posted
Yeah, kinda do. I mean it's a nice feeling and all. And it would be wonderful if I could expect... you know, something to come of that feeling. Like, if I already knew she was in love with me for instance. But otherwise... not so much. Cause usually it just means I think "Wow", shortly followed by "Aww crap, not again". I'm not good with the whole girl thing.
Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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posted
Just piping in (sorry to intrude, but only a little sorry)... um, it sucks for girls, too (meaning when a guy smiles and you fall in love...)!!! ; )
ps - Alcon - i think i know what you mean, i'm not really good with the guy thing. so basically feeling totally attracted after meeting someone for a short while throws me off!!
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I believe in lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first sight, which can turn into love, but usually not.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
Attraction is a little too week, lust and infatuation are too strong. I doubt we'll find an exact word for it. But he got the point across, I think we all know the feeling he was talking about.
Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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I fall for the girls who hate me, and look at me like I'm an idiot. They're the ones who're smart and difficult--my type all over.
Posts: 1314 | Registered: Jan 2006
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posted
Ill have to agree, its my least favorite feeling. Especially sense, silly as i am, i do it seemingly every day, consistantly saying 'well, she might be the one'
ha. i agree with mr. porteiro.
Posts: 34 | Registered: Dec 2006
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quote:Originally posted by mr_porteiro_head: I don't believe in love at first sight.
I believe in lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first sight, which can turn into love, but usually not.
Exactly.
But you can have something more than lust/like/infatuation/attraction/whatever at first conversation that turns into love and there is a feeling of inevitableness about the whole situation.
(I'm not disagreeing, I'm just being sappy, and recollecting.)
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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The first contact I had with my now-husband, I thought he was a total dufus. And possibly not all that bright.
Luckily, I was wrong. He's a total dufus, all right, but in a good way. And he's very bright, just not at 1 in the morning after writing e-mails for two hours after studying for three. I'm surprised he could type at all coherently, knowing him as I now do.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
The first time I saw they guy who would be my husband, I was on top of a building on campus looking down, and saw him going across the quad. I was instantly fascinated, and said, "That is someone that I'd like to get to know better."
To expand on my last post - I met my (now) husband on a non-date with a mutual friend. Our friend by no means intended to set us up (in fact, she was kind of ticked off by the events she set in motion). But from the first conversation we had that night, we realised there was something very, very serious between us.
We were dating (exclusively) a week afterwards, and pretty much committed in our relationship a day after that.
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
The first time I saw my husband was, for lack of a better word, resonant. Sure, he had that mixture of physical characteristics that pushed my buttons (gorgeous red-gold hair, strong profile (I have a thang for nice straight, narrow nose, for some reason) and a certain assurance in the way he carried himself) but it was more than that. Would I call it "love" as I have come to know it? No, but I wouldn't call it strictly "lust" either. I am familiar with lust, and find it fairly easy to ignore.
There is a Japanese folk tradition that says true lovers are united from birth by a crimson thread. If they meet each other, they know it right away, but if they never meet they just kind of vaguely feel like they are missing something their whole lives.
Does everyone have a crimson thread? I don't know. But I DO believe that there was something almost prescient about what I experienced when I first met my husband.
(I also don't mean to imply that those whose first meetings with their true loves were not that resonant are not truly meant to be. I just wanted to asert that while "love at first sight" is a simplistic and easily misused phrase, dismissing it as pure lust is also somewhat simplistic and misleading.
(In the interest of full disclosure I should admit to wanting to break the hubby's kneecaps yesterday, over a rather involved miscommunication. However, that doesn't mean I don't love him )
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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I do believe you can know a lot about a person (at least sometimes) from a single conversation.
I also believe (based not only on my own observations) that we tend to remember things a tad differently than we might have described them at the time.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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I've known the girl for over 2 years now. Shes really popular and was the sophmore homecoming princess at my highschool. I had a class with her in 8th grade and that's how I knew her but we never hung out in ninth grade, and until now the most interaction between us was saying hi in the hallways or at football games. Im in 10th grade now, and she transferred into my spanish class about 5 weeks ago. We talked a bit more but we still didnt hang out or anything. All of a sudden this Friday she comes in and basically turns my life upside down.
I sit in the front of my class (assigned seats) and she sits all the way on the other side of the class. I sit by the door and on Friday as I was sitting down, she comes in. I say hi to her, and she looks all funny at me, touches my cheek and exclaims about how cute I am to the girl who sits beside me. About 30 minutes later we do a group activity and my partner for the activity sits right beside the girl. So I go sit with my partner and the girl's partner comes and sits by her. Long story short, she ends up playing footsie with me during the whole activity. Im trying to play it Ice Cold but its hard and I have no idea why all of sudden all this affection is coming from her. At the end of class she asks me if I was the kid who asked her if we were supposed to turn in some worksheet and if I had her language teacher. I wasn't the kid and didn't have her language teacher, so I told her so. She then asks her self why she mixed me up with someone else, only the answer the question by saying she thinks too much about me, while smiling. It was the smile that got me, but everthing that had happened that period was buzzing through my head. I don't know if I like this girl...
posted
Ask her if she'd like to get ice cream or coffee or whatever it is you tenth graders do Find OUT if you like her. Thats what dates are for.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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quote:Attraction is a little too week, lust and infatuation are too strong. I doubt we'll find an exact word for it. But he got the point across, I think we all know the feeling he was talking about.
