posted
One of my roommates just said that Armadillos can carry Leprosy, which got us talking about Leprosy (another one of my roommates who had here-to-fore made fun of me for my fear of armadillos didn't know what Leprosy actually was. After I described it to him he now has a healthy fear of Armadillos).
After talking about Leprosy, the conversation quickly turned to how to cure it. I didn't know whether we have an actual cure for the disease today. The only guy I knew who was rumored to be able to cure it has not been around for the past 2000 years.
It was at this point the thought crossed my mind that if Jesus were alive and performing miracles today, the government(s) would probably be all over him trying to harness his powers for their purposes a la Claire from Heroes. I had just watched several episodes of the Spy TV show Chuck, and a movie appeared, almost fully formed, in my head.
The basic gist of the movie is that the world exists as it would have if Jesus appeared for the first time, not 2000 years ago, but today. The initial version of the film was an irreverent comedy wherein Jesus is narrowly escaping various government agents all over the place, going through all the action-adventure clichés in the process. After thinking about it a bit more, it occurred to me you could probably handle the movie in a fashion that remained an action-comedy but also served as a perfectly legitimate and possibly thought provoking take on Jesus' life.
It begins sort of Jesus Christ Superstar-ish with him hanging out on the streets, teaching his message to whoever will listen. His followers know that there are religious and secular authorities who find him threatening purely because of his message. But once he begins performing miracles, he comes under the scrutiny of a secret government agency trying to tap into and control the supernatural elements of the world. (Sort of like Hellboy)
Somewhere in the first half of the movie the three different factions converge on him and he goes on the run, getting into a bunch of wacky hijinks, at the same time trying to continue spreading his message. For the most part he remains calm, in the face of all this craziness, and his sidekick and/or romantic interest don't understand how he manages to be so calm through it all.
The fact is, like the original story, the entire thing is part of the plan. It ends with the government agency capturing him and subjecting him to an excruciating treatment in an attempt to harness his divine power. The process kills him and shorts out the entire government complex. Disappointed, they put his body in a containment unit for further study.
Three days later the sidekick(s) break in to recover his body, only to find it missing. Shortly afterwards there's some mysterious, uplifting turn of events with an ultimately positive message. (Can't think of anything more specific than that at the moment)
Credits roll. After they finish rolling, there's a brief scene in which the sidekick(s) run into Jesus again on the street. It cuts away before anything in particular happens, but just generally lets us know that yes, he came back.
So.... how boycotted would this movie be, and would that boycott be ultimately a good or bad thing for box office success? Would you personally be offended by it, assuming the Jesus character was portrayed positively overall?
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Edit: Just checked it out. Sounds like an interesting production, although I think my idea is closer to Chronicles of Narnia than anything else, in that it's literally asking the question "What would happen if Jesus appeared in a time and place different from the original story?".
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posted
When I was in college, I wrote a comic about the second coming of Christ. Only he wound up coming a few decades too early as the result of a drunken bet between a newly frocked priest and a young Rabbi, having been conjured into a golem assembled out of communion wafers. He and his new friends teamed up and roamed around the country in a VW microbus, fighting crime and trying to stop the Mormons from 'jacking the afterlife.
(In other words: broadly, it's been done.)
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posted
Oh I know (although I realize that may not have been obvious from the post). Halfway through writing it it occurred to me that this was essentially built out of clichés (this particularly hit me when I realized this was essentially Jesus Christ Super Star mixed with Hellboy). Christ allegories abound all over the place and beyond those are plenty of other stories that shove various religious metaphors in without much thought at all.
For that matter, every story worth telling has been told in some form already. I think something like this sticks out because on top of being exactly as unoriginal as most things are it looks like the sort of thing a 22 year old art student would throw together thinking it was profound and deep.
I still think it would be entertaining and somewhat interesting if done correctly and I'd probably pay money to see it if it came out. I was just curious what the opinion of an actual Christian watching it would be. For mainstream media, where's the current line of acceptable irreverence?
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posted
I wouldn't know without seeing the movie and seeing how various issues were treated.
On the leprosy note: I'm not afraid of leprosy at all... Most people don't get it even when they come into casual contact with it, and it's treatable...
Armadillos are still scary.
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posted
I'm only marginally more scared of armadillos now than I was before. But my roommate didn't even know what Leprosy was, so when he said "what's that do to you?" thinking something like "bad coughing" and I said "Um, your face basically falls off" his fear of armadillos went up quite a few notches.
Granted, I exaggerated a bit and left out how slow and hard to get it was, but if I can manipulate him into a crucially rational fear of giant cockroach mammal things, I'd say it was worth it.
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posted
Some aspects of the story also seem to parallel parts of The 4400 as well. In particular, the character of Jordan Collier.
Granted, as noted Christ allegories abound, but it does provide some insight into how a modern government might react to a modern day Christ and how that might look on screen.
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??? While admittedly most of the armadillos I've seen have been roadkill, armadillos are so unobtrusive I don't get the scary factor. If you come up to one, it'll most likely hide in its shell or run away. Just don't pet it and you should be okay on the leprosy front.
