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At what age have any of you gotten a friend a cel phone? My 9 yo has become quite the neighborhood social butterfly. Usually we limit him to our block or the house of the kid across the street, but today as we were getting ready to go shopping, a kid from a few blocks over stopped by asking for Matthew to some over. After some discussion we relucantly let him go ( with my cel phone #)I just called him home many hours later ( I had the kid's mom's cel #). I think he's getting social enough that I need to be able to call him but I don't want to pay a monthly fee. There have to be walkier talkies with a 4-5 block radius. What have you parents liked?
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I know I am not a parent, but when I was little my parents simply did what you did. They would exchange numbers with the parents I was with so they could call when they wanted me home. To me, that seems like enough. I think 9 is a little young to have a cell and any form of walkie talkie, unless you go to the high priced ones, is not going to last long enough to make it worth it.
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Good radios that communicate over that distance might put you out a fair amount. Also, they are not useful outside that radius at all. Cells are good everywhere. My tendency would be to get him a cell phone or let him take yours with him. Only you can judge if it's cost-efficient that way, but I think family plans let you add one more line for not much incremental cost.
Posts: 6246 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I've got a set of the about $40 walkie talkies in my yardsale box, I'll talk to my mom and send them to you romany. I forget the distance they work at, but we used them at our fairgrounds so we could communicate before I had a cell phone, and the parents used them from bus to bus on orchestra trips.
Edit: my mom says that's fine, we just need to find them. Send me an email breyerchic04 at gmail dot com
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Squee! Thanks, breyer! It's hard to give him the freedom he needs and craves when I worry he'll be kidnapped or hit by some idiot driver. Gah!
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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If the walkie-talkies turn out not to have sufficient range, you might try a Firefly. My 12-year-old has had hers for a while now (over a year, I think), and it's great.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I work with teens as a counselor at the local teen center, so I know a fair bit about the various attitudes around cell phones.
First, none of the kids who don't have cell phones ever have a problem calling their parents at the appropriate time as long as the parents have phones, but parents sometimes end up calling us in an effort to track down their kids. It seems that parents are now always reachable, but teens less so.
On the other hand, some of the teens are TOO reachable, and spend far too much of their time calling each other and coordinating their activites. Often the cell phones are the source of angst- kids get mad at each other if they don't answer every single call, and as a result it seems that some of the kids are always pulling out their phones.
Many teens don't have a good idea of etiquite when it comes to the cell phones, but incredibly, they seem to have a BETTER idea than most adults do. I think this may be because the kids where I live were raised around cell phones, and have picked up on what is appropriate and what is not... most of the time anyway. For instance, teens are less likely to interupt conversations in order to answer their phones, and they are less likely to talk TOO LOUDLY on the phones, like you see older people doing. Familiarity with technology has made it easier to deal with phones for these teens; the ringers are usually off or not loud, and their talking volume is reasonable, but there are excesses in the technology as well. For instance, they are always taking pictures and videos with their phones and sending them back and forth, and become preocuppied with the constant flow of pics through myspace. Myspace is now accesible through newer cell phones, but I haven't seen the effect of that just yet.
Another negative is that the kids with phones generally increase their communication but decrease their social interactions. They are forever planning meetings and talking about talking on their phones. I have driven field trips with 12-14 year olds who did NOTHING for 5 hours in a van but talk about phones, myspacing and texting. I mean they talked about their pages, their various phone features and past communications with eachother and with others. The whole trip was a running re-cap of their social scene; they didn't seem to ever actually see each other in real life, and they were cosntantly talking about friends who were cities away, whom they never saw, but were in constant contact with. They talked about their myspace friends as if they were real friendships. Very strange.
One really big problem I see with the phones in these kids hands is that teens have a need to talk and communicate ALOT, but they have very little to actually say. The phones allow them to chat their heads off instead of reading books or having peaceful time to think or do homework, or talk to older people. The valuable relationships I remember having with counselors and teachers when I was a similiar age are harder to establish when these teens are always talking at each other and ignoring the real world. One particular trip, a group of teens were incredibly rude to me and the other counselors, calling me ("mr. driver-man" as if I was a hired bus driver instead of the trip coordinator) and I blame that partly on the fact that they had spent the whole trip yacking on their phones rather than getting to know any of us. I don't think I would EVER have treated a counselor at my rec camp or teen center like a servant, but that is what this particular group of maybe a dozen kids did. The sense of power they had, of worldliness that wasn't based on reality, seemed to change their behavior and give them a wierdly false confidence.
Though I would very much have liked to simply call time out on the cell phones, those kinds of judgements usually result in angry phone calls from oblivious parents about their kids' need to be safely in communication with their parents. As if they hadn't sent their kids on a trip under MY supervision, and is if that was the use of the cell phones I was trying to prevent.
That is another big thing, parents have a false confidence in their kids when the kids have cell phones, and they, like their kids, feel fine ignoring the staff in charge of supervision, as well as the rules about pick up times, check in times, etc. Instead of asking me or another counselor about when programs end, the standard is now for the parents to simply tell the kids to call them when they need picking up. As a result, we are usually stuck with a dozen participants who were too oblivious (duh they are younger teens!) to call their parents half an hour before they needed to be picked up, and these parents are late. It is a simply matter of looking at a schedule or asking a coordinator about pick up times, but parents blow off responsibility for schedules and for their contact with our staff, and tell their kids to "just call," and amazingly it never works out quite right. "My parents told me to call them," is an oft heard explanation of why I and another counselor are waiting 45 minutes after pickup for one remaining kid, usually followed by "I don't know why they aren't answering the phone."
