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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » New column: Hiding from Harry Potter spoilers, back soon

   
Author Topic: New column: Hiding from Harry Potter spoilers, back soon
Chris Bridges
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Hiding from Harry Potter spoilers, back soon

“Everything all right? You weren't checking your e-mail, I came to see if you were OK. Why is it dark in here?”

“Can’t go online.”

“Excuse me?”

“I fear the Internet.”

“So? You’ve always feared the Internet.”

“That was a vague, almost subconscious dear. This is an active dreading.”

“And the Web is going to get you… how?”

“There are spoilers there!”

“Oh, the Harry Potter thing.”

“Yes, the Harry Potter thing! ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,’ the seventh book in the series. I’ve been waiting for this for ten years, I don’t want anything to spoil the ending for me. Or the beginning of the ending. Or any of the middle stuff. I don’t want anyone telling me what happens to Harry or Ron or Hermione or what Snape’s deal is or whether or not someone kills Voldemort. I want to read it all fresh and exciting and unsullied by hints and revelations from some loose-fingered blogger.”

More...

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Kama
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they all die!
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Eaquae Legit
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Exactly.
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Chris Bridges
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I'm not LIStening! LALALALALALALALALA...
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aretee
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Maybe there is a place we can all hide together from the ruiners and spoilers.

I'm even a little scared of Hatrack. But, people are typically courteous enough to flag spoilers.

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mr_porteiro_head
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People are weird.
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BlackBlade
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You can't guard against the telepaths Chris, expect a flood of thought based spoilers to saturate your brain in just alittle under 1 hour. BWAHAHAHAAHHA!

<pause>

<gets breath back>
[Evil Laugh]

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Chris Bridges
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Ha ha! You'll never get past my protective head gear! I used the heavy duty Reynolds Wrap!
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Strider
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Great article Chris! you had a spelling mistake though:

quote:
That was a vague, almost subconscious dear. This is an active dreading.

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Icarus
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[Big Grin]

quote:
“That was a vague, almost subconscious dear. This is an active dreading.”
I believe there is a typo here.
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Chris Bridges
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Eek! Fixed, thanks.

I blame my usual proofreader, who is currently unavailable for some odd reason...

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Strider
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I win Icarus.
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Chris Bridges
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What will you do with him?
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Icarus
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quote:
Originally posted by Strider:
I win Icarus.

Crap!
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Strider
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It's okay, don't beat yourself up over it. You're not less of a man, no matter what anyone tells you.
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Megan
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I'm upset that I missed a contest in which Icarus was the prize.
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GaalDornick
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Stay away from the comments section on Youtube. For any video.
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BlackBlade
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quote:
Originally posted by GaalDornick:
Stay away from the comments section on Youtube. For any video.

That and wikipedia entrees relating to Harry Potter or else are high traffic in of themselves.
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CaySedai
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Well, that set me off on a spoiler-seeking spree. I didn't find anything that I believe.

But, I still have a contest entry to write for our local public library. Staff members are selecting their favorite possible endings from what is submitted, so I want to write something that will get their attention. It's due by Friday.

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Icarus
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quote:
Originally posted by GaalDornick:
Stay away from the comments section on Youtube. For any video.

Speaking of . . . I got an e-mail saying that someone had replied to a comment of mine. There were a hundred pages of comments on this particular video, and finding the reply to mine was hell. For one thing, because the reply was not grouped with mine in any way--nor was my reply to the reply. They really ought to be able to take you right to the page or something. Very annoying.
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Uprooted
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*suspicious sideways glances*

Oh, no. You're not going to trick me into reading that column. Nuh-uh. I just know you snuck a spoiler in there somewhere.

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MrSquicky
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I heard that Harry Potter is actually a ghost and, at the same time, Kaiser Voldemort.
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Chris Bridges
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I ain't linking to it, but the Baltimore Sun got an advance copy and already posted a (mostly) spoiler-free review.
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mr_porteiro_head
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This link might contain some spoilers.
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Narnia
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I didn't even read Stephen King's review in Entertainment Weekly last week because my sister said it was a real review of the actual book. I know he wouldn't spoil on purpose, but I didn't even want to be spoiled by his weighty, thoughtful contemplations.
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Mike
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I read somewhere that Voldemort is actually Harry Potter's mom.
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breyerchic04
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Too much mpreg fanfic will do that to you mike.
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GaalDornick
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quote:
Originally posted by Icarus:
quote:
Originally posted by GaalDornick:
Stay away from the comments section on Youtube. For any video.

