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I don't post alot here, but I thought I'd just go ahead and blab my sorrow to the world. My husbund is the only radical liberal christian fundamentalist on the planet. I am not even a Christian - more pagan, I would guess - one of those "We see God in everything" types. Hubby is afraid I'm a witch, and might start sacrificing animals or something. (Really likely, since I am a vegetarian, do volunteer work at the house rabbit society and have 4 cats, a rabbit and two horses and would have more if he would let me. I'm really the type to want to ritually torture and kill animals. not)
Anyway, last night when he was telling me he is leaving, one of the examples he gave to prove my alliance with Satan, is that I read OSC. Because OSC is a Mormon. I don't even agree with OSC's politics or religious values, but he is a hecka good story teller. But according to hubby, that is how Satan works through me. I always thought Mormons were Christians, but I've never been able to figure out the different flavors of Christianity. OSC wasn't the only one on the black list. (Phillip Pullman made it too. Good thing he has never actually READ PP)
Yes, he is delusional. Yes, he is mentally ill, but his world makes sense to him, so he won't get help. In his eyes, God WANTS him to live in fear and pain, and so he does the best he can to create that where ever he goes and find that in everything.
But I am a hippy-dippy, Give thanks for grace every minute of every day, love is everywhere, hippy chick.
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Wow. Some people are really full of crap. Hate to be the one to say it but this has got to be for the best. He sounds literally crazy. Hope no kids are involved.
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I would say Martin Luther King Jr fits a good portion of that list of adjectives...
Well Loki, making your screen name after a Norse God of deciet sure wouldn't help your cause much if he found out .
But me to the "better now than later" group. I would stress to him your desire for him to get help (which I'm sure your have) and then cut your loses.
Posts: 5656 | Registered: Oct 1999
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Whatever label you slap on him, he's still just sad. It seems profoundly sad to me that anyone would abandon such a committment as marriage over that sort of thing, without even taking a stab at some sort of couple's counselling. If what she reads is such a big issue, how'd they come to be together in the first place? I mean... SAD.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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I'm in the camp of "any failed marriage is a sad thing" and this is one reason why I stress to my kids that when you're looking for the "right one" religious compatibility needs to be high on the list.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I always thought so, too. I broke up with or refused to go out with lots of guys who didn't share my religion or were not as serious about as I was. Looking back, it's really weird that I'm so happy to be with my sort of Taoist husband. *I* certainly would never have thought someone like me could marry someone like him and not be possessed of an urge to change him. Much less ever look back on my life and think that giving religion the old heave-ho was one of my better choices. A younger me would be horrified at my current happiness.
But my own experience is a weird case, and I would never suggest that anyone should follow my example. Far from it, actually. I'm a firm believer that no two couples follow exactly the same path to happiness. I think the biggie is that he never tried to change me. I changed, given time and room to make my own mind up, but I don't think he ever expected me to.
Loki, there are lots of us thinking of you and saying prayers for you. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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quote: Anyway, last night when he was telling me he is leaving, one of the examples he gave to prove my alliance with Satan, is that I read OSC. Because OSC is a Mormon. I don't even agree with OSC's politics or religious values, but he is a hecka good story teller. But according to hubby, that is how Satan works through me.
Maybe you can use this to your advantage. You know, "Unless you want me to visit the dark wrath of SATAN upon you, you better give me 75% of everything in the divorce settlement." Then cackle evilly.
Seriously, it sounds like you are well rid of this guy. Glad you're able to divorce now rather than later when you have children.
Posts: 13123 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I'm sorry. You seem extremely cool. Especially volunteering for the House Rabbit Society.
*has a House Rabbit*
I can't understand why he'd have a problem with OSC. He's so devout. Didn't he read OSC's women of the Bible series filled with strong religious values?
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I think the problem is he's the wrong flavor of devout. It boggles the mind, even though it is a common enough problem that people have with stories that do not directly reflect their beliefs.
Or, that someone has told them are bad for one reason or another.
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Loki, I'm sorry about this mess over such a seemingly small thing. I guess it doesn't seem small to him. It is very difficult for me to understand that, though.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Olivetta, what you said is very interesting. Perhaps it is possible for two people to be religiously compatable even if they are of very different religions.
If the way you approach religion is similar enough.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Thank you for your support. I do love him deeply, otherwise I would not have tried to cope with his mental illness. His sister has the same thing, and he can see it in her, but not in himself. I'm pretty sure he won't go through with it, since I'm the one with the job with benefits and retirement. (not to mention money) Although since he is convinced that the Rapture will be upon us any day and that doctors are trying to poison us with pharmaceutical drugs, he may not value that too much. Because he is so far in left field, it is easy for me to not take things he says personally, but it does get to be a struggle in episodes like this.
A few clarifications 1. radical liberal - thinks George Bush is the antichrist, thinks our government orchestrated 911 as an excuse to go to war for oil, etc. etc. 2. Fundamentalist - thinks the bible is literally true and particularly takes to heart the parts where God is mean and angry and jealous. That and Revelations. 3. Christian - Jesus Christ is his personal savior. Therefore, "Radical Liberal Christian Fundamentalist" He was Christian when I married him, and in fact that was one of the reasons I did - having a spiritual life is important to me. I'm pretty open minded about what language one uses to talk to God. Our wedding was about as Pagan as it gets. There wasn't really any fear on my part that our religion or values would conflict. The fear and pain stuff has happened since 911.
