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Tonight I was out swimming in the lap pool we have nearby our quadriplex. I jumped in the hot-tub after I was done swimming, and almost immediately some guy from a nearby apartment came up and sat in the hot tub. He asked if I was his neighbor Sam, and I said no, I was from the other side of the complex.
He immediately asked me if I went to the local university (which I do) and then asked me why I didn't go to school closer to my hometown. I found it an odd question, especially since he asked it in an almost accusitory way, you know how some people do that alot? Anyway I told him I liked it here, and he immediately started in on a somewhat rehearsed recounting of his travels in the world. He eventually hit on a place where I had also been, Spain, and he started speaking Spanish. My Spanish really isn't that good, and when I struggled with it, he started saying things in Spanish, then saying them in English. He started quizzing me on things I had done there, and when I seemed not to know about something, he stared at me in disbelief as if I had committed some crime.
The whole thing seemed very strange, and I realized that he was slightly drunk (and drinking from a soft drink cup), when he started telling me about how to handle Spanish cops when you are about to get a DUI. It ended up being one of those one way conversations where he told me a bunch of things and I listened, and he rambled confusedly from subject to subject making grand points about life. When I offered a bit of information or an observation, he would either dismiss it or demand that I explain myself. As I say it was very odd. I didn't feel threatened at all; its not a dangerous place and he wasn't a mean seeming person, but it was just immensely.... baffling.
He was like one of those overbearing yachtsmen in a movie, who is transparently angling to impress everyone he meets with a few well honed (so he thinks) salespitches disguised as conversation. You know this type of person, the one who turns the conversation, miraculously, incredibly, to some subject he is an expert in, within 30 seconds from "hello." Such a tiring person.
Do you know what I mean? What kind of odd people do you run into in your daily life.
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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At work the other day, I took a phone call from a woman who had seen something on TV about soldiers in Iraq who had been killed. Apparently someone said they died protecting our (Americans') freedom or something along those lines. This woman rambled on about how she didn't know that we (in the U.S.) were attacked by Iraqis and blah, blah, blah ...
I listened and made "um-hm" noises, and when she was done, she hung up. Then I went over to our receptionist (whom the caller claimed to know) and told her about the call. She knew who I was talking about.
I work at a newspaper, and we get "Letters to the Editor" like that every week. I've never taken a call like that, though. Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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I've recounted this on Hatrack before, but one time I spent an hour train ride with a guy that said if I "clicked around" on the NASA web site, they'd track me down and give me a top-secret job, or something.
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Bok, that was you? We waited and waited, but you never came by the site. Finally we just out-sourced it to Thailand. Your loss.
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Bokonon: I've recounted this on Hatrack before, but one time I spent an hour train ride with a guy that said if I "clicked around" on the NASA web site, they'd track me down and give me a top-secret job, or something.
-Bok
Speaking of NASA, I had breakfast with my ex-boyfriend yesterday after having not spoken to him for a year. I figured he was drunk when he called, but he insisted he wasn't. When I got there, he had a glass of amaretto and coke in his hand. When we got to IHOP, he proceeded to imply that my boyfriend didn't really have a job...because a friend of one of his friends works for "the aerospace department of NASA," and he says that everyone works 9 to 5. So what kind of rocket scientist works at 2 in the morning? Clearly, my boyfriend is out picking up hos and having crazy sex. And lying to me. An my ex is just "concerned" and "doesn't want to see me get hurt."
When I told him that maybe the guy he was talking about worked for Lockheed, he started on a rant about, "HE DOESN'T WORK FOR LOCKHEED. HE WORKS FOR NASA. I KNOW ABOUT LOCKHEED. I WAS GOING TO WORK FOR THEM AFTER I GOT OUT OF THE MARINE CORPS! IN THE LASER DEPARTMENT! LASERRRRRRS! CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEVE, I DO HAVE A BRAIN!" While we were sitting in IHOP. Gah.
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Well, I have to admit, he put me through a severe vetting process before telling me this secret: he made sure I was reading a Sky & Telescope magazine (and that I had a subscription).
