posted
I was reading the Porcelain Girl's thread about not being at home for Thanksgiving, and I was interested that this provoked such a reaction. I've never lived in the US, so I'd like to ask:
What does Thanksgiving mean to you, and why it is so important?
Oh, and when is it? (I have narrowed it down to November...)
posted
It's the 4th Thursday in November. This year it's the 22nd.
Thanksgiving is a time to reflect and be grateful for all the blessings in my life, especially for the grace given to me. The first blessings that always spring to mind are my family, abundance of food, water, and shelter, and the very breath of life.
Posts: 354 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
It falls on Nov 22 this year. It is always the fourth Thursday of the month of November.
Thanksgiving for me is significant for two reasons. First it gives us a day to consider the things that we are thankful for, which sadly I do not think many do enough.
It is also significant as it commemorates a historical event where the native Americans helped some of the earliest immigrants to the United States survive. It's an event that stands in stark contrast to many other Native American/Colonist encounters of a less friendly nature.
It is specifically important to me that it was my great X11 (I think that's the right number) grandfather who created the holiday.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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For me, it's a time when I can go home, take a break from work, and relax. Eat expensive cheese and read trashy books. Sleep in my own bed. See old friends and family.
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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I was thinking of "not doing" Thanksgiving this year. Two of my kids are away from home and busy, and I have to work the day before and the day after, so I was going to see if I could sneak by with skipping it.
But then I was talking to my daughter on the phone and I said, "you're not coming home for Thanksgiving, right? because you have to work the next day?"
She said, "Mom -- of COURSE I'm coming home. It's Thanksgiving! (said in that "how could you possibly think of anything else than the family getting together for Thanksgiving!" tone)
So, yeah. That's what it is to us. One of the few times of the year that we all actually sit down at one table together and spend time as a family. And get along. And enjoy each other.
posted
Thanksgiving is one of those things that you look forward to --> you may have a huge paper or test coming up, but at least next week you can just chill with friends and family.
Love that story, Farmgirl.
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I think feeling grateful is the foundation of a happy life.
I think of that book, The Hiding Place about the people who are thrown in a concentration camp for harboring Jews, and the story about the fleas. That's a good one.
We go a little overboard with the eating, sure, and I feel a bit bad for the Native Americans. But the idea of celebrating Thankfulness just seems brilliant to me.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
Family (or friends if family is unavailable) + food + no presents needed + tradition
It's very How To Make an American Quilt for me. My mother's family has used the same menu and recipes for the past fifty years, and when I was in Dallas I would go to my aunts and she'd teach me to make the meringue pies. Every year. For five years. I never did get to actually make the pies, but I was taught how every year. *grin*
Posts: 1753 | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
School taught me that thanksgiving is about men in funny hats and trumpet-nosed guns all hanging out with a bunch of happy savages! And eating!
The rest of childhood taught me that thanksgiving is all about family arriving and taking your room from you so you sleep on the couch except when your mildly alcoholic uncle wants to watch his 'damn football' so he kicks you off that too and you just know when you come back your bed is going to smell like mothballs and nicotine and everyone's arguing with each other and your mom just wants you out of sight so she tells you you have to play outside and she doesn't understand why this is a terrible idea because it's twenty degrees outside and you're already on edge because your grandmother was arriving and she's a bit obsessive compulsive and your mom knew she'd get a load of crap for having a home which wasn't as clean as grandma's sterile, obsessively-dusted doily-and-doll museum of a residence so she had a nervous breakdown and had you scrubbing walls for a week and you can't go play with your friends because this is family 'togetherness' time except you don't feel really 'together' with the family when you're purposefully exiled to the 'kiddie table' with your younger cousin who is constantly in and out of the hospital and smells like bengay and ulcer medication and bubbles snot out of her nose while you try to eat on an uncomfortable fold-out card table away from the adults and it's not making the process of eating overcooked turkey wads any easier and you just know that before this dinner is through, your slightly eerie looking fringe-pentecostal Aunt-in-law from some strange independent church in the Nevada wilderness is going to be shouting at your mother for having you on ritalin because she believes all that to be ungodly and according to her the reason you haven't been doing well in school is because your catholicism is a false, Satanic lie of a religion and she bets you've been force-fed that 'evolution' crap and my mom will rub her temples and say denise, please this isn't the time, denise and i just know this is going to be the thing which makes her start smoking again and why hasn't dad come back all weekend, mom keeps deflecting the question, says he's on a business trip but i know that's a lie, the mechanic shop axed him two weeks ago and his pale blue desoto wouldn't make it ten miles out of the city anyway but i don't want to ask these questions right now because mom's started slapping me again just recently ...
