile]

Disclaimer: I am not Rupert Murdoch, but I would be among the first to be excited about an orbiting television. That's sad.

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Beren One Hand
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Disney - Well, they already got Pluto....

Lockheed Martin - All your military bases belong to us.

Cisco-Avaya - ET phoned home for free. But if you want a data line back to earth, it's gonna cost you.

Amgen-Genetech - Because designer genes are not just a fad, but a necessity in space colonial living.

Jatraqueros - The number six space alliance in Ogames. [Smile]

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SteveRogers
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I'm confident that all of those places will get their own planet, thus polluting the whole universe, killing us all.
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Megan
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Actually, I think I'd move to Planet Disney, too. Of course, I'm speaking as someone whose childhood dream of a honeymoon at a Disney World Resort was realized, so take it with a grain of salt. [Big Grin]
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sarcasticmuppet
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Megan--Lucky!
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Megan
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I know! [Smile] It was sooo much fun. My mom said she knew I'd found the right guy when we were talking about the honeymoon, and he said, "I have about $5000 saved up for it. How bout Disney World for a week?"
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0range7Penguin
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Your already living on planet disney. They have a market share of everything if you follow the money far enough. Did you know ABC or was it AMC one of the two and ESPN are both actually owned by disney along with a great many other tv channels?
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Mrs.M
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I live on the tobacco planet - it's called Virginia.

quote:
This industry will die before the century is out, at least I am this optimistic.
Seriously? Um, I hate to crush your optimism, but it'll be stronger than ever. In fact, the many tobacco companies headquartered in Richmond are thriving - Richmond is experiencing a huge boom.

I want to live on the Martha Stewart planet - she'll definitely have one.

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Megan
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Mrs.M--and it will look disturbingly like something out of the Stepford Wives... [Angst]
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0range7Penguin
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Creepy...*Shiver* [Angst]
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mr_porteiro_head
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quote:
a honeymoon at a Disney World Resort
:shudder:
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Megan
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Hey, we had fun... [Razz]
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Megachirops
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I got married inside the Magic Kingdom. [Cool]
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Dan_raven
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Me and Mrs. Raven also Honeymooned at Disney World.

And we did it for almost nothing.

Because we won our trip from a McDonalds Monopoly contest.

And we had fun too.

Then again, we met while working at Six Flags amusement park, and her father built (designed really) one of the more famous coasters at Bush Gardens.

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Megan
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I love people who love amusement parks. [Smile]
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The Reader
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quote:
Originally posted by Mrs.M: Seriously? Um, I hate to crush your optimism, but it'll be stronger than ever. In fact, the many tobacco companies headquartered in Richmond are thriving - Richmond is experiencing a huge boom.
Damn. 100 years is a long time though. Anything can happen. That's why I gave it a century.

Other companies and industries mentioned here can live or die, and I wouldn't care much, but tobacco is the one that should die a horrible, slow, hacking, oxygen-deprived death.

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romanylass
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quote:
Michael Eisner is the Balrog of Planet Disney.
Oh,the mental image! If I knew how to use Photoshop......

Mmmm. Planet Starbucks. Now that's tempting. But I'd rather live on Planet Ben&Jerry's.

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SteveRogers
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8. Ben & Jerry's (Its the underdog planet!)
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romanylass
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Yes, I can see myslef tripping along an ice cream landscape, stopping only to take bites out of fudge fish and dinosaurs. Gah, I sound like Homer Simpson.
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