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Author Topic: What's the craziest conspiracy theory you've heard?
Jeff C.
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Over the years, I've had the pleasure of meeting a wide assortment of people, many of which have their own twist on a popular, generally unquestioned belief. Most of the time these guys have very little evidence to support their assertions, or they're grabbing at straws, as it were, or they perhaps heard something they thought sounded nice and decided it was true without ever researching it themselves. Regardless, I always get a chuckle from them when I hear them, and sometimes I just get freaked out.

Here are some of my favorites (mind you, many of these have several versions):

-Dinosaurs aren't real because they're not in the Bible

-Dinosaur bones were created from other animals because museums wanted money

-There are only really about 30 different dinosaurs. The rest are just made up.

-Dinosaurs ARE in the Bible. Job, specifically. This therefore proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that all those fossils aren't actually as old as people think.

-The moon landing wasn't real because there was wind in the pictures

-The moon landing was faked (obviously) because there's really a gas cloud around the moon that would prevent us from going there

-Hell is a real and physical place. I once heard about how some scientists in Antarctica were digging and heart screams coming from inside the Earth. It proves it!

-The shadow government is slowly reshaping America into being a Socialist empire in the first step of a master plan to take over the world. Obamacare is proof and the democrats are in on it.

-Lincoln was a tyrant and was actually a very evil human being.

-9/11 was an inside job

-Dinosaurs never had feathers and aren't related to birds at all. No, really, they disproved that stupid notion in the 90s!

-George Bush and Bush Jr only got paid 1 dollar a year because they didn't agree with the Presidential salary. Unlike Obama, who is obviously evil.


I could go on, but these were the best ones I could think of. Each one of these was told to me with complete seriousness at the time (some of which were recent). I don't know if any of you buy into this stuff, but I personally find it all to be a bit hard to swallow.

Anyway, what insane theories have you guys heard from real people in your lives?

Crazy person bonus round:

-The Earth is really flat.

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Marlozhan
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-The moon landing didn't happen because if you compare pictures, which the astronauts took while on the moon, with pictures of this desert in the southwest, they are identical, proving that they filmed the moon landing here on earth.

-The earth was made by literally combining chunks of other planets and putting them together, kind of like gluing together pieces of a broken vase. This explains how there can be dinosaur bones that are millions of years old, yet still exist on an earth that is only 10,000 years old.

-Okay, not conspiracy theory, but couldn't resist: Mormons believe Jesus is going to come the second time by sliding down a rainbow from the sky (no joke, someone thought that)

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Jon Boy
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Baking soda cures cancer, but of course pharmaceutical companies would rather sell you costly treatments, so they suppress any research that proves it and promote bogus research about cancer treatments.

Every recession, depression, war, revolution, and political movement of the last couple hundred years (at least) has been instigated by a network of wealthy banking families who manipulate world events to increase their own wealth and power.

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odouls268
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The atmosphere of the earth was once surrounded by a shell of ice, turning the earth into a giant pressure chamber, which allowed humans to live to the extremely old ages documented in the Bible.

(I am completely serious. This is a cornerstone of the creation story believed to this day by someone I know. He cites the work of Kent Hovind as the scientific basis for this theory.)

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Jon Boy
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quote:
Originally posted by odouls268:
The atmosphere of the earth was once surrounded by a shell of ice, turning the earth into a giant pressure chamber, which allowed humans to live to the extremely old ages documented in the Bible.

This is all wrong. It was a layer of liquid water, not ice (though don't ask me how it stayed up there), and it made people live longer by blocking gamma rays. Then, all that water came down during the flood (though don't ask me where it went), which is why people start living normal life spans after that.
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Marlozhan
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:
Originally posted by odouls268:
The atmosphere of the earth was once surrounded by a shell of ice, turning the earth into a giant pressure chamber, which allowed humans to live to the extremely old ages documented in the Bible.

