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I am going to study the effects of high sounding words on graduate students, and develop new words for testing on them. This new field will be called Edification.
Our first studies will establish the lack of relation between the use of words like "epistemological," "teleological," "hermeneutics," and the actual necessity of using those words and others like them. Additional studies on sneering, snide remarks, eyebrow raising, and low, dry sounding chuckles will be implemented after a basic correllation between the use of such terms and correct usage has been effectively dismantled.
The goal of Edification will be to create a corpus of literature on hip graduate students and to further develop a cadre a intellectual-sounding words that they can use to clearly demarcate thier alleged coolness. The benefits of this demarcation will be that I can avoid frequenting coffee shops or other establishments where this syllable-mongering takes place and start actually learning things.
If you would like to be a pioneer in the field of Edification, leave me a message below, with your favorite pseudo intellectual word. Thank you.
Signed,
Professor Bunbun Latte Starbucks Chair of Caffeine Induced Excellence
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You've got nothing on the medical and legal professions, where the first order of business is to teach new students the special argot. The legal profession bats around Latin as if they hadn't gotten the memo that the language is dead. The medical profession, on the other hand, uses abbreviations from the Latin, to ensure maximum incomprehensibility.
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I like the idea...but most of the grad students I know only PRETEND to understand what those words mean, in any context. The real sneering and snideness only comes when one reaches the post of assistant professor at some minor college in Nowheresville, and attends national conferences.
But, in keeping with the idea, my favorite pseudo-intellectual word would be diegesis and its adjective form, diegetic.
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Autochthony is my current favorite, or "natural."
For some reason the latin in law doesn't bother me so much--I know it's unnecessary, but sometimes they help as an easy reference. Like res ipsa loquitur, which means the thing speaks for itself, refers to a specific type of case in tort law. I think the thing that bothers me about the language of scholarship these days is that so many times it seems unnecesssary and counterproductive to use a word like "autochtonic" instead of "natural."
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You'll be happy to know that in the Political Science department here at IU there's a movement to use simpler, clearer language. Its focusing less on vocabulary and more on sentence structure, but simplifications in both are happening.
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I'll see if I can dig some of it up. Due to tenure, there are still a good number of successful holdouts, so I can't just pick a paper by anyone. I believe a lot of the movement is occurring in our Workshop in Political Theory and Policy Analysis ( http://www.indiana.edu/~workshop/ ).
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Not particularly Edifierrific, but my favorite hangman word is "queue" People get the Es and then think that's all the vowels it has and burn through a lot of letters.
quote:A number of critics have remarked that utilize is an unnecessary substitute for use. It is true that many occurrences of utilize could be replaced by use with no loss to anything but pretentiousness, for example, in sentences such as They utilized questionable methods in their analysis or We hope that many commuters will continue to utilize mass transit after the bridge has reopened. But utilize can mean “to find a profitable or practical use for.” Thus the sentence The teachers were unable to use the new computers might mean only that the teachers were unable to operate the computers, whereas The teachers were unable to utilize the new computers suggests that the teachers could not find ways to employ the computers in instruction.
sca·tol·o·gy Audio pronunciation of "scatological" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sk-tl-j, sk-) n. pl. sca·tol·o·gies
1. The study of fecal excrement, as in medicine, paleontology, or biology. 2. 1. An obsession with excrement or excretory functions. 2. The psychiatric study of such an obsession. 3. Obscene language or literature, especially that dealing pruriently or humorously with excrement and excretory functions.
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Congratulations, Kwea & Engimatic! You've been appointed to the Scrabble Chair of Letter Excellence, and the Hangman Center for Maltreatment of Stick Figures, respectively. You have a stipend for golf pencils and small notebooks.
Still available in the Edification department:
The Protection of Small Furry Creatures Chair Chairperson for the Committee of Iffiness Associate Professorships of Upwords, Crosswords, Trivial Pursuit and Boggle.
At the Institute of Edification, we're looking for a Provost of Provocation. This will require multiple submissions of 7 letter words that are synonyms for "smartitude," and selection via committee to be named by the Latte Foundation.
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Wow, I'm honored, because the majority of my maltreatment of stick figures preceding this momentous occasion has been perpetrated in the realm of emotional abuses, primarily but not exclusively.
"Where I come from we just shorten that sentence down to 'Woo!'" --Trucker Jim.
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To be fair, lingo-ising common language by the less than intellectual can be just as thwarting of cognition. The biggest difference is populist speakers try to limit syllabastic construction while specialized linguists try to increase the verbage conflation.
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Somewhere, there's an article by Orwell about how people shouldn't use "big" words when "small" ones are so much more understandable. I wish I could find it.
You have all been selected by the Latte Committee due to your excellent wordification of this thread. I heartily commend you on your unerring scholarship and cutting wit.
Your duties as professors of Edification will be a quarterly meeting to be held on the Hatrack regarding the indoctrination of future faculty members.
Thank you all very much.
Professor Bunbun Latte Distinguished Scholar of the Turtleneck
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Most of my attempts at a 7-letter word for smartitude wound up being adjectives, while smartitude itself is clearly a noun. I shall present the only one which remains as a reasonable synonym, however: Geekery.
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I would just like to point out that "epistemological," "teleological," and "hermeneutics," are actually useful in my discipline. And why were all three examples in the first post theological words anyway?
The united order of grumpy theologians will be filing a complaint with your dean, Professor Bunbun.
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I not only twisted my tongue, but I severely sprained it, and will need to keep it elevated for a week. Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Dkw, I feel your pain. Have your dean call my dean.
I would clarify that I have designated epistemological, teleological, hermeneutics, heuristics and even eschatological for their uses outside the field of theology. Please keep in mind that the central tenet of Edificationism is that we seek to establish first and foremost that such words be abandoned when are not used responsibly. This the doctrine of "crappism" first advanced by the mighty Edifist faculty you see posting here.
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dkw, truth be told those theological uses were utilized by English departments long before they became studied by religious students. It wasn't until the Dead Sea Scrolls that they became common theological excergesis.
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Really, people. It's not geekery and it's not geekidity. (Where do you come up with these?) It's geekitude. Or geekitudinousness, if you must.
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In the Edifist paradigm the correct term is geekery. This was established by Professor Enigmatic in the early days. He is the Hangman Chair of our department.
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I remember yesterday. All my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as if they're here to stay.
Flatpopitude -- The propensity to make pop references that fall flat since they refer to the popular culture over 25 years ago.
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Only five syllables, though. I'll have to look harder.
I have used it, in context, at work. It describes a floppy hinge, or joint, as in, "That axle in the pizza cutter is, basically, a non-holonomic pin."
I've also used "terrestrial" as a point of reference, as in, "You should really compare the functionality of the cameras we'll be using in orbit against their simpler, terrestrial counterparts." But even the geeks I was dealing with didn't know what the hell I was talking about!
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"the early days" = yesterday?
