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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » New baby thread

   
Author Topic: New baby thread
RivalOfTheRose
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Those of you who have had children, when did you let them sleep in their own crib in their own room?

Right away, or did you keep the baby in your own room for a few weeks/months?

Thanks for any input!

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TomDavidson
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We co-slept for the first few months with each of ours, but they also always had cribs. So they were placed in their crib at naptime, but slept with us at night for a while (and often some time thereafter, even after they had mostly transitioned out.)
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advice for robots
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We've never, as a rule, let our kids sleep in our bed with us. We have a bassinet for their first couple of months (in their room or in the family room downstairs), and then we transition them to their crib in their room. We do also discourage our kids from trying to sleep in our bed once they are able to get out of their own beds.

My wife is not able to breastfeed, so there has been little reason to keep the baby within reach all night. And having our bed (and bedroom) to ourselves has been a great guardian of sanity for us.

I know that's not everyone's philosophy and practice, and that's fine, but it has worked well for us.

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RivalOfTheRose
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I originally meant in a bassinet, not in the bed, ftiw.
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
We've never, as a rule, let our kids sleep in our bed with us. We have a bassinet for their first couple of months (in their room or in the family room downstairs), and then we transition them to their crib in their room. We do also discourage our kids from trying to sleep in our bed once they are able to get out of their own beds.

We did the same thing (except with a cradle, rather than a bassinet), and I breastfed all three of my kids.
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Swampjedi
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I can tell you what we're planning to do - move our 3 month old son to his crib in his room at 5-6 months. He was in an attached cosleeper for a while in our room, now in a cradle in our room.

The AAP recommends keeping the baby in your room (though of course, not in your bed) for the first six months, if I'm not mistaken. No source on that, just vaguely remembering my wife (a pediatrician) saying so.

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scholarette
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Our initial plan as to sleep with baby in bassinet for about 6 months and then move baby to crib. We ended up putting a little baby sleeper thing in our bed and then moving her from there to bassinet after a few months. At 6 months, we went on a trip and when we came back, we put her in crib and it worked fine. With the second baby, she was breastfeeding every 2 hours and super clingy and had colic. So, I fell asleep sometimes while she was feeding. And then she preferred that and fussed anytime I put her down. Eventually she just sorta grew out of it.
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vegimo
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We kept each of the babies in a bassinet in our room until they stopped waking every 2 to 3 hours. For the premie twins, this meant they were in our room for about six weeks. For the youngest it was nearly double that. I know that seems backwards, but it just depends on the child. As soon as they were sleeping longer we put them in their own room in a crib.

We also started feeding them rice cereal, bananas, and garlic much sooner than most people advise, but that is a different story.

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Stone_Wolf_
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Both our children slept in a bassinet/co slept with is while nursing. We would get them to sleep and then put them in the bassinet, and when they woke for feeding time I'd go fetch the child and my wife would nurse until all were sleeping again. The boy went to his own room at about 6 months, the girl at about 5.
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Shayana
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We have co-slept with all of our children until they were about 2 years old (although that varied, depending on their maturity level and the birth of the next child).

I consider myself a fairly experienced mother, having four healthy and happy children, ages 8 to 15. The biggest lesson I've learned is that you have to do what is right for YOU and your family, regardless of what anyone else (including your doctor) tells you. Baby advice goes through so many fads and pediatrician recommendations change dramatically every few years (e.g. baby's sleeping position). It's much better to do your research and then rely on your own feelings.

One thing about co-sleeping: The large majority of the world's population have family beds. If it's okay for the rest of the world, and it's what you want, then go for it [Smile]

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Swampjedi
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quote:
Originally posted by Shayana:
Baby advice goes through so many fads and pediatrician recommendations change dramatically every few years (e.g. baby's sleeping position). It's much better to do your research and then rely on your own feelings.


In general, this is a pretty dangerous thing to advocate. Doctors aren't all-knowing - but it's usually a good idea to listen to them, or be prepared for the consequences.
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MrSquicky
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I was wondering if people had any recommendation for baby books. That is, books that tell parents what going on with the baby's development and recommendations on...stuff. It's a saturated market out there and it can be hard to pick the good resources.
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RivalOfTheRose
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"What to expect when you're expecting"

It seems modern and up-to-date, my wife and I both enjoy the book. Seems to give sound medical advice in a friendly way. I think different editions have been around forever too.

Again, thanks for everyone who chimed in!

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MrSquicky
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I've been very disappointed with that book, but that's not really relevant. I'm not concerned about the pregnancy. It's the after that I'm looking for coverage on. I realize I know very little about development in the first couple of years.
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RivalOfTheRose
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Just curious what don't you like?
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Stone_Wolf_
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We have a shelf full of baby books, but never use them, any problem comes up we hit google. Sad but true.
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MrSquicky
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quote:
Originally posted by RivalOfTheRose:
Just curious what don't you like?

It was full of extraneous information, written in a fear oriented and condescending way, and advocated things that have no medical basis. In a couple of areas (nutrition is the one that springs to mind) the information was very basic.
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dkw
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Dr Sears' The Baby Book.
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Troubadour
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My little boy is nearly 17 months and has slept in our room, first in his crib, then the cot and his bed until recently.

My wife is expecting our second and he and I currently sleep in one bed in a separate room to allow her more solid sleep. When he wakes up of a morning, he wanders into her so I get so sleep a little longer.

In many ways he's a super-independent kid. He just doesn't like to sleep alone. I can live with that.

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AchillesHeel
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quote:
Originally posted by Stone_Wolf_:
We have a shelf full of baby books, but never use them, any problem comes up we hit google. Sad but true.