Yeah... The same guy had a duffel bag of mini-Budweiser cans. A few still had beer in them, even.
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I have so many stories that I never end up sharing because they're so far beyond belief that they sound made up.
Example: the woman who stands on the corner of 125th & Lake City Way every day in what looks like a southern belle costume and mutters to herself, indicting passersby of various crimes and informing them of things they need to know. Mine was, "Get 'way from me, vampire, Jesus ain't gon' let you suck mah blood. You cain't suck mah blood cuzza Jesus."
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
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You really should have bit her in the neck, and then shouted something along the lines of, "Where's your Jesus now!"
Posts: 959 | Registered: Oct 2005
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Well, a couple of months ago, I went to get sub sandwiches for a co-worker and myself. Well, I get to the store and it's closed but there's a somewhat elderly african-american man standing outside. He walks up to me and at first I think he's just going to mention that the store is closed. He puts out his hand and I reach out to shake it; he doesn't let go for about ten minutes as he proceeds to tell me about lot's an' lot's o' different things. Mostly about how he feels called to preach (don't get me wrong, he wasn't witnessing or anything he really had some problems) and he asked my pardon, but he was raised Catholic and then went on about a bunch of other non-sense and finally got around to asking for money to go to the local Church's Chicken. I gave him some (I felt sorry for him. I think he really may have been pschizophrenic);he grabbed me in a big bear hug, kissed me on the cheek and walked very fast down the street shouting (and I mean shouting) Hallelujah. Needless to say I felt a little weird right then.
edit to add: ( I wonder if you go to the IHOP website and "click around" will they offer you a TOP-SECRET job? )
Posts: 15 | Registered: Jun 2006
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My dad has a friend who is always at parties and such who apparently used to work construction and got, like, run over by a bulldozer. (He survived because he saw it coming at the last second and dove into a trench so it mostly got his legs.) Anyway, he's always going on about these crazy conspiracy theories, especially about JFK and UFOs. I don't know if he was crazy before the accident or just after. But anyway, he can't seem to talk about anything else. Plus he just creeps me out completely. He gives these over the top compliments and just looks at me in a way that gives me a, well, "uh-oh feeling" is the best way to describe it...
Anyway, he goes into these paranoid rants, sounding like Agent Mulder's long-lost, crazier and less-intelligent brother, and if you try to question even one point says, "No, this is the way it is! I know! I've done research! Have you researched this?" "I've read a thing or two about it." Whereupon he wants titles of books, names of websites, etc. When I tell him that I really don't remember (and imply that I really don't care) he starts telling me "You probably read this book. It's completely wrong, because I've done research and that book is wrong!" I've tried several times to inform him that just because you read it in a book, it isn't true, and just because you read it on the internet, it especially isn't true. He doesn't seem to take my point, and if he gets close to taking it, gets offended. The craziest thing is that we have this conversation every single time we end up in the same place, unless I sneak around and avoid him so he can't corner me, and it's like he doesn't realize that that is all he ever talks about (except when he's singing half-remembered songs very badly. And this is before he starts drinking!)
Oooh, it drives me nuts. My favorite part is the part where he implies I must be stupid and woefully uneducated because I have not read every single crazy theory ever written about JFK's assasination...
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I was looking for a job in the spiced sausage section at NASA, but they told me I was OVER-qualified... Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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I did something the other day that I bet made the people I was talking to go...Hmm, people are strange.
I was at the library looking for some books, and one of them had a call number beginning with QC, and since it didn't begin with PR (virtually all the books I look up usually have call numbers starting with PR and are on the fourth floor of the library), I went to the third floor to hunt for it. The third floor has books with call numbers C to PN. I looked and looked and looked for the Qs and couldn't find them anywhere. It went straight from N to P! How could they do that! Where were they hiding the Qs?
So I went over to the desk and asked politely, "Where are the Qs?"
"Fourth floor," said the student worker.
"Is that some kind of sick joke?" I demanded. The student worker stared at his co-worker, and they both stared at me. "WHY?" I said. "On the FOURTH FLOOR?"
