I know a lot of people have been coming here for resume advice and cover letter help.
I've been getting some conflicting advice from some of my collegues, so I thought I'd as for your opinion. I have two different cover letters that I've written for the same batch of jobs -- I'm looking for something entry-level in journalism -- and I wondered which one you all thought sounded better.
I guess I should probably post my resume here too, just so everyone can see how it would line up. It's posted at http://www.kasiehunt.com/resume.html . It should, but currently doesn't, include that I appeared on MSNBC re: my recent USAT article on Orkut.
The cover letters dont' include updated resume material mostly because I only want to put the work into revising one of the letters.
Anyway, folks, here they are. I'll put them in two new separate posts.
Thanks in advance
[ March 23, 2006, 06:11 PM: Message edited by: Kasie H ]
Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001
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posted
[Preface: Obviously these will be in correct business letter format, etc etc]
27 February 2006
Dear ----------,
While I was working at National Journal last year, two veteran reporters asked me to do a sidebar on the then-upcoming White House Conference on Aging, a gathering of citizens and policymakers held every ten years to determine the next decade’s aging policy, for their much longer story about Baby Boomers.
They were expecting a dry timeline piece, so they were thrilled when they read my story: It was a strong, forward-looking statement about the forthcoming event. Past conferences, I reported, were always keynoted by the sitting president and often used to aggressively push partisan agendas. This year’s was expected to be different: President Bush was deliberately burying his own pet project, Social Security reform. Even the conference’s chairwoman, Dorcas Hardy, who had lobbied for private accounts since she was Reagan’s Social Security commissioner, insisted that the gathering was “not a White House conference on Social Security” but rather “a White House conference on aging.”
Because of my story, the reporters I worked with – and the readers the magazine serves – were unsurprised when President Bush decided to avoid the conference altogether, becoming the first president to do so.
This is only one example of the persistent, in-depth reporting you will see from me as a ------------ at ----------. At National Journal and now at USA Today, I have consistently shown that I have the diligence and reporting instinct to dig beneath the surface and write a story that is both interesting and insightful – no matter what the subject.
Thank you for taking the time to review my application materials. I will follow up with you next week to confirm you received my information. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call or e-mail me. My phone number is ---------- and my email address is ---------.
[Preface: This letter got me the internship I have currently, at USAT]
Dear ---------,
Thank you for taking the time to speak with me this week.
I am currently a senior at George Washington University, and a part-time intern at the National Journal. I was a full-time intern for the magazine this past summer, and convinced them to allow me to continue working part-time during the school year. When I graduate in May, I am hoping to return to journalism full-time – and for good.
On my first day at National Journal, I had little true reporting experience and only a vague idea of what was expected of me. As it turned out, the internship has been very self-directed and has offered incredible opportunities: In the past five months, I have covered international broadcasting, Congress, Sandra Day O’Connor’s retirement and the subsequent Supreme Court vacancy, the Department of Energy, Medicaid, and several other subjects. I am particularly proud of the article I wrote on problems with battlefield medical records, a story I uncovered, reported and wrote entirely on my own initiative.
What the National Journal has not been able to offer is the fast-paced, daily reporting environment I now think I could thrive in. A news internship with the USA Today sounds like the perfect place to start.
Thank you for taking the time to review my application materials. I will e-mail next week to confirm you received my information. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call or e-mail me. My phone number is --------- and my email address is -------------.
posted
Both letters have to be updated, of course, to reflect what I've been doing at USAT...I guess my question is more about style. Is anecdotal better or is the quasi-resume-repeating style better?
Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Remove the period that is accidentally included at the end with your resume link (html.) and then that link will work better for some people..
Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I like the second one. Again, I'm bad at this. I hire people I like as people. There is something too cute about the first one for my taste. I don't know what the person reading your letter is looking for, but the second letters displays your initiative in a cogent and compelling manner.
I'm leaning toward the second one, too. The only reason I even wrote the first one was because an editor at USAT told me the second one was too boring/bland.
Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001
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A cover letter is, unfortunately, not about the applicant - it's convincing them that you fit their needs. It's a piece of marketing, where you focus on what they need and how you are perfect for what they need. I would include something in the first few paragraphs that aknowledges their need for outstanding journalists, and that, yay!, you're what they are looking for.
I think the sentence about how the place is fast-paced, but instead of saying that you would thrive in it, I would mention how you would contribute to their standard of excellence (or something like that). Overall, I like the second one better.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I don't like a lot of BS in a cover letter, or well, any writing, and the first one is a little too-wannabe-insider-know-it-all for me. In my mind, I'm thinking, "Who the hell are you do know what Bush's pet project is?" and "Everybody thinks that they work diligently and that they have instinct."
The first letter is written by a game-player, and the second one is written by a straight shooter. I like straight shooters-- as long as they have the wisdom to know what to aim for-- some people like game players. *throws his hands in the air*
Again, I'm the wrong person to ask about this.
Posts: 5600 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Okay, here's the latest version, with updated material (taking the advice to manipulate the second letter, not the first):
quote:Dear ----------,
I am currently a senior at George Washington University, and the reporting intern with the News section of the USA Today. I was hired at the newspaper after nine months as the reporting intern for the political weekly National Journal. When I graduate in May, I am hoping to return to journalism full-time – and for good.
In March, a story I wrote for the USA Today revealed that terror supporters are using Orkut, a social networking service similar to MySpace and Facebook, to share materials and recruit Westerners to their cause.
This story had never been written about in the national media – I uncovered, reported, and wrote the article entirely on my own initiative. Two days later, MSNBC interviewed me live about the issue.
In addition to covering terrorism on the Internet, I have reported on bible courses in public schools and the Powerball lottery for the newspaper. At National Journal, I covered international broadcasting, Sandra Day O’Conoor’s retirement nad the subsequent Supreme Court vacancy, and several other subjects. I am particularly proud of the article I wrote on problems with battlefield medical records, another story I uncovered and wrote independently.
My work at National Journal and USA Today proves I am a sharp reporter with solid news judgment, able to perform at the highest level under daily deadline pressure. But it also shows I am a fast learner and adapt easily to new situations: Over the past eighteen months, I have worked in television, magazines and newspapers and reported for organizations that target audiences ranging from the political elite to the average middle class American.
As a reporter for The Capital, I would have the skills, energy and versatility both to write compelling local stories and to challenge the nearby metropolitan dailies.
Thank you for taking the time to review my application materials. I will e-mail next week to confirm you received my information. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to call or e-mail me. My phone number is --------- and my email address is ----------.
Best regards,
KH
Thoughts and feelings? Edits?
Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Maybe put in the very first sentence what job you are hoping to get. That would give the reader a frame of reference with which they can judge how your stories and qualifications prove you would excel at your desired position.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
The last one is by far the best. It's got the zing of the first one and the professionality of the second—the best of both worlds.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Kat, that's a good suggestion -- thanks. I was thinking maybe in the last sentence of graf 1, where I talk about returnign to journalism full time?
Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001
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