quote:.... the drink is like 6/7ths spirits. I am at a loss to believe that some people could not taste this.
certain types of liquid mixed together have surprising tastes. I agree that if a Long Island is made right you can barely tell there's alcohol in it.
Ever had a chocolate cake shot? Explain to me how a shot where you finish by putting a lemon in your mouth tastes exactly like eating chocolate cake, but if you don't finish with the lemon, it just tastes like a horrible mix of alcohol.
Posts: 8741 | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've only ever tried a touch of a long island iced tea and it didn't taste a thing like alcohol, despite it being chock-full of it. Anyways. I think you articulated your reasoning for not drinking very well in the OP, bravo. But I can also see how trying to use that argument on somebody not really ready for a discussion on the reasoning for drinking could get messy, and how you could feel like if you don't explain yourself you're not being honest with whoever's asking. Everyone else has had good advice about what to do, so I'll just say "nice OP."
Posts: 655 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Wow. Thanks for all this great advice and support (so much now, I can't acknowledge all the ideas individually). I've got (at least) four more grad schools to visit this month, many of which will probably take the prospectives to bars, so the topic will surely come up.
To the person who asked: I just one day decided that soda was pointless because it contained no vitamins and diet soda had no calories so I really didn't get anything out of drinking it, not even energy. I was a fan of orange soda, and diet coke, but didn't like carbonation. In fact, when a Coke factory was on Bill Nye, I couldn't believe the worker said people drank soda because of the carbonation. So I decided I wouldn't drink it starting new year's 2000 and I don't miss it. Occasionally, I get annoyed when there's no non soda option, but it's usually no big deal. I've since noticed that there are people who are physically addicted to diet coke, so I'm glad I'm not. On a more interesting note, I am addicted to milk. I know this because I get a rush of endorphins from drinking powdered milk, which tastes awful.
I like the underage drinking ad at the bottom. Sorry google, I'm 21.
Posts: 1757 | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
My husband doesn't like the taste of alcohol or the sensation one gets from drinking. This means that I'm really lucky, cos I always have a designated driver without having to organise it (I do drink, occasionally).
He doesn't really get hassled about it - anymore - , but some people do ask "why not" which can be a bit annoying - however no one will ask why you're not drinking if you already have a drink in your hand. So just make sure you get a drink first, preferably something that looks like it might be alcoholic. If someone asks what you want to drink, say something like "I'll make this one a juice thanks". Or just say you'll get your own cos you want to look at the bar list or some other such excuse. They shouldn't ask if you want another drink if yours is more than half full (and if it is you can just say you still have to finish the one you have) so drink slowly
I think once you get into the way of it, it won't be a problem. Good luck
Also - if you don't enjoy being with your friend when they're drinking and you're not, you don't have to go along to the drinking occasions, just catch up with them some other time. That way you get to have fun, and they won't ask why you're not drinking if it's a non-drinking activity.
Posts: 1431 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
The idea that some people can drink a long island and not taste any alcohol at all is a new one to me. I mean, I believe you if you're saying it, but ..
posted
Don't feel bad about not drinking. Penn & Teller and James "The Amazing" Randi don't drink or do drugs, and they're athiests as well. So you're in good company.
I do drink, but not very much or really very often.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged |
quote:My main trouble is justifying this decision to my peers in a way that expresses my personal disapproval without making them feel like they have to justify their decision to drink, attempt to tell me that I could find a drink I liked that doesn't taste alcohol-y, continually offer me drinks, or socially isolate me.
I think you may be approaching this backwards. My guess is that, when drinkers take offense at someone not drinking, the reason is more often than not because they want to justify their own drinking to themselves. Giving a good reason for not drinking makes them feel the need to come up with some sort of better response, so as not to feel immoral in your eyes. So, my bet is that the better the reason you give for not drinking, the more they are going to be upset at you and the more they are going to try to convert you.