"That's where the sign says they are," said the student worker, and he and his co-worker did some more staring, and then I sang the alphabet song in my head and remembered that Q actually came after P, and then I felt very foolish. I stared at them accusingly for another minute, just to make it clear that it was all their fault, and went away.
But they must have thought I was totally crazed.
Posts: 910 | Registered: May 2000
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Today, I was on my break at the grocery store where I work and I went to the deli section so I could buy a sub. I got a philly cheese, so I was waiting along time for the meat to be cooked since the oven was off. Then, after about 10 minutes (my break is only 30 minutes), she handed me the sub fully wrapped and priced. I explained that I wasn't finished asking for what I wanted on it. After they finally put the stuff I wanted on it and while I was waiting for them to rewrap it and price it again, another man walks up and says to me about how crazy it is that I'm still waiting. The lady that works in the deli asks him what he would like and he kindly responds that I;m in front of him. I tell him I already ordered, so he starts ordering. So at that moment, in my mindm this guy is nice and this lady is annoying for taking so long. As I'm getting handed my sub, I hear the guy start screaming at the lady. I hear, "Why don't you finish my first sub before you start asking me if I want mayonnaise on my other one!!!!" "I've never met someone who takes so long to make a sandwich in my life!! I want to see the manager!!!" As far as I can tell, he was pissed off because, while she was spreading mayonaisse on his other sub, she asked is he wanted mayonnaise on his other one. Wow. He was screaming his head off for about 10 minutes at a 70 year old lady for the stupidest thing I ever heard. And at first, that guy seemed so nice. Weird... If anyone had a reason to be pissed off at that moment it was me.
Posts: 2054 | Registered: Nov 2005
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A friend of mine invited a guy he knew from work to a party at my house some time ago. My friend was the only one who knew the new guy, so the new guy kept shouting his name in people's face every time he saw someone new.
"Hi, what's your name? Oh, nice to meet you, I'm TIM FAY!"
"Hey, have you tried these chips, they're great. Have we met? I'm TIM FAY!"
"Ha, ha. Good joke. TIM FAY likes the joke!"
After about an hour, we had to have someone make him leave.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by MightyCow: My friend was the only one who knew the new guy, so the new guy kept shouting his name in people's face every time he saw someone new.
"Hi, what's your name? Oh, nice to meet you, I'm TIM FAY!"
"Hey, have you tried these chips, they're great. Have we met? I'm TIM FAY!"
"Ha, ha. Good joke. TIM FAY likes the joke!"
It sounds like the guy might have some kind of neurological problem. I know a couple of Aspergers folk who do the same kind of thing. I tend to cut them some slack, and gently remind them to modulate their voices.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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OMG Bokonon! I just started Cat's Cradle the other day!
I was actually reading it the other day at a family party (okay, I'm unsociable). An obese woman accusingly asked what book I was reading and I told her and she walked off.
Anyway, as soon as the dessert was served she and 2 other obese women went and took about half the desserts there before anyone else could get there... :-(
Posts: 161 | Registered: Jul 2005
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When I worked at UAB years ago, we had to pay (grumble) to park on UAB property six blocks away from our building. So I got a nice walk twice a day through Birmingham's southside, and met some interesting characters, winos and other street people. There was a lady for a long time who used to walk up and down that street ranting and raving to nobody, cursing the universe. She would sometimes include passersby in her rhetoric, if they came into her awareness, which wasn't very aware. I grew quite fond of her over time, and when she was gone for a while I would worry about her. I know it's a dangerous and difficult life, being an outside human. I kept hoping someone would adopt her and bring her inside. I hope that's what happened.
Anyway, I totally see myself someday as a lunatic on the streets, and have long felt that "bag lady" was a career path for which I was admirably well-suited. When that day comes to pass, I hope I'm always an intriguing and stimulating type of street person, one who calls into question everyone's deepest assumptions, as the ranting lady was, and not just the dull unpleasant acquisitive sort, as so many of the winos seemed to be.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Then I went over to our receptionist (whom the caller claimed to know) and told her about the call. She knew who I was talking about. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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