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Author Topic: My relationship with the phone
Starsnuffer
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So. I'm curious as to whether I'm strange in this regard, but whenever I plan to call someone I am extremely apprehensive to do so lest I be interrupting some great event happening in that person's life. I just feel that my creating a loud disruptive noise for that other person, who could well be doing something with no intention of talking to me or doing what i propose to do, is incredibly presumptive and rude. This feeling is greater when it's someone I know less well... Sigh. It's a bad habit, I think. I don't do well with the phone. hm
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The Genuine
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I regularly shut my phone off, silence it, or just don't answer it. I pay for the service for my convenience and no one else's.

Call away!

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Pegasus
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I also feel that way, which is largly why I don't have a phone at all (because I don't wish to be bothered).

'Course, being able to afford a phone bill would go a long way too... [Wink]

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rollainm
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You're certainly not alone. A lot of people feel this way, myself included. I've gotten much better about it over the past few years, though.

I'd look at it this way. If 8-9 times out of 10 you can deal with it and make the call, then don't worry about it. On the other hand, if you often find yourself unable to make the call, then perhaps an appointment with a psychologist is in order.

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martha
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Yeah, I don't like making phone calls, I don't like answering the phone. It's partly that I don't want to impose my conversation on someone without regard to whether this is a good time for them; it's partly that I really need to be able to see someone's face to fully follow the conversation and to make sure they understand what I'm saying.

I express myself much more clearly in writing than in speaking, and email has the added bonuses (boni?) of (a) not interrupting someone's supper, and (b) I can read or send messages at many locations besides my kitchen.

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Hank
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I feel the same, which is why I text message instead, when I can. It's less intrusive, but they still get it immediately. And if it's too complicated to text, I send a text asking them if they have time to talk.
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mackillian
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I hate the phone. Texting is okay though.
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LargeTuna
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I hate the phone too!! for some reason there is more pressure on phone calls than in person! Im real personable and will talk to anyone in person but i tend to freeze up and forget what im talking about on the phone. The only people i like talking on the phone with are my close friends that i can tell inside jokes too when i forget what im saying, and my grandparents because i only get to see them a few times a year. It feels good to know that im not the only one who doesnt quite feel perfect with da fone. [Big Grin]
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Liz B
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I hate talking on the phone. I hate calling people. I hate answering the phone. This all got worse the year my husband was working for a church full of mean people who felt that his gigantic [Roll Eyes] salary meant he should constantly be on call.

Exception: My cell phone. Only people I like have the number.

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GaalDornick
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"I just feel that my creating a loud disruptive noise for that other person, who could well be doing something with no intention of talking to me or doing what i propose to do, is incredibly presumptive and rude."

If they don't want to hear a loud noise, they will (or should) turn their phone on silent. If they don't want to talk to you they will most likely just not answer the phone. Call away and let them make the decision.

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ricree101
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I tend to feel the same way as Starsnuffer. Unless my call is expected, I will usually try to use a method that is less likely to interrupt, such as email or IM.

On that note, I really can't wait until IM and cell phones start to merge more, so that there is some phone equivalent to the IM status messages. While IM is every bit as immediate as phones, the ability to say that you are away or busy removes a lot of the uncertainty about when it is a good time to contact a person.

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Starsnuffer
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Oo yeah ricree, that would be neat... c'mon magic of technology make communication better than ever.

I only really have an issue with it for people with whom the social situation is unclear, like more distant friends and things. And there's the whole different game of deciding whether it's worth calling a store/service etc or if they'll just fail utterly at answering whatever you want to know.

I'm surprised at the almost unanimous dislike for the phone. I was of the understanding that everybody loved their phone and yapped away on it every day for at least a bit (but maybe I'm confusing "everybody" and "some teenage girls" in my mind). Maybe an online community isn't the most fair population to have give this survey to, though.

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ricree101
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Oh don't get me wrong, I do love my phone. A lot of the conversations I have would probably fall into the area where things are a bit more clear socially. Within that bounds I like my phone. Really, the closer I get to "cold calling" someone I know the more of a problem it is for me. On the whole, though, I think the positives greatly outweigh the negatives.
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kmbboots
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Starsnuffer, I feel the same way. GaalDornick is right, though. At work, I tell myself (rightly) that if someone is too busy or important to answer their phone, they will have someone to answer it for them. I can make the calls I need to, but always with a little inward wince. Or a big huge outward shudder if I am doing volunteer phone banking.
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