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:[as an Indian, ad-libbing during a Thanksgiving play] Wednesday: Wait! We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. Amanda: Gary, she's changing the lines. Wednesday: And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.
Addams Family Values
Posts: 6316 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Aww, thanks, but don't worry about me. That's just total fiction. My family is actually remarkably non-dysfunctional and our thanksgivings are fantastic affirmations of togetherness.
But there's just something poetic in how bad a thanksgiving can go. You know, like family reunion horror stories. And while I amalgamated that entire story together from bits and pieces of actual thanksgiving annoyances, some people's thanksgivings are kind of like that. :/
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Aww, thanks, but don't worry about me. That's just total fiction.
Don't do that.
Posting fake stories in the midst of real ones is a great way to both alienate the community and lessen its value at the same time. This online friendship thing only works if you're honest.
Please don't do that again.
Posts: 1753 | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
I am honest, and that was a work of open satire based on how absurdly bad some family get-togethers can be. I have a real thanksgiving story and not a Ha Ha National Lampoon's Family Thanksgiving story coming up soon but that will take some time.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
Crap. I've spent too much time on forums where I wouldn't have to be worried at all about something like that accidentally being taken seriously when not being serious. I didn't even consider it a possibility -- I guess its true I'll have to err on the side of caution and make the unorthodox move of post labelage.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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posted
It didn't even dawn on me that it was satire, though I did think it had to be a pastiche of crappy memories and not a literal recounting of one awful year. It did seem uncharacteristic of you, but I thought "I guess you just never know what's going to set someone off."
I do have a dysfunctional family, though. So that's probably why I saw it that way.
Nothing tickles my ribs like a little child abuse. [edit: I'm being sarcastic.]
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I like Thanksgiving -- it's one of the three or four times a year I can get together with my extended family. Which is why it's a bummer that this year it'll only be my immediate family and grandparents -- no aunts, uncles, or cousins.
The other nice thing about Thanksgiving is that the night before everyone I went to school with is back in town and we always end up meeting out for a drink. It's one of those nights where you spend 6 hours talking to 75 different people and never do get to ask your best friend that you rode there with how things are going with his new job because you're busy talking to the girl you sat next to in 3rd period art in 10th grade.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Right now Thanksgiving is about my wonderful parents who, when I found out I couldn't get the week of Thanksgiving off, changed all of their plans and decided to come here instead (and drag my new sister-in-law with them while my brother is deployed in a location he cannot disclose).
It means that I get to watch the delight in my parent's eyes as they spend time around my very precocious 2 year old and my, currently, very smiley and happy 3 month old.
It means I get to spend most of the day fretting over a turkey. I'll spend hours brining it, prepping and cooking (the cooking bit is actually pretty short). I'll make some rockin' Turkey gravy from pan drippings... It's going to be great.
It also means Packers and Lions!
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
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posted
Thanksgiving never meant that much to me. When I was little, I hated everything served at the traditional meal, except for the salad, rolls, and pumpkin pie. Now I enjoy all the food (except for cranberry sauce - bleh!), but the holiday still isn't important to me. Holidays and traditions generally aren't - I think I'm just too lazy to work myself up into the holiday cheer. Visiting family is a no-go, considering we're on opposite sides of the US.
Abhi and I will enjoy our extra holiday, I'll probably study a lot, and we'll probably have Chinese or Indian food, with pumpkin pie for dessert.
Posts: 2409 | Registered: Sep 2003
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For me Thanksgiving is one of the few times the extended family gets together. Usually everyone goes to my mothers house for laughter, great food, and good times. For a long time I used to take it for granted. Then I joined the Air Force and missed 6 thanksgivings in a row. Man those were some rough years, especially when you call home and you hear the laugher in the background.
Traditionally in my family we watch football, eat great food and to top it off we ply card games. That's how you knew you transitioned from childhood to adulthood when they let you play the card games. And this year for an added twist, for the first time ever, I'm bring a significant other to the festivities. My wonderful girl friend has decided to forgo spending thanksgiving with her family to spend it with mine. In return I'll be spending Christmas with hers.
Posts: 796 | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
The only times I've ever truly enjoyed Thanksgiving have been when I've had guests -whether family or friends it doesn't matter. If it's just me and my normal household, it just seems like a lot of extra work.