If you have no interest in converting them to your point of view on drinking, then I'd suggest giving as little of a reason is possible - and also a reason that would apply only to you personally and not them. That way they don't feel like you are calling them bad for drinking. For instance, you might just say you don't like it, and add nothing more. I've found that tends to work, if you repeat it once or twice, unless people really want to press the issue.
Posts: 8120 | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm 42, and I've had perhaps 20 alcoholic drinks in my lifetime. For the most part I've stuck with "Not interested" of "no, thanks." As others have said, offering reasons tends to make the questioner defensive about why he or she thinks differently. I'm also not terribly social and have become less so over the years, which helps Posts: 7790 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:My main trouble is justifying this decision to my peers in a way that expresses my personal disapproval without making them feel like they have to justify their decision to drink, attempt to tell me that I could find a drink I liked that doesn't taste alcohol-y, continually offer me drinks, or socially isolate me.
I think you may be approaching this backwards. My guess is that, when drinkers take offense at someone not drinking, the reason is more often than not because they want to justify their own drinking to themselves. Giving a good reason for not drinking makes them feel the need to come up with some sort of better response, so as not to feel immoral in your eyes. So, my bet is that the better the reason you give for not drinking, the more they are going to be upset at you and the more they are going to try to convert you.
If you have no interest in converting them to your point of view on drinking, then I'd suggest giving as little of a reason is possible - and also a reason that would apply only to you personally and not them. That way they don't feel like you are calling them bad for drinking. For instance, you might just say you don't like it, and add nothing more. I've found that tends to work, if you repeat it once or twice, unless people really want to press the issue.
I completely agree with Tresopax. When you say that you don't drink for such and such a reason, people who DO drink get defensive because they feel that you don't approve of their drinking and are trying to convert them. They feel guilty for drinking and are trying to justify why they drink. Make the reason you don't drink as simple and as non-judgmental as possible.
Posts: 1789 | Registered: Jul 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Health reasons, don't want to go into it should be reason enough. I was very annoyed with my sister in law when at her wedding, she didn't want to offer a non-alcoholic option. My aunt was going through chemo, my grandmother had just had a massive stroke, my dad is a recovering alcoholic and my mom has a billion health problem. But all of us are LDS so she figured that we wanted a non-alcoholic option because we looked down on her for drinking, so she refused to provide one. In the end, my mom bought ten bottles of martinelli's, which my sister in law hid. We had to go search through the kitchen at the reception hall, find them and then pour our own drinks.
Posts: 1001 | Registered: Mar 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I do drink, just not often and almost always with dinner or in a social non-drunken situation. I don't often end up at a party or a bar where everyone's purely there to get drunk so the situation doesn't often arise. If I am in a place where others are drinking and I'm not, not drinking is usual enough that it's easy for me to say "No thanks."
I have never been pressured to drink. I think the trick is to not look apologetic about it- as if you might change your mind. Don't be aggressive, just be lightly dismissive. Make sure they know you're not going to drink beforehand, if at all possible so you're dealing with sober people. "Yeah... I'm not gonna drink..." you can say if you're with a new group of people. Or: "I'm gonna leave early and I have stuff to do so..." (I usually leave before things get drunken). Or: "It's too expensive, and I'm poor." (said with a laugh).
Eventually, people will figure out that you don't drink. If they're good people, they'll be cool with that.
Like I said, though, I have the bonus of people occasionally seeing me drink- always wine. I like wine and I can say so. I didn't always though- I just avoided situations where everyone would be drinking alcohol to excess.
posted
As far as your worries about grad school I have a friend who while working on a PhD, went to "Thursday Beers" with the other grad students for several years, and never had a drink. It was an excuse to meet and socialize, with drinking as an option for those who wished to do so, but it was pretty low key.
Now it may depend on the line of study you are in, but I think overall grad students are a bit more accepting of doing one's own thing than lower division undergrads are.
Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
(I do drink, occasionally). ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
