posted
Missed you too, sweetheart, and in fact, I think I need your expert help.
Working a new story, quite a departure from what I've written before and I'd love to run it by you. I'll email you, maybe we can talk about it either via email or phone.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Careful what you wish for, Icarus. You might be the subject of Belle's next sentence... (insert scary music here)
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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I think a lot of people don't know what to say to people in dangerous health situations. I was in the emergency room the other day, and the nurse attending me said, "Just a week ago a guy your age came in and I did some tests. He had to go into open heart surgery a few minutes later or he would have died right here."
Great, thanks for telling me that. I wasn't worried enough before! Fortunately, I didn't need open heart surgery myself, but what a moron.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
There are lots of times when I'm not sure what to say. So, there are lots of times when I say, simply, "I don't know what to say." This is a good thing for people to try, because it lets them know that you are affected by their situation, and that you are open to listening to what THEY have to say. And it is genuine, which is nice, too.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I was just going to say something similar to Shvester. When my father died I heard uncomfortable comments from lots of people ... and I heard comments that were perfectly appropriate, but that I managed to take offense at just because I was hurting. But the people that hurt me the most were the ones who avoided me altogether. I'm sure they did it because they didin't know what to say, but I felt almost shunned. I came to appreciate those who would just say something, even if it was the wrong thing, because they wanted to express that they were with me in this.
Since then I've always tried to remember how it felt ... and that there really isn't any good thing to say, but that to say nothing is worse. So I often do say, "I don't know what to say, but I don't want to just say nothing." I express my love and concern for them, but I'm honest about not knowing what to say. It's the best I can do.
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Belle, glad things went well, and very glad you attended. Having had a similar situation in reverse (losing someone after a long battle) where a friend with a similar illness but a happier course and likely outcome attended the funeral, it was both intensely comforting to me to see her, and also made ME less worried about how she would be when next we met.
Grief makes your emotions and mouth and mind go unexpected places, and not all are dark.
As to your initial post and concerns, and I can only say as I have gotten older I have abandoned trying to figure out how some people think. Some just awkward, some failed attempts at compassion, some just plain stupid.
The best for you
Posts: 49 | Registered: Apr 2006
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