posted
If a random stranger came up to me on the street and asked me for a hug I would give it. I'm a very huggy person.
It might just be my culture, though. When I was in Lebanon, I greeted dozens of people I never met with a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. It's just custom.
Posts: 1594 | Registered: Apr 2006
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quote:posted by erosomniac: I'm enough a creature of my culture that I'm almost never entirely comfortable with hugging a man.
That's why some brilliant, brilliant guy invented the pseudo-hug. The one where you shake hands then go in with your left for the manly back thump. Sort of like a hug, but with one arm each creating a nice barrier between torsos.
It says, "We're friends, but this is the closest our genitalia will ever get to touching."
Posts: 2907 | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I have a problem deciding what to do wtih my in laws. After five years of being married to their brother/son, I feel like a handshake is a bit formal. But, when I give a hug, they get all stiff and it just seems uncomfortable (my husband is huggy with me and always has been, but when we meet up with his family, if he hugs them it is an awkward hug on both sides). Most unexpected hug I ever received was from a prof (older woman) after the exit interview for her class. I have never had a prof hug me before or since and was like, um, what the heck, kinda half hug back in confusion.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
I dislike being touched, period-- but when I am on the recieving end of a hug, I assume most people don't hug me out of malice. It doesn't make me hate the hugging any less, but I appreciate the sentiment.
It is like if I were a father, and my kid gave me a box of snails for my birthday, I'd feel touched. I'd still slip the box into the trash bin once he leaves the room, but all the same, I'd feel touched.
ETA: I hope psuedo-hugs catch on with women. Being hugged is awkward enough but the fact that it’s so squishy (!!)
Posts: 181 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Eduardo, I don't hug guys, and I'm pretty Tante said the same. Actually, a few people expressed the desire not to be hugged.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
Ok. No prob, Rivka. You and everyone else who lack the desire to be hugged can mail me a 40-page form stating that, hereby, you're a non-huggable person. Don't forget the duplicates, please. Whenever anyone try to hug you, ask them to read the form. By the end, I'm sure the hugger-wannabe will have lost any desire to hug.
Oh, yes. And I'm not a simple male. I'm a Maiar. Big difference.
Posts: 1785 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
IMO, if you feel uncomfortable being hugged, it says a lot about you, and less about the hugger.
That being said, I only think this because I have noticed my unwillingness or discomfort with hugging is usually related to how I feel that day, or how I fell about that person, or how that person looks. Also, I have known certain people to dislike being touched by anyone without permission, and I find these people to be generally arrogant and unlikeable. Not to say that is always the case, but it's something I get from people who say, "I don't like to be touched," that tells me I shouldn't trust them, that they have no investment in other people or in trusting me in return.
There is something quite basic in the difference between cultures geographically as well. When I spent a summer in Europe, meeting only Europeans all the time, I was sometimes kissed by strangers (always very attractive women, I have no idea why that was the case ), and being taken aback, but also opening myself up to it and enjoying the disparity that was great enough to be understandable.
The hugging thing is what Americans worry about, while in Europe it is awkwardness over kissing, while male friends in many countries freely hold hands and drape arms across each other. I think what's interesting is that when I was confronted with a TOTALLY different standard of personal space, it was foreign enough to be clear to me in terms of intention. The most important thing in dealing with people of an even closer culture than between Americans and Europeans, is to understand their intentions and see them objectively, not judging them by your own exact standards. I think Americans are deceived GREATLY by our homogeneity of entertainment, accent, and political issues, because place to place we really are different people.
Posts: 9912 | Registered: Nov 2005
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), and being taken aback, but also opening myself up to it and enjoying the disparity that was great enough to be understandable.