Loki - Norse TRICKSTER God, which I don't associate with animosity and deceit. Correlates to "Coyote" in some Native American mythology. Also my Grandmother's maiden name
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I always see it as teaching and challenging instead of tricking and lying. Also, shapeshifting usually plays a part in it... But that's my weird way of looking at it.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Sort of like the genies that give people what they wish for but in unexpected ways.
Or like a twisted version of your standard oracle pronouncement, which comes true but you can't tell how until its happening.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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Ah, I see. You know, sometimes I run little fantasies through my mind of asking a wish from a genie and being careful to be as specific as possible. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I truck people all the time while telling them the truth. I let them in the truck, we talk while I drive 'em somewhere. It's easy. Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Yeah, Mormon's are Christians, yeah your husband is "out there".
Take Storm Saxon's idea of the evil cackle but add to it by buying a large caulron, fill it with "holy water" (at least tell him it is), add some old socks of his, his high school graduation picture and a lock of his hair and start chanting. Posts: 56 | Registered: May 2005
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Wow, sorry to hear that. When I was psychotic I also thought OSC was the anti-Christ. At least one other person I know had a similar experience.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Loki, I'm sorry you're going through this. And I'm sorry that your love for your husband is not reciprocated -- at least it seems like from what you've said that his reasons for staying with you are financial.
Living with mentally ill partners is very trying. The ones that self-medicate or resist treatment (or go off their meds for a variety of reasons) are particularly tough because they don't necessarily see their behavior as aberrant. They feel "normal" that way, so anyone who says otherwise must be wrong...out to get them...etc.
Meanwhile, you don't want to make their lives miserable by insisting that they are the problem, and making them take meds that make them feel odd.
It's just a situation fraught with guilt, shame, and not much opportunity for constructive partnership or growth.
I hope he gets some help and stops resisting it. At least then if he left, you'd know it was because he needed to, and not because he is ill and making bad choices as a result.
If he won't go to counseling willingly, I suppose the only thing you could do is use your financial leverage to get him in treatment. It sounds mean, but you could certainly be within your rights to insist that if he does stay with you that he go to a doctor, get meds, and stay on them. Tell him that the minute he goes off his meds he should plan on moving out. Period.
It's tough, but if he's not going to work to stay healthy then he obviously doesn't care about you or himself (or the relationship) enough to be a partner to you.
And it's not fair to place that burden on you. Despite your vows. The vows are a two-way street and if one partner simply gives up (and won't even try), then there is no partnership anyway.
I'm being very pessimistic here, and if there's a way for you two to work it out, I really think that'd be preferable. I just don't trust the decision-making processes of people who are mentally ill and resist treatment. They put their partners through an emotional ringer. Whether they intend that or not, it's still a painful thing to live through.
If you need a place to vent, this is a good one. I think.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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PS: if you ever do want him to leave immediately, just leave a copy of something by L. Ron Hubbard lying around.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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>>Norse TRICKSTER God, which I don't associate with animosity and deceit.
You're kidding.
Loki is directly responsible for the death of Baldar. During Ragnorak, he will lead the giants to war against the Aesir. While at the beginning of his career as a god he could be compared to Native American trickster gods, he takes a decidedly unpleasant turn somewhere and becomes utterly full of animosity and deceit.
:shakes head:
No, sorry-- if you're talking about the Loki of Norse mythology, the guy was definitely full of both animosity and deceit. The only good thing about him is his wife, Sigyn.
Which is rather ironic, in your situation, isn't it? Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Depends when you're talking about Loki, Scott. The earliest myths of Loki are very similar to those about Coyote. He was a god that had sympathy for humans and would take their side in disputes against the gods, often tricking the gods into going away and leaving the humans alone. He used to pal around with Thor and they adventured together.
He is, though, the most dynamic character in Norse mythology. Over time, the tricks became lies and the lies became hateful acts against the other gods. He did become evil, but he did not start that way.
Much like Set, actually.
Posts: 3960 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Loki, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through at home. I also think that if he's that closed-minded, this might be the best thing for you.
As for the mythology portion, I'd read that Loki was roughly analogous to Kokopelli?
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
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Sorry... um.. missed that part of your post. Damn skimming, it will be the death of me yet!
I'm going on distant memory of stories here, but I seem to remember him helping humans escape from giants and the wrath of other gods. Now, whether he had sympathy for them, I don't think so, but it seemed to be that he took the human side of things just to play as a foil to the powers that be.
I mean, he was also the god of fire. Useful, but unpredictable and potentially dangerous if you don't watch it closely.
Posts: 3960 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Perhaps it is possible for two people to be religiously compatable even if they are of very different religions. [Smile]
If the way you approach religion is similar enough.
Yep, that would be Fahim (Muslim) and I (LDS). Before him, I only ever dated other Mormons. Was never willing to marry outside the church - you know, marriage difficult enough as it is without adding religious, cultural, race, or socioeconomic differences to the pile and with my background, marriage (which I actually didn't think would ever happen anyway, so it was all a moot point in my eyes) would be difficult enough without adding all that stuff. Eh.
Loki, I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope things work out for the best, whatever that may be for you and your husband.
Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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