Speaking of . . . I got an e-mail saying that someone had replied to a comment of mine. There were a hundred pages of comments on this particular video, and finding the reply to mine was hell. For one thing, because the reply was not grouped with mine in any way--nor was my reply to the reply. They really ought to be able to take you right to the page or something. Very annoying.
Click where it says View All Comments and then just Ctrl F and find your name. The reply should be right underneath it.
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Chris Bridges
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The New York Times reviewed it today, avoiding specific spoilers but mentioning the number of fatalities and what "Deathly Hallows" are. Or is. I didn't read, I read the stories about the review, including the one quoting Rowling as being disappointed at the NYT ignoring the express wishes of millions of readers.
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GaalDornick
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Did they say how many stars NYT gave the book? I know it's extremely unlikely, but I'm afraid that JKR might have gotten to caught up in explaining all of the mysteries and giving HP a good send-off that she'll forget to write a good story.
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BlackBlade
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NYT's review does not have a rating that I can see. DON'T read it, it certainly spoils a major plot development from which the book derives its title.
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Teshi
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I think most people have an vague idea what the Deathly Hallows is or are.

I too am hiding. If someone spoils it for me, after nine and a half years, I shall be furious.

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Chris Bridges
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We had a big discussion at the newspaper I work for about how to handle this. We did not get an advance copy, but we'll have a review running Sunday. After quite a bit of arguing over spoiling the ending vs talking about what everyone will be talking about, the print side is going with spoilers in a format that you'll have to work for (just glancing at the page won't give you anything) and no spoilers at all online, where people might stumble across them in a search.
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Eaquae Legit
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quote:
Originally posted by Teshi:
I think most people have an vague idea what the Deathly Hallows is or are.

Not me not me LALALALALA... *fingers in ears*
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hansenj
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quote:
quote:Originally posted by Teshi:
I think most people have an vague idea what the Deathly Hallows is or are.

Not me not me LALALALALA... *fingers in ears*

Ditto!
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BlackBlade
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quote:
I think most people have an vague idea what the Deathly Hallows is or are.

Unless you have read the book or talked to somebody who has read it, you really don't.
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Lisa
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It's actually a pun. The book features poisoned marshmallows -- Deathly Mallows. They started as Weasly Wizarding Weazes product, like Nosebleed Nougats, but they got out of hand and decimated the wizarding population of the UK.
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solo
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I hate that freakin' marshmallow.
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andi330
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NO NO NO NO NO. Not LISTENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit: If I had a subscription to the New York Times, I would cancel it. They didn't get an advance copy of the book from the publisher or anything. According to several fan sites, they bought it a bookstore who was selling copies early. BOO!

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Lisa
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quote:
Originally posted by solo:
I hate that freakin' marshmallow.

"I am sick and tired of these freakin' marshmallows on this freakin' thread!"
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Jessica89
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quote:
Originally posted by Chris Bridges:
The New York Times reviewed it today, avoiding specific spoilers but mentioning the number of fatalities and what "Deathly Hallows" are. Or is. I didn't read, I read the stories about the review, including the one quoting Rowling as being disappointed at the NYT ignoring the express wishes of millions of readers.

I'm going on a longshot here, but, do you remember a Harry Potter site called PotterProphet.com?
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theamazeeaz
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Yeah. That article was so me?

Hi Hatrack. Yeah, I avoided you too, but I'm back now.

Did you miss me?

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PSI Teleport
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quote:
“That was a vague, almost subconscious dear. This is an active dreading.”
I read this as "vague, almost subconscious deer" and thought, how did he already know?
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rivka
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Today, even WOOT has HP spoilers! [ROFL]
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Icarus
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But they're fake, aren't they?
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pooka
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My brother wrote a spoiler that tied Harry Potter to the Rapture.

I almost feel bad having turned my back on all my beloved Harry Potter naysayers at the 11th hour.

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by Icarus:
But they're fake, aren't they?

[Evil]

I don't think I'm going to answer that.

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David Bowles
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SPOILER!!!

Hagrid turns out to be just a normal guy who's used the Engorio spell on himself.

Fred and George are actually the same person.

Ginny gives Potter a going-away present behind the locked door of her bedroom... ahem.

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