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died this past Monday morning. I am 31 years old and I don't know how I will get along with out him. Much less my mom. There are no words. My brother and I have been at her house the entire time, but we have to leave tomorrow and go back to work. For those of you who pray, please pray for my family.
Posts: 11 | Registered: Dec 2007
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shathias, I'm so sorry. Was this unexpected or the result of a long illness? I'll pray for you and wish you all peace.
Posts: 3149 | Registered: Jul 2005
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My condolences to you and your family. I wish for strength and comfort for you and your family.
Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005
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My sincere condolences for your loss. You remind me to value my own father all the more, thanks.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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My Dad died over ten years ago. There still isn't a day when I don't think of him. There still are occurances when I start to reach for the telephone to call him, then remember. I also usually remember what he would have told me too. Keep your Dad's memory warm. He still can be a great help to you.
Posts: 1167 | Registered: Oct 2005
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shathias, I have been keeping you in mind. There were three things I wanted to add here:
1. This site is filled with people who would love to read your memories and stories about your father and family, if that sort of thing is something you are interested in sharing. Only if it is good for you, of course, but you should be aware that this would not only be okay, but welcomed, and for as long as you would like to do so.
2. I do not know what your experience is or will be, but I recall that my overwhelming reaction to the loss of my father was something that Artemisia noted -- it was repeatedly an ache to remember all over again that he was gone. Since he was part of the warp and weft of my world, I kept having to rerealize that loss in different contexts. It felt very much like walking down a set of stairs and reaching for the bannister, only to catch myself from falling because it was gone. That sudden loss of balance, the jerk back, that gasp, that lingering sense of vulnerability. This lasted for over a year.
3. katharina (a.k.a. Javert Hugo) has said that it often takes a year and a change after a major loss for things to really start to heal at a deep level. You go through all the yearly anniversaries without for the first time, and then with a large change (such as a move, new job, marriage, etc.), you have an element of redefining yourself as a new person. I don't know if it will work this way for you, but it is sometimes helpful to know that it can take other people a very long time to get over similar losses.
I hope you have family and friends around for you, and I hope you can manage to treat yourself kindly in the midst of this. That can be so difficult to do.
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I echo CT. You will not be speaking into a void, should the need/desire to share arise. My prayers are with you and your loved ones.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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You know, this is amazing. You all have responded with so much kindness to someone you don't even know. Even more so than some of my off-line friends. Thank you so much. Just reading this has touched my heart. I am not ready to talk about it just yet, but when I am ready, I am thankful for such a caring community to share with.
Posts: 11 | Registered: Dec 2007
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