Friday the 13ths is my birthday, and I am turning 48. If someone doesn't deliver my Mid-Life Crisis soon I'm going to do it myself.
And hey, these things are hard to do.
I don't have the money to buy a sports car.
I don't have the energy to get a floozy half my age. (Yeah, that's why I haven't seduced a pretty young thing. Energy, not poor balding overweight married dude. How can I keep the women back? Its my lack of energy.)
I can't go crazy. Nobody would notice a difference. (Honestly. I spent last weekend creating a new magic routine involving finger-puppets. I walked around talking to bits of plastic on my fingers, claiming they were appearing and disappearing. Crazy? Who could tell?)
I can't go climb a mountain. I live in Missouri. Our mountains --the Ozarks--are hills trying to escape Arkansas.
I can't get into a fight. My health insurance won't let me. Besides, I'm allergic to pain. It hurts.
I've got it - take up skateboarding. Now you might think that involves energy, and you'd be right. If there wasn't a seat attached to the skateboard! And also grab a pole so that if you stop moving you can shove off of something to get some more momentum.
Chicks love skateboarders, it technically counts as a new ride, it would certainly increase your crazy cred, and you could provoke some fights with normal skateboarders and then fend them off with your pole. And should you come across a hill/mountain... well, I think imagination serves better than words.
Yup. This is my gift to you. Well, the idea is the gift. Build one yourself.
Posts: 2826 | Registered: Jul 2005
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It sounds like for a true midlife crisis, you are going to have to de-crazify. Yes, that's right. Rebel against those insane ways of your younger middle years by embracing staidness and conformity. Shock one and all with your conservative utterances.
Quarter life crises perhaps? I'm about to have one next February when I get out of school again. Nothing for it, just gotta dive in an freak out.
Posts: 9728 | Registered: Nov 2005
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