Like Farmgirl, I considered not "doing" Thanksgiving this year - 5 of my 6 children are on the mainland (and will be all together at my daughter's new house - along with some cousins and other guests), and here it's just me, my youngest daughter and my boyfriend. I was thinking I'd be depressed to not be with the rest of them, so I suggested we do something completely non-traditional, or even <GASP!> go out to dinner. My BF was fine with it, but my daughter (16) absolutely refused. So I invited a man who works in my building whose wife is on the mainland with their daughter and new baby and am planning a full, though smallish, spread. There are certain foods that I only prepare during the holidays, so I'm sure I'll work those in, though if my daughter weren't pushing for it, I probably wouldn't bother this year.
We'll eat until we can't eat no more, play some card or board games and talk story. I always try to focus on gratitude with my children - at least for a short time during the day.
Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
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posted
For me, it's about visiting whichever set of parents didn't get Christmas. Oh, and food.
I've never really found Thanksgiving to be much more meaningful than that. I'm not sure why I never got into the spirit of "thankfulness."
Posts: 2392 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: It also means Packers and Lions!
YES. Growing up, it was always snack-type food for lunch during the game (cheese, sausage, crackers, shrimp), then an early dinner after the game. It's how my family bonds... when we weren't at the grandparents' place. Even then, we watched a good part of the game.
(There's a threat of this being taken away from me this year, and I'm revolting. Turkeys aren't all that hard to cook, after all - I'm sure some of my fellow graduate students can read the directions. )
Posts: 3932 | Registered: Sep 1999
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Thanksgiving is fine, I guess. It's my least favorite holiday, because my mom always got so stressed out about preparing the meal that she'd start yelling at the rest of us. (Like any kid, I hate it most when she yells at my dad.) So there's always that to look forward to. I definitely prefer going to my in-laws for that holiday. My mother-in-law regularly prepares major meals with 4 or more side dishes, so for her, it's pretty stress-free, as far as I can tell.
Actually, the best of all were the 2 years we held it at our house. My husband is a super cook, loves doing it, and even when he's stressed manages not to yell at me. But we don't really have a place for that many people to eat now that we moved (since if we have it at our house, everyone comes, including grandparents. That's part of what made it fun, of course!).
Posts: 834 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Family is the most important part of Thanksgiving to me, although I've spent my share of Thanksgiving with no family. The food is always something to look forward to, but really it's all about the getting together with people you care about. It's about a warm house on a cold day.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
For me, Thanksgiving is a time for my family to come together and count our blessings. It is never as stressful as the movies make it out to be. My mother's cooking is amazing and it's the only time of year she will make her pumpkin pie and apple pie. About 2-3 years ago my sister started having parties at my parents' house every thanksgiving or day after, which include lots of drinking games.
This year we are all flying up to Wisconsin to visit my mother's family. This means dozens of short, fat, Italian people arguing and complaining about stuff I really don't care about. Luckily most of it will be in Italian. I'm sure the food will be awesome though, and it will be nice to see a select few relatives that I look up to.
Posts: 813 | Registered: Nov 1999
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quote:Originally posted by Samprimary: School taught me that thanksgiving is about men in funny hats and trumpet-nosed guns all hanging out with a bunch of happy savages! And eating!
The rest of childhood taught me that thanksgiving is all about family arriving and taking your room from you so you sleep on the couch except when your mildly alcoholic uncle wants to watch his 'damn football' so he kicks you off that too and you just know when you come back your bed is going to smell like mothballs and nicotine and everyone's arguing with each other and your mom just wants you out of sight so she tells you you have to play outside and she doesn't understand why this is a terrible idea because it's twenty degrees outside and you're already on edge because your grandmother was arriving and she's a bit obsessive compulsive and your mom knew she'd get a load of crap for having a home which wasn't as clean as grandma's sterile, obsessively-dusted doily-and-doll museum of a residence so she had a nervous breakdown and had you scrubbing walls for a week and you can't go play with your friends because this is family 'togetherness' time except you don't feel really 'together' with the family when you're purposefully exiled to the 'kiddie table' with your younger cousin who is constantly in and out of the hospital and smells like bengay and ulcer medication and bubbles snot out of her nose while you try to eat on an uncomfortable fold-out card table away from the adults and it's not making the process of eating overcooked turkey wads any easier and you just know that before this dinner is through, your slightly eerie looking fringe-pentecostal Aunt-in-law from some strange independent church in the Nevada wilderness is going to be shouting at your mother for having you on ritalin because she believes all that to be ungodly and according to her the reason you haven't been doing well in school is because your catholicism is a false, Satanic lie of a religion and she bets you've been force-fed that 'evolution' crap and my mom will rub her temples and say denise, please this isn't the time, denise and i just know this is going to be the thing which makes her start smoking again and why hasn't dad come back all weekend, mom keeps deflecting the question, says he's on a business trip but i know that's a lie, the mechanic shop axed him two weeks ago and his pale blue desoto wouldn't make it ten miles out of the city anyway but i don't want to ask these questions right now because mom's started slapping me again just recently ...