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posted
My idea of leprosy comes from Thomas Covenant. I assumed it was a perfectly accurate representation of what leprosy is like. Is that not true?
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posted
I have to agree with what was said before, it depends on how the movie ends up covering certain issues. Making a movie about Jesus coming back during modern times is easy. All you get is boycotts. I think a much more BRAVE movie is Muhammad coming back to earth.
Besides, I think this Jesus story as presented is a comic book misreading of the New Testament. The miracles Jesus performed, at least before the Resurrection, were a curiosity to the believers and rejected as blasphemous (satanic) magic by religious authorities who even questioned if he had any powers. The secular government, as represented by the Roman authorities, saw the combination of his politics and reputation as a miracle worker as threats. That is why he was hung on the cross.
I don't see those attitudes changing one bit in the modern world. You only have to read the relatively recent history of the Mormon founder Joseph Smith Jr. to see the above repeat all over again. He was, like Jesus, a religious social radical and known at times as a miracle worker. The only major difference of public perceptions is perhaps the kind of miracles associated with him and a far more secular society. Today at least in the United States I think there would be far more tolerance by the government toward Jesus at first and it would take longer for him to be put to death. In fact, I think his death might be more of a secret assassination than a public execution.
Then again, this is your story. Perhaps you aren't going for "realism" as much as just a story or whimsical musings. Certainly you are entertaining the popular perceptions of the New Testament Jesus history. Not that I think it could actually be made anyway.
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posted
The movie, as first popped into my head, had basically the atmosphere of Chuck (whimsical, sort of Jackie Chan style). It was definitely irreverent and definitely not a strict reimagining of the New Testament.
It was only afterwards that it occurred to me that you could rework it into something that combined some serious and comedic elements in a way that would actually make some sense. I actually think the Narnia comparison is pretty apt - the original Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe took the Jesus story and A) set it in a different world and B) filled that world with elements that would appeal to children.
When the movie came out, they beyond that, focusing specifically on the war/action aspects that do well on the big screen. The climax ends with Jesus (Aslan) EATING the witch, which is something I kinda doubt the original Jesus would do. Honestly if I were Christian I think I would have been offended by that point, but I'm not and the Christians I know don't seem to be offended by it so... whatever).
>>>> You only have to read the relatively recent history of the Mormon founder Joseph Smith Jr. to see the above repeat all over again.
For the most part, I WAS saying it all be repeating again. The secular and religious authorities were worried more about his message and less about his powers. I just added the secret Hellboy/Heroes "Company"/MIB faction, which didn't exist in the original form at all (at least... not that we know about . They're good at keeping things secret...)
This isn't a movie I'd actually intend to produce, so much as one I'd pay to see if someone else did. If in 20 years I'm some famous director who can decide to produce whatever he wants I might consider it but I assume I'd have a number of better ideas by then.
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posted
Yes, that is true about armadillos being a reservoir of Leprosy in the USA. (At least, I read that too.) But calm your fears. Also known as "Hansen's Disease," it is curable by treatment with antibiotics, although the treatment can take several years. There are currently about 6,500 cases in the USA. Link: http://www.hrsa.gov/hansens/
Oh, and consider me to have already begun boycotting your "comedy action Jesus movie." Posts: 3742 | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
>Oh, and consider me to have already begun boycotting your "comedy action Jesus movie."
Well, I find myself rather unsurprised here...
>But calm your fears.
MY fears? I'm not afraid of them cause they give leprosy, I'm afraid of them because I only see them at midnight, when they look like giant cockroaches. And no, they DON'T run away. They just sit there, staring at me.
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posted
And as it stares at you, it chants softly, hauntingly in the night, "Tail-e-po, tail-e-po, all I want is my tail-e-po...."
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posted
That "Tail-e-po" thing is an allusion to an old American folk tale, the kind told around campfires at night. Has anyone else here ever heard it, say at youth camp?
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After "Jesus Saves America", a rip roaring action fair where the kung-fu King of Kings stops the socialists from conquering the new promised land, comes the Sequels.
"Jesus vs Krishna". The non-battle of the centuries, as these two peaceful potentates get their love on, and come out swinging.
"Jesus VS The Veiled Prophet." Now Mohamed never promised to be reborn, and we couldn't film him anyway, as that would be violently sacrilegious. However, there is a follower of Mohamed's that promised to return, and bring out a big can of whoop-a to the heathen west.
"Jesus VS Chuck Norris" because, well, you wanted to see the ultimate showdown.
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??? While admittedly most of the armadillos I've seen have been roadkill, armadillos are so unobtrusive I don't get the scary factor. If you come up to one, it'll most likely hide in its shell or run away. Just don't pet it and you should be okay on the leprosy front.
Did you read the other thread? About the stuffed one my dad had, how I was terrified of it, and my brother would trick me into coming unexpectedly face to face with it every few months?
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quote:Originally posted by Ron Lambert: That "Tail-e-po" thing is an allusion to an old American folk tale, the kind told around campfires at night. Has anyone else here ever heard it, say at youth camp?
There was a retelling of it we used to check out from the library as kids and it's become a family byword-- and still gives me the shivers! "Tail-e-po, Tail-e-po, give me back my Tail-e-po!" AAAAAH! Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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