posted
For those who missed it, this is the story of Scientology in South Park. The bottom of the screen said it was 100% true to the Scitology belief system. Its been verified by others since.
quote:I'm going to tell you a story. Are you sitting comfortably? Right, then I'll begin.
Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.
Xenu the alien ruler Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.
Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).
These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.
The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).
After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".
When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.
As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xenu is still alive today.
posted
To be fair, somone could write a story about my beliefs that would sound just as bizarre. (Well......maybe not THAT bizarre.)
Posts: 1412 | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
See what I mean?! These dudes are NUT JOBS! Who would believe in something that crazy? (other than Tom Cruise) Posts: 1941 | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
i'm not gonna attack anybody's belief system. if thats what they want to believe, more power to them. in my opinion, lots of people believe lots of wacky things, like that Fox news tells the truth for instance (i couldn't help it). hell, my beliefs are fairly wachy, and thats how i like it. the story above is at least a really entertaining thing to believe.
no, i have a problem with using religion and salvation to get money out of people. just like the old time catholic priests charging for absolution. it is ethically wrong and i take extreme umbrage with it.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
I agree that that sounds pretty bizarre, but it doesn't really sound all that much more bizarre than what I know about the LDS religion. And I suspect that someone who did not have Judeo-Christian background would find the Bible to be a pretty bizarre story too - especially some of the stuff in the old testament.
Then again, I've heard of even wierder religions. According to this one I know about, we don't really exist - at least not as you or I would think of us. Instead there are just a bunch of tiny little invisible, untouchable thingys (called particles) that float around, but not in any particular spot because they aren't only particles but are also simultaneously waves of energy. These particles act randomly and unpredictably, but also follow a bunch of probability rules, that somehow cause them to bunch together into people and other things. The particles can't talk or think or anything, but somehow when they come together they suddenly were able to, and thus we came to be! There's also a bunch of stuff about the bending of space and time moving at different speeds, but you have to be really well trained in their "particular" beliefs before they let you in on that stuff. Yes, all of this may sound crazy to us, but many of those who believe in it clearly seem to have an almost absolute faith in it, literally placing their life in the hands of it on a daily basis.
But then again, when speaking to outsiders who don't really know the details of a belief system, maybe it's possible to frame reasonable things as being far more insane than they actually are.
Posts: 2432 | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Some here are stepping past the user's agreement somewhat, folks. Please treat the people and belief system a little more kindly, however strongly you may disagree with it.
posted
I haven't seen South Park, but I thought that Isaac Hayes was the bartender on "The Love Boat".
As for Scientology, I don't give a hoot what people want to believe or how they want to worship. As long as people leave me and my practices alone, I get along fine with everyone.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
If even half of what that website I posted claims is actually true (it's well documented, but I haven't been able to back-check it yet), then Scientology is a downright evil scam.
If it's not, I couldn't agree with you more Tante.
Posts: 2907 | Registered: Nov 2005
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There are even more bizarre things happening every day in the theoretical realm of science. The difference is the amount of proof and what it is that constitutes as proof, which varies for different people.
Posts: 1256 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
actually, when i said that, i was being facetious. if i'm not mistaken, everything Xaposert said is true.
Posts: 2596 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Ah, well, I was actually referring to an earlier post by someone else. I actually hadn't read Tres' post, but now that I've read it I see that it made essentially the same point as my earlier post.
Posts: 1256 | Registered: May 2005
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posted
So Stephan, is that big quotation above the exact story used on South Park? I'm just wondering.
Posts: 781 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Omega M.: So Stephan, is that big quotation above the exact story used on South Park? I'm just wondering.
I thought it was, but I found out it was taken from that anti-scientology site. It was forwarded to me, and it sounded so close to what I remember I assumed it was correct.
Posts: 3134 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
What's the difference between a cult and a religion? I think for me it's freedom to choose, and respect for other beliefs... the principle of free moral agency.
A cult is a religion which treats people badly if they change their minds and want out. It's a religion which disrespects the beliefs of others, and fails to recognize everyone's inalienable right to their own thoughts and understanding of the nature of reality.
By that standard, we all have some room for improvement, I think. Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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