Take a deep breath. Wow.
Edit: Dang. You got me. I should read all the way before replying.
Posts: 1766 | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Pssh, Packers and Lions. Cowboys and Jets! That's where it's at. Also, this year I'm having a special Thanksgiving that is as non-traditional as you can get, and I've learned that traditions aren't as important as some people think. I can't wait for my random weird Thanksgiving! And steaks on the grill!
edit: Or, even better, Cowboys and Packers, one week later. *droooool*
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Thanksgiving is all about tradition for me. It's one of the few times that the whole family is together, and we just sit and talk and talk and talk (or stand in the kitchen working and talk and talk and talk!) Everyone brings something, even if it's something small, like the canned cranberries and a bagged salad from the store (that was me one year, when I was overly pregnant and exhausted.) And everyone helps set out the food and set the table and such. It's an exercise in cooperation and togetherness in which even the small children are enlisted (my three-year-old, for instance, helps by carrying her and her sisters' plastic plates and silverware and cups to the table. Other small children do the same, and the older kids may be entrusted with laying out the silverware or a similar task.) I was really hurt and upset when I moved out to TX and my mother-in-law not only didn't have Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving, but wouldn't let me help cook or bring anything, and had the table set when we got there. It's just not about the same things in their family, and she didn't mean to hurt me, but she never did get how important it was to me to participate in the preparation of the food and have it on the actual day. The actual day is important to me because it's one of the few times a year that we get to have a big family get-together that's not on a Saturday or Sunday. There's something about the Thursday date that's special (and the long weekend of leftovers!)
So I guess it boils down to togetherness, remembrance (we always tell stories and talk about the people not there, either because they've passed on or just can't be there that year), and cooperation, and also inclusion, a time to make sure no friend or family member is alone that day, a time to bury the hatchet if you're fighting with someone, a time to be happy and thankful for the blessings we have instead of focusing on what is going wrong.
That's what it means to me.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Originally posted by pooka: So is there anything similar where you are, anti-maven?
Firstly, thanks to you all for sharing your views on Thanksgiving. I understand what the fuss is all about now. In fact it sounds to me like a wonderful time - like the fun of Christmas without the crass commmercialism.
In the UK, Christmas is traditionally seen as the time for "family togetherness" but that is the same throughout the western world I imagine. Turkey, roast potatoes, carrots, brussel sprouts and stuffing, followed by Christmas pudding - ablaze with brandy - and retire to the drawing room for tea, the Queen's speech to the Commonwealth and heart attacks.
Here in the Basque country there are lots of different celebrations throughout the year, and I think the most important family one is Christmas Eve, when the family gathers, gives gifts, eats, drinks and is merry.
In the village where I live, the locals dress in traditional costume and sing Christmas carols from door to door. This year Family_Maven won't have to go to work (hoorah!), so we'll be joining in. Well, I'll be humming along, as my Basque isn't up to singing just yet...
New Years eve is also fun here as all the neighbours try and out do each other with fireworks displays. This has the added edge that fireworks are illegal to buy here. "What's that package sir?" "This, what the long pointy thing with a blue touch-paper? Ooh, couldn't say officer, must be a hatstand..."
BTW in the City of Plymouth, where I was born and raised, we have something similar to Thanksgiving. We gather at the Mayflower Steps and celebrate the day we got rid of those pesky buckle-shoed puritans, with their holier-than-thou ways. I wonder what became of them... Posts: 892 | Registered: Oct 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: It also means Packers and Lions!
YES. Growing up, it was always snack-type food for lunch during the game (cheese, sausage, crackers, shrimp), then an early dinner after the game. It's how my family bonds... when we weren't at the grandparents' place. Even then, we watched a good part of the game.
(There's a threat of this being taken away from me this year, and I'm revolting. Turkeys aren't all that hard to cook, after all - I'm sure some of my fellow graduate students can read the directions. )
Woah, you just named my exact Thanksgiving day schedule (even down to the shrimp!). We used to just have our immediate family, but then my parents split up and we'd go to my grandmother's one year and my mom's the next, but then my grandmother died and it switched to my aunt's one year and my mom's the next. Now it's just my aunt's house every year.