Twitterpation. The word you are looking for is twitterpation. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
i agree with the general sentiment that love at first sight doesnt really exist.
its those times when its somone you're already close to and then they smile at you for some reason or another and suddenly you feel different about their smile. Or more importantly, you suddenly realise that you actually like them smiling at you and have to really think out why you just realised that you like them smiling at you. Which usually leads to you realising you like alot more about them than just a smile....
quote:Originally posted by SoaPiNuReYe: It DEFINETLY is not love at first site...
I've known the girl for over 2 years now. Shes really popular and was the sophmore homecoming princess at my highschool. I had a class with her in 8th grade and that's how I knew her but we never hung out in ninth grade, and until now the most interaction between us was saying hi in the hallways or at football games. Im in 10th grade now, and she transferred into my spanish class about 5 weeks ago. We talked a bit more but we still didnt hang out or anything. All of a sudden this Friday she comes in and basically turns my life upside down.
I sit in the front of my class (assigned seats) and she sits all the way on the other side of the class. I sit by the door and on Friday as I was sitting down, she comes in. I say hi to her, and she looks all funny at me, touches my cheek and exclaims about how cute I am to the girl who sits beside me. About 30 minutes later we do a group activity and my partner for the activity sits right beside the girl. So I go sit with my partner and the girl's partner comes and sits by her. Long story short, she ends up playing footsie with me during the whole activity. Im trying to play it Ice Cold but its hard and I have no idea why all of sudden all this affection is coming from her. At the end of class she asks me if I was the kid who asked her if we were supposed to turn in some worksheet and if I had her language teacher. I wasn't the kid and didn't have her language teacher, so I told her so. She then asks her self why she mixed me up with someone else, only the answer the question by saying she thinks too much about me, while smiling.
She wants to get to know you better. Period.
Her interest may not be romantic, but she's still, uh, interested. You have nothing to lose here by asking her if she wants to spend some time together. In a casual, "ice cream or whatever it is you 10th graders do" sort of way.
Posts: 4313 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
I would have to disagree. My gut instinct says she's flirting, and is in stage 1. Stage 2 starts immediately after she gets the guy interested. Then she starts ignoring him completely and will even be hostile just to maximize his pain and embarrassment.
Posts: 144 | Registered: Apr 2003
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quote:Originally Posted by: SoaPiNuReYe Long story short, she ends up playing footsie with me during the whole activity.
You sure it was her? There could be some REALLY confused person sitting at home right now with a BIIIG crush on you.
Homestar -
Have to go with rivka on that one. "Experience" would tell you that not all girls are like that, just the ones that aren't worth your time.
The thing I never really developed a radar for was when a girl is flirting because she likes you and when she is flirting because she's just, well, flirting. Girls at my work are the most flirtatious people I've ever met, but I know that probably 95% of them are just kidding around, and it's all just in good fun, and 100% of whatever flirting I do is just that too, really a joke more than anything nearing romantic interest. But it's impossible to tell the difference, because flirting is all the same, but the intent is a mystery, and it takes me forever to parse out the difference.
I mean, at least when a guy flirts with a girl (single guys anyway, or douchebag guys in relationships), the girl being flirting with knows what his intentions are (or at least has a decent idea), but guys remain flummoxed (or at least, I do). It took me forever (seriously, the better part of 9 or 10 months) to ascertain whether or not Raia might have liked me before we started dating, and even then it took me even more time to work up anything even close to the necessary amount of courage to tell her how I felt.
So I still blame girls, but not because I think they are evil, or because I'm bitter, but because they're like a devilishly hard game of Clue, where I'm stuck in the Conservatory and can't seem to find the secret passage. But that still doesn't stop me from playing the game Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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quote:I mean, at least when a guy flirts with a girl (single guys anyway, or douchebag guys in relationships), the girl being flirting with knows what his intentions are (or at least has a decent idea), but guys remain flummoxed (or at least, I do).
Gotta disagree with you there. There are plenty of guys who simply flirt, period, with no other intentions. They flirt because that's how they communicate. And then, you work up the nerve to say, "Hey, wanna go out some time," and they act completely floored, as though the thought of you romantically never even crossed their minds. So, no, just because a guy flirts doesn't mean that the flirtee knows his intentions.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
I know guys that flirt to prove to themselves that they are attractive. I know girls that do the same thing.
It's not great, but they don't actually have a relationship or kiss someone or have them give up things for them just for the thrill, but I've known plenty of people of both genders who flirt for the fun of it without ever intending for their to be followup consequences.
I don't actually think that's bad. Flirting is fun. Just don't sell the farm and buy a ring until you are sure there is something more.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I don't disagree with you at all, and I didn't mean to imply it was a bad thing. I just felt the need to disagree with the, "Guys are obvious and girls are mysterious" declaration. Cause, y'know, it doesn't always work that way.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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However, that doesn't mean I don't love him 
