FacebookTwitter
Hatrack River Forum   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Letter of Intent (Update - Anyone want to proofread?)

   
Author Topic: Letter of Intent (Update - Anyone want to proofread?)
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
I guess musing about grad school is the new favorite pasttime [Smile] .

This may seem like a stupid question, but how do I start out my letter of intent? I've got everything else lined up - All of my accomplishments, my interests, my past research and potential research. I even have two or three professors lined up to critique my draft once I finish it. I just have no idea what the first paragraph should look like. I feel like everything I'm coming up with is childish or stilted. "My name is Joshua Meeks. I wish to be admitted to graduate school." That just doesn't seem ... good. But I have no frame of reference for what is good.

Any tips on this first little step would be appreciated. Heck, really, any tips at all are appreciated, but the opening is what's messing me up right now. For the record, I'm applying for the Department of History's Masters program.

[ August 01, 2008, 02:54 PM: Message edited by: Dr Strangelove ]

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Teshi
Member
Member # 5024

 - posted      Profile for Teshi   Email Teshi         Edit/Delete Post 
Dear <Name>,

I am a recent graduate from ______________ seeking admittance into the History Masters program at <university.>

Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
scifibum
Member
Member # 7625

 - posted      Profile for scifibum   Email scifibum         Edit/Delete Post 
Teshi probably has it right, but I always find it funny to just be extremely literal and direct:

Dear <Name>,

This is my letter of intent. The intent which this letter embodies is to attend <program>.

...

I think it highlights the semi-absurdity of the way they expect people to pretend like they aren't just fulfilling a rote requirement, like filling out a form. People will go to lengths to make the such letters sound natural, as if it's normal correspondence.

The admissions personnel might not find it as funny.

Posts: 4287 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Teshi
Member
Member # 5024

 - posted      Profile for Teshi   Email Teshi         Edit/Delete Post 
I've been writing cover letters a lot recently. I think it's best to be direct and, yes, 'play the game' but not to the point of being overly flowery.
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
How's this:
quote:
To whom it may concern:
This letter is to inform Florida State University that I, Joshua Meeks, wish to be considered for admission to the Master's Program in the Department of History. At age 20, I may be younger than the majority of applicants, however I hope my youth may be seen not as detrimental, but rather as an indicator of my abilities and my dedication to education.

Then should I go into who I am as sort of listing things off, or should I make it more of a story. More literary I suppose. I was thinking about talking about how I've known since I was 8 that I wanted to be a history professor, and then saying that the same qualities which motivated me to work as a stable boy for 2 years so I could walk in the same streets Caesar did and stand over the same river Napoleon did, and the same qualities which motivated me to hike the Appalachain Trail in Maine, following in the footsteps of Henry David Thoreau and Benedict Arnold, are the same qualities which will guide me to success in graduate school.

Is that too flowery? I wanted to somehow communicate that though I'm young, I've done a lot, and also that I'm persistent and dilligent and love history. I also could mention about how I was homeschooled and was required to be self-motivated to succeed. Maybe I could tie in through my education my internal self-motivation and drive with my external love for history. and also cite my travels to Europe and my hiking in Maine.

I don't know. I don't want to sell myself short, and I feel like I in some way need to make up for the fact that I'm young and don't have much in the way of experience or awards or publications or anything. But I also don't know that bringing in things like hiking and working as a stable boy are really relevant and I fear they'll just be considered fluff, which can't look good in a letter of intent.

[Confused]

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Shigosei
Member
Member # 3831

 - posted      Profile for Shigosei   Email Shigosei         Edit/Delete Post 
You need a letter of intent? I just filled out an application. A part of that was a personal statement, but I wouldn't really call it a letter of intent.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
They specifically call it a letter of intent. I plan on going into my previous research and also what I plan to research. Since I'm applying for a specific institute within the university (Napoleonic and Revolutionary Era France), this will likely take the form of my going into what specific area's interest me, etc etc.
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orlox
Member
Member # 2392

 - posted      Profile for orlox           Edit/Delete Post 
http://www.utoronto.ca/writing/admiss.html
Posts: 675 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lobo
Member
Member # 1761

 - posted      Profile for lobo           Edit/Delete Post 
Did you have to take a test to get in, like the GRE? If so, and you did well, I wouldn't worry too much about the LOI. I would not even mention your age. It sounds like you think it is a big negative. Never highlight your negatives.
Posts: 571 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ClaudiaTherese
Member
Member # 923

 - posted      Profile for ClaudiaTherese           Edit/Delete Post 
That was what I was going to write as well, lobo, albeit not as succinctly. [Smile]

There is no need to mention anything other than your qualifications and drive. A LOI isn't intended to answer any and every question about you, but to be interesting and promising enough to get an interview. At the interview you would be expected to field questions about weak points or discrepancies in your background history, but you don't need to point them out in advance. Keep it strong and positive, highlighting how you are prepared for this step and why you would be a good fit.

Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ClaudiaTherese
Member
Member # 923

 - posted      Profile for ClaudiaTherese           Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr Strangelove:
How's this:
quote:
To whom it may concern:
This letter is to inform Florida State University that I, Joshua Meeks, wish to be considered for admission to the Master's Program in the Department of History.


Also, I'd delete the "Joshua Marks" here. That is covered in your signature and return address. This is a formal letter, but it isn't a legal statement, and I expect it would be good to avoid the stilted awkwardness of a testifying tone.

You have much to offer. I look forward to hearing about your interview! [Smile]

Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
If I could turn my age into a plus rather than a minus, would it be worth mentioning?
Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rivka
Member
Member # 4859

 - posted      Profile for rivka   Email rivka         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by scifibum:
The admissions personnel might not find it as funny.

I would. [Smile] And my colleague (who took over admissions, leaving me to handle only two jobs, bless her!) probably would too. [Big Grin]

Josh, I agree -- no need to mention your age at all. CT's suggestions are excellent.

Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ClaudiaTherese
Member
Member # 923

 - posted      Profile for ClaudiaTherese           Edit/Delete Post 
If you aren't fully qualified to take on the role (that is, haven't completed the mandatory prerequisites for being accepted into the program), then being young on top of that isn't going to help. If you are fully qualified, then your age is irrelevant.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ClaudiaTherese
Member
Member # 923

 - posted      Profile for ClaudiaTherese           Edit/Delete Post 
There comes a time in life when you don't get cool points just for doing something earlier than most people, at least not with regards to being hired or promoted. Past high school age, people who hire/promote you are going to be focused on outcomes: can this fella get the job done? can he deliver the goods? Outcomes matter, not just you as a person.

Any academic department looking to move someone forward is going to be looking first and foremost at the essentials of:

1) is he fully prepared?
2) can he do the work?
3) will he stick to it and finish the program?

(These are also good questions to ask oneself before applying for such work.)

The people who select you don't get cool points for your being young; they get cool points for picking students who shine. That is, students who will advance without problems, who get the work done on time, and who make all the way to the finish, thus making the whole department look good -- and, not incidentally, the person who picked you.

This is a bit of a sea change for those of us who were lauded through our childhood and teen years for being super-duper special at something (or at many things). It was enough just to be us. We were great! [Smile] And being younger than most while doing it made us even greater!

But that is childhood. That is the time in our lives when, for the most part, other peoples' reputations and livelihoods are not dependent on what we produce. It's just all about us. However, for paying jobs and/or advanced degrees, there is immense pressure to select not for people who are "great" in and of themselves, but people who can and will produce certain deliverables in a timely fashion. If they don't, then it doesn't really matter that they were young, and really doing awesome for their age, etc. -- what matters is that the job didn't get done.

Of course, hopefully the people you work with will care about you as well, but it doesn't change the fact that from here on up, they will be having to answer to other people about why you slipped up, got in over your head, etc. They become answerable for you. To the extent that you are fully prepared, can do the work, and stick it through, you will make the people who selected you look good. And being young doesn't make any of that more likely. To the extent that you do not do those things, whether for reasons related to your age or not, you will make the people who selected you look bad in reflection for not having anticipated that outcome.

Of course, I could be wrong. I half-suspect you are not fully qualified for the program and yet want to be accepted now anyway, but I could be way off the mark. However, this was one of the most important lessons I had to learn as a whiz-bang childhood/adolescent student, and it was markedly useful to realize why I had to make that shift in perspective.

I think it's a pretty standard lesson, too.

Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rivka
Member
Member # 4859

 - posted      Profile for rivka   Email rivka         Edit/Delete Post 
Well put, CT. [Smile]
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ClaudiaTherese
Member
Member # 923

 - posted      Profile for ClaudiaTherese           Edit/Delete Post 
Why, thank you. [Smile]
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
scifibum
Member
Member # 7625

 - posted      Profile for scifibum   Email scifibum         Edit/Delete Post 
If I had two identical lists of accomplishments before me, and person A completed them by age 23, and person B completed them by age 21, personally I would be somewhat more impressed by person B. It might not be by much, but maybe a little bit.

I guess I'm saying you *might* get some mileage if what you've accomplished in your youth is distinctly more than what most people accomplish in their youth. However, I have to agree with CT that it probably won't help if you aren't otherwise qualified.

Posts: 4287 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks bunches CT. I think that helped a lot.

My problem is that I question whether I'm qualified or not. Other's such as ... well, everyone else I've talked to, professors and advisors included, tell me that I'm more than ready, able, etc etc. And on paper, I definitely meet the qualifications. Not necessarily exceed, but definitely meet. I just have this lack of confidence in myself which. On one hand, because of the encouragement of others, I'll say it's irrational. On the other hand, I certainly come up with enough flaws and mistakes within myself and my work that I can't shuffle it off as an irrational fear. So I'm conflicted.

So my solution is to apply, do the best I can on the application, but not at all be surprised when I don't get it. Perhaps it's' that self-defeatist attitude which makes me want to come up with an excuse by making my age an issue on the application.