We arrive around noon and eat snacks all during the Lions game, then a short rest before dinner, where we have long discussions about whatever is going on in our lives, and generally share with each other. After dinner we sit around a fire (or TV depending on the mood) eat many kinds of pie (though it's tradition for the men of the family eat Banana Cream Pie, and this tradition is NOT violated, in fact it's a contest to see who can pack away the most), and talk about whatever.
The last couple years my cousins' kids tend to follow me around saying "Come on Adam, you said you'd play with us!" So my Thanksgiving is typically different from the rest of the family's. Generally instead of three hours of football, for me it's one hour followed by two hours of playing jungle gym to five highly energetic 3-7 year olds. I'm told this year they are really into High School Musical, so we'll see what that brings. And I'm hoping beyond hope that the bigger ones have either forgotten or outgrown piggyback rides, because for the life of me, my back might not be able to handle another holiday season.
But I love the little buggers, and for all my grumbling I have just as much fun as they do playing with them. Besides, I figure all the energy I expend outside with them has to make a good dent in the turkey I'll be scarfing down later in the day, and I generally only see them around the holidays (though this year I actually met them in Disneyworld, but that's another story). So it's a fun time for me to hang out with them, catch up on that side of the family, and be thankful that we have so much.
I love Christmas because of the holiday spirit, there's just so much going on, and the decorations, the snow, the chill in the air, and yeah, the presents, but the hustle and bustle of people all rushing around. I love that. And I love the Fourth of July because of the fireworks and celebrating our nation's history.
But nothing compares to Thanksgiving. To me it is the ultimate holiday of family, love, togetherness and giving.
And food, glorious food. Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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posted
I think GW just decided what day it would be on, and made it official.
Oh, but on a random note, where the heck did this quote come from??
quote: In the United States, Thanksgiving is a four day weekend which usually marks a pause in school and college calendars. Many workers (78% in 2007) are given both Thanksgiving and the day after as paid holidays.
Methinks that is WAY off. Maybe they don't include people who work for less than $10 bucks an hour "workers".
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Yes, but even service workers often get the day off. They tend to have the minimum staff needed to maintain service work that day.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Considering the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, then the minimum required is usually "all". Probably not for every example of the service sector, but likely for most of them where goods are sold.
edit: Another look at the article that contained that quote and I see that the survey was only given to ten employers. Not a very large group.
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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That's why I said retail has to work. But I classify anybody selling things as "retail" except for "food service" (where they are often also closed or on minimum staff.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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George Washington started the tradition, Lincoln started the practice, and Roosevelt designated the date.
Posts: 1029 | Registered: Apr 2007
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(In short, I would say that about 75% of workers being off would be fairly accurate, in my experience.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Hmm, maybe. But I can't remember ever seeing a restaurant that was closed the day after Thanksgiving. In fact, I've waited tables on four out of the last five.
Also, when I say service industry I think of several areas that are affected by the holidays without specifically being retail. Such as hospitals. (Someone gets to take care of the people who got charred deep-frying a turkey. )
edit: To clarify, in your experience, 75 percent of workers get Friday off, with pay?
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Yes, except hourly workers, who get it off without pay. (But sometimes get a bonus that almost compensates for that day's pay.)
My dad and mom are a doctor and nurse, and both get that day off, and usually did even when working in hospitals. Again, they keep a minimum staff on that day. The local emergency vet clinic keeps one doctor and one tech there; local vet clinics (non-emergency) and kennels are closed, just one or two people coming in to feed, walk, and bathe for a few hours twice that day. (Our first married Thanksgiving, my husband was one of the techs who got to go in for "kennel duty" at the vet clinic where he worked.) Local urgent care clinics are mostly closed and have a sign up directing you to the ER if you have an emergency.
Restaurants, depends on the area and the type. In my area, most are closed or have two people working there (fast food places, for instance, may be open but will close early and have only two people there that day.) Restaurants by the mall, yes, they're usually open (although again, sometimes with shortened hours.) It totally depends on your environment; more open in the city, more closed in rural and suburban areas. So your experience is probably skewing you to think that it's higher than it really is, when on average, many people in food service DO get that day off.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Okay. It just occurred to me that the quote could have been taken a couple of different ways and that we could have been on different pages. It also just occurred to me that I can't spell occurred.
For my experience, my husband and I have both worked Thanksgiving and the day after for the last several years (until I returned to SAHM) but that's because my husband worked for a soulless monster. A French one.
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I definitely prefer going to my in-laws for that holiday. My mother-in-law regularly prepares major meals with 4 or more side dishes, so for her, it's pretty stress-free, as far as I can tell.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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