At least with the internet you compare, analyze and contrast information from professional sources (so long as you don't rely on yahoo questions and answers) where with a book or personal library you are only learning from a single source. As others have stated, the science of child raising is changing all the time and a book written in 1997 by a biased doctor can easily be a worse source than google.
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Bokonon
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We had a cradle in our room for 4 months, and then moved ours to his own room and crib.
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Belle
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My kids have always slept in cribs in their own room, right down the hall from us. A baby monitor alerted me if they woke and cried. The twins were in the same crib until they started rolling over in the night and waking each other up, then their cribs were next to each other and arranged so they could see each other easily.

When Daniel was old enough to climb out of his crib he would climb from his in to Abigail's so they could snuggle and play together. [Smile]

Looking at them fight and argue now at age 11 that seems so long ago....

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by MrSquicky:
I was wondering if people had any recommendation for baby books. That is, books that tell parents what going on with the baby's development and recommendations on...stuff. It's a saturated market out there and it can be hard to pick the good resources.

I like The Portable Pediatrician.

I was a big Dr. Sears fan until he started giving credence to the anti-vaccine camp. I am far less willing to take his advice on anything now. [Frown]

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dkw
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Yeah, that bothers me too. I hope that, since he mostly advocates delaying and spacing, that what he's trying to do is actually increase the vaccination rate by encouraging parents who otherwise wouldn't have vaccinated at all to do it on a longer schedule. But that might be a vain hope. The Baby Book is still the most useful and consulted book of the many we bought/borrowed, though. And last I checked Portable Pediatrician was out of print.
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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by dkw:
And last I checked Portable Pediatrician was out of print.

That sucks!

Ok, I have a copy in less-than-stellar-but-usable condition, and I'm happy to send to anyone who pays for postage.

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DDDaysh
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My son had a crib. Unless you count the times we put the carseat into the crib or used it as a changing table (you know, back before adjustable rails were known death traps) he probably only used it a dozen times or so. He couldn't sleep flat due to breathing issues, so he mostly colept (on top of me)or slept in his carseat.
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Liz B
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My kid didn't use his crib in his own room until 18 months. (We had a travel crib in our room for a long time, then he slept with us for a while so I could SLEEP.) His room was basically an enormous closet.

We made up for it by using his crib till he was 4. [Wink]

I say whatever maximizes sleep for the family works (as long as the kiddo is sleeping safely of course).

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Stone_Wolf_
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[rant]Nothing against Liz, but the phrase "my kid" just makes my spine convulse, like ones child, ones son or daughter is a dog or a car or fashion accessory. I simply hate that phrase. [/rant]

Please ignore above and continue discussing cribs and baby books.

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BlackBlade
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Stone_Wolf:
quote:
Originally posted by Stone_Wolf_:
[rant]Nothing against Liz, but the phrase "my kid" just makes my spine convulse, like ones child, ones son or daughter is a dog or a car or fashion accessory. I simply hate that phrase. [/rant]

Please ignore above and continue discussing cribs and baby books.

Could be an English language thing. In Chinese the character 的 designates ownership like my, mine, his, hers, ours, etc. But it also designates when something is being given an attribute. so 紅的 (red) 美國的 (American) 甜的 (sugary).

Even the phrase "好的 好的" mean "Fine fine" you are essentially ascribing the trait that belongs to the noun.

I don't know if that helps at all, but when I hear "My kid" I don't think of possession, I think of the person letting me know that kid has a specific attribute, them.

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by Stone_Wolf_:
[rant]Nothing against Liz, but the phrase "my kid" just makes my spine convulse, like ones child, ones son or daughter is a dog or a car or fashion accessory. I simply hate that phrase. [/rant]

How do you feel about "my best friend", "my mom", "my grandma" and "my husband/wife/SO"?
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Stone_Wolf_
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BB: Interesting!

rivka: I'm fine with all of those, heck I'm fine with "my son" or "my daughter", there is just something impersonal and objecty about "my kid". When someone says "my baby" or "my toddler" or "my child" it doesn't set off any twinges, so likely it is just an abnormality in my brain.

On the other hand, look for the phrase "my kid" and you might notice that it appears a lot (not always, but a lot) with indifferent parents, for example: "I can't go out drinking to night, *sigh*, I have to watch my kid."

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BlackBlade
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Oh also, we didn't co-sleep with our son at all. He went from bassinet, to crib, and whenever he has a hard time we rub his back until he goes to sleep, or if it's really bad we'll hold him until he falls back asleep and put him back in the crib.

We expect when he is big enough to get out of bed he can sleep next to the bed if he has a bad dream, or if it's *really* bad then he can sleep with us once in a VERY long while.

[ February 02, 2012, 08:39 PM: Message edited by: BlackBlade ]

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by Stone_Wolf_:
On the other hand, look for the phrase "my kid" and you might notice that it appears a lot (not always, but a lot) with indifferent parents, for example: "I can't go out drinking to night, *sigh*, I have to watch my kid."

I call selection bias. I think you are just as likely to hear "My kid got into Harvard!" and "My kid did so well on her SATs!"
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Liz B
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Crap! My post was lost!! Rest assured, it was brilliant.

Let me sum up:

"Kid" absolutely is deliberately casual. It's not quite deprecating, but it's informal much in the way Japanese has different terms for family members for use outside the family. "My kid is sick" is much different from "My son is sick" and I use them in very different situations. It lets people know how much to worry.

We see this just as much in rivka's example above. The informal, casual "kid" lets you brag a little bit about your offspring without sounding so stuck up. Or tell stories without you sounding quite so obsessed with the child you're raising. (Which of course you are. Obsessed, I mean.)

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rivka
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quote:
Originally posted by Liz B:
Crap! My post was lost!! Rest assured, it was brilliant.

If your browser is Firefox or Chrome, you want the Lazarus extension.

If your browser is not Firefox or Chrome, you want to change browsers. [Wink]

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