But whatever, you want the ability to call your kid whenever, then you can have that too. These warnings are just to highlight the fact that people managed a similar activity level and amount of meaningful communication before cell phones were invented, and the problems with communication have changed, but they haven't gone away. Don't let your cell phone replace your brain, is all I'm asking.
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Aside from the fact that romanylass's child is 9 , a lot of those problems can be solved with prepaid phones. But teens talk a lot on the phone no matter what, and I don't know if that's really a bad thing. I think it's just the nature of the age; by 12, I think most kids have a tendency to have long conversations about Lord-knows-what. My friends and I were nerds, so we talked about outer space things. 'course, none of us had cell phones, so we hogged up the house line like respectable pre-teens.
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Listen Hobag, I know the kid is 9, but he's gonna be 13 in like, around 4 years right? That's not so far away. I do think that kids can communicate meaninful by phone, but then I don't see a reason why most of that shouldn't be happening in person- which is why I work at a teen center. Not just because I'm an immature kids myself, and I like playing guitar and super smash brothers and eating hotpockets all day... though I do adore that as well. Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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You're just bitter about the office horses.
4 years is a long time when it comes to cell phones. Besides, that doesn't change the fact that prepaid phones can fix a lot of those problems...and maybe kids talk on the phone instead of person because they don't get to hang out very often. It's not like they can drive themselves around.
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Romany, We have struggled with the same issue, of how much freedom to give the kids in the neighborhood. I know we have had other threads. There is a cell phone you can get which has only four numbers the kids can call, and which they have for emergencies. A friend told me about it. I can find out more if you want.
We have tried walkie talkies, but they never really seem to work.
So, we go by the ancient custom of calling on the telephone. It works!
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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We use Nextel at our house, the phones are both cell phones and two-way radios. You can get service on the two-way radios that is radio only - the only number it will dial is 911. That way, the child can have the radio and be in contact with parents through the two-way, but not be able to use it as a phone.
We haven't purchased a phone for our 13 year old yet, but when we do, it will be a two-way radio only. keeps her in contact with us, has the ability to dial 911 in an emergency, but doesn't turn into something where she is on the phone with friends night and day. The only people she can talk to are people on the two-way system, which won't include very many of her friends.
Funny, when she argued for a phone, she gave the standard reasons - what if I need to call 911 in an emergency? What if I'm stranded and need to call you? When we told her that all that was solved by giving her a radio only, she pouted and fussed. so, clearly, she had more in mind than simply emergencies and the ability to call her parents.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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rivka, thanks for the link. Arrrgh. He just got grounded because he left the house to play with friends and we had no clue where he was.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
On another note - I think if kids want a cell phone for purposes beyond safety ad they get older, it's only fair that they should contribute somehow to the cost of the plan. How they contribute (monetarily, helping with family work beyond their usual chores, teaching Grandma to use the internet, etc) and how much would probably vary a lot, but as a 23 year old from the ME generation, I really think the costs of things should be clear at a young age. Maybe just have them sit down with you each month to pay the bill and look over the minutes they used and charges..
Oh - and I think this about cars too. Chip in on the gas and insurance or trade chores for having the Bank of Mom and Dad pay for it. Just seems like a good mini-intro to real life.
Posts: 471 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
I didn't get a cell phone until I got a car, but I think at that point they're pretty necessary. Not only might you need to call someone for help, but also it's much easier to figure out confusing directions if you can call someone and ask if you get lost. After we got rid of the cell phones, I got lost a lot more often.
posted
I do like the set up of the disney phone systems, where parents can alot minutes from to the kids phone, can track the kids and it has many other features too. I am not saying this would be good for the 9 year old but for some older kids it seems like a really neat solution.
quote:I didn't get a cell phone until I got a car, but I think at that point they're pretty necessary.
Ha. I didn't get a cell phone until my oldest was in Kindergarten. Managed to survive all my teen years, college years, and early-married years without one.
But now I'd be afraid to live without one. I don't get lost anymore, and if I break down, I don't have to pray for help - I can actually call for help. (Hmm. Decreasing prayers - not necessarily a benefit to having a phone. )
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Oh, I know people lived without them. But that's the thing with technology...it doesn't take that long before you really do feel like you need it.
Especially when you break down in the middle of nowhere.
quote:Originally posted by Belle: We use Nextel at our house, the phones are both cell phones and two-way radios. You can get service on the two-way radios that is radio only - the only number it will dial is 911. That way, the child can have the radio and be in contact with parents through the two-way, but not be able to use it as a phone.
Ooh thank you for this information! My current cell contract is almost up and I've been contemplating getting a family plan so the kid could have one for contacting me. I hadn't even thought about the walkie-talkie plans.
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
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I've got to admit that purchasing a cell phone for my child is pretty unthinkable at this stage. I wouldn't even consider it.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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I can just see Sophie with a cellphone... and KetchupPrincess Emma... and Superstation and Mooselet...
Posts: 4515 | Registered: Jul 2004
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I'll be turning 17 next month and I'm still not allowed a cellphone. Course, it's not like my parents ever let me out of the house for reasons other than school and grocery shopping, so why would I need one?
Posts: 1215 | Registered: Apr 2005
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, a lot of those problems can be solved with prepaid phones. But teens talk a lot on the phone no matter what, and I don't know if that's really a bad thing. I think it's just the nature of the age; by 12, I think most kids have a tendency to have long conversations about Lord-knows-what. My friends and I were nerds, so we talked about outer space things. 'course, none of us had cell phones, so we hogged up the house line like respectable pre-teens.![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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