For the record, I graduate FSU with my BA this upcoming fall. Right now I have a 3.66 junior/senior level GPA (3.92 for my general education requirements). I scored a 1310 on the GRE (still waiting on my essay scores). I have five absolutely stellar letters of recommendation, all from college professors, four from professors here at FSU, three of those being history professors, and one of those being from the professor with whom I'll most likely be working with if I get in. I've never received less than an A on a paper over eight pages long, and that's not an exaggeration, nor is it a small amount of papers. I've taken multiple 4000 level classes which combined undergraduate and graduate and it is in those classes that I've done my best work, gained most of my recognition.
What I haven't done is publish, or win any awards other than being on the Dean's or President's List every semester. But the people I've talked to say that publications and awards are not necessary. There's only space for them on the application so that if you do have them, you have somewhere to list them.

So, by all accounts, I've met the standards. I don't have any reason not to be confident, especially considering FSU is not exactly top of the line as far as grad schools go. We're not bad, but no Yale or University of Chicago.

So why is writing a letter of intent so hard for me?

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
scifibum
Member
Member # 7625

 - posted      Profile for scifibum   Email scifibum         Edit/Delete Post 
How much do you want it?
Posts: 4287 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
I know, I know, I want to eventually be a history professor. I know that to do that, I need graduate school. And I figure that it makes sense for me to just go straight into graduate school while I'm in the schooling mindset and have the letters of recommendation, etc etc. So to answer your question, I do want it. It is necessary for my long term goal and it will be easier now than it will be in the future (presumably). However, while I do want it, I'm not necessarily excited or enthusiastic about it. [Dont Know]

Eh, I'm going to apply either way, which necessitates a letter of intent. Whether I get accepted, and then whether or not I accept my admission, remains to be seen.

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Teshi
Member
Member # 5024

 - posted      Profile for Teshi   Email Teshi         Edit/Delete Post 
All letters about yourself are immensely hard for almost everyone. It's nothing to do with you.

I think what you've got is a little awkward. I would be straightforward but not mechanical. Close your metaphorical eyes and plunge into the letter. Don't be afraid to write the end first or whatever bit you want to say.

I would recommend against putting your age, also. You're not that much younger than most Master's program applicants. Many will be only a year older.

And then don't worry too much about coming off the right way. As long as you profess a fascination for history, the ability to apply yourself in an academic setting and a particular area or areas of interest, you are showing what kind of student you are.

I wouldn't go longer than a page unless they specifically ask for more.

Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rivka
Member
Member # 4859

 - posted      Profile for rivka   Email rivka         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by scifibum:
If I had two identical lists of accomplishments before me, and person A completed them by age 23, and person B completed them by age 21, personally I would be somewhat more impressed by person B. It might not be by much, but maybe a little bit.

I wouldn't. I would wonder (assuming 23 were the "usual age" in this scenario) what corners the younger one cut. Then again, I am a bitter skeptic, who is all too familiar with the various corners some students cut or try to cut to get out of college faster. [Wink]

None of which has anything to do with Joshua. [Smile]

Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
RackhamsRazor
Member
Member # 5254

 - posted      Profile for RackhamsRazor   Email RackhamsRazor         Edit/Delete Post 
This is geared more towards a cover letter for an application/resume, but I think it has some good points to follow.

http://www.wvu.edu/~careersc/PDFs/LetterofApplication.pdf

Does your school have a career services center? My undergrad had one and they always had samples of letters, resumes, etc. It might be worthwhile to check it out to get your brain started.

In addition, I do not believe you should mention your age. You aren't so young that it would be very unexpected to be applying to grad school. You wouldn't want to mention your age in an interview, so I would not mention it in a letter of intent. Just talk about how/why you are qualified and be confident about it. Even if you are not a very confident person, do your best to make your written words sound like you are confident. When I had to write a personal statement for grad school, I had a difficult time writing with confidence. However, with a little help, I was able to make each thing sound like I was confident and therefore felt more confident in myself.

Posts: 306 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
So I'm throwing one together and I'm close to being done. It's a very very rough draft which I'm not really happy with, but at least it's out.

Now I'm wondering, is it better to list several research interests, or one or two main ones? I am mostly interested in the educational systems of Revolutionary era France (both pre and post Revolution), and contrasting those systems with those in place in Haiti around the time of the French Revolution and Haitian independence.

But I worry that simply saying that is too specific. I also am interested in the early career of Napoleon in Corsica, specifically his interactions with Pasquale Paoli and the Arenas family. On top of that I have several other interests in ideological and environmental areas of history.

So should I be broad and general about a lot of things, specific about a lot of things, or specific about a few things (or one thing), or something else? Remember, this is for History Masters program. [Smile]

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dr Strangelove
Member
Member # 8331

 - posted      Profile for Dr Strangelove   Email Dr Strangelove         Edit/Delete Post 
Soo ... anyone want to proofread it? It's not perfect, but it's only 545 words.

(I won't feel bad if no one wants to. I'm going to get my professors to do it when I meet with them in a few weeks anyways. Just if anyone is bored and wants to.)

Posts: 2827 | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2