This is all wrong. It was a layer of liquid water, not ice (though don't ask me how it stayed up there), and it made people live longer by blocking gamma rays. Then, all that water came down during the flood (though don't ask me where it went), which is why people start living normal life spans after that.
Years ago I went to a presentation just for kicks and I heard this same theory, lol.
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Samprimary
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The pineal gland is known by many spiritual experts, including Paramahansa Yogananda, to be the Interface between the spiritual and physical Planes through its production of Spirit Molecule and through the chakranic node that connects us to our non-materialistic higher selves. Flouride is a poison that has been introduced to our water system by the current system's ruling oligarchs in order to ensure that it calcified our pineal glands and prevented our transition of 2012 (the end of the mayan calendar and the beginning of the fifth sun age) to a spiritually aware and harmonious non-capitalistic existence.

Fluoride was necessary for the processing or enriching of uranium. The pro-fluoride propaganda was started during the Manhattan Project to create the first atom bombs in the 1940's. The spin was to convince workers and locals where the largest nuclear plant was located in Tennessee that fluoride was not only safe, it was good for kids' dental health.

The real purpose was to keep us shackled away from our spiritual centers and chained to a materialistic system.

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Sean Monahan
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Some hare krishnas believe the moon is much more massive and much further away than the sun. They have a bizarre way of explaining eclipses.
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Geraine
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Most of the crazy conspiracy theories I've heard involve the Illuminati and how they wanted to detonate thousands of nuclear devices on Jupiter. This would in turn ignite Jupiter and create a second sun. George Bush was supposed to do this but it got delayed. Bill Clinton was supposed to do this is as well, but it was delayed again. The reasoning? People were onto them!!!

I forgot the reason that was given for wanting to ignite Jupiter, but it somehow played into a bid to unite all governments on the earth into one.

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Samprimary
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1. Launch nukes at Jupiter
2. Jupiter becomes a second sun because of thermodynamics or something
3. ???
4. Profit!

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Darth_Mauve
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The JFK Assassination was an elaborate Suicide involving a blackmailing Hoover, time travel, and the space ship Red Dwarf.
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Aros
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quote:
Originally posted by Darth_Mauve:
The JFK Assassination was an elaborate Suicide involving a blackmailing Hoover, time travel, and the space ship Red Dwarf.

The ship was actually not involved. It did, however, involve the former crew of the Red Dwarf.

Jupiter Mining Corporation ship Red Dwarf had been lost for some time in a laundry hamper. The crew were on foot, having traveled back in time from Starbug, their vessel at the time.

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narrativium
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quote:
Originally posted by Jon Boy:
Every recession, depression, war, revolution, and political movement of the last couple hundred years (at least) has been instigated by a network of wealthy banking families who manipulate world events to increase their own wealth and power.

Usually, in this scenario, the perpetrators are evil Jews. You'd think we would have found some way to prevent centuries of persecution and attempted genocide, were that the case.
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Aros
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- Vaccines cause autism (or death), but this is covered up by the medical companies.
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Wingracer
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For the music theorists out there, check out some of the crazy stuff about 432hz tuning. Apparently, A=440hz is a vast conspiracy.

"There is a theory that the change from 432 Hz to 440 Hz was dictated by Nazi propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbels. He used it to make people think and feel a certain manner, and to make them a prisoner of a certain consciousness. Then around 1940 the United States introduced 440 Hz worldwide, and finally in 1953 it became the ISO 16-standard."

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Jeff C.
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-The flouride in tap water is used to keep the population complacent

-Airplane chem trails

-Roswell aliens

-Lizard people have taken over the bodies of political figures and are controlling our world through deception

And here's a great list of some of the craziest and how many people believe this

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Heisenberg
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There's this story people believe that in a
Jewish land long ago a woman got pregnant. The woman's husband hadn't had sex with her, so she was in a bit of a bind, but then she told him that it was God who had impregnated her, and he believed it so it was all good. Yeah. Yeah, I know, but it was a different time, don't judge the guy. Okay, neither would I, but maybe don't judge him TOO harshly?

So anyway, the parents and people they talked to thought that this kid was the son of God. They taught him that he was the son of God, too, and CPS wasn't invented back then yet so nobody stepped in to help the poor boy out. He grew up, supposedly did all sorts of miracles, spent his time telling everyone how much he loved them and they'd better love him back just as much or he'd burn them alive for all eternity. Nah, they didn't have domestic abuse PSAs and charities back then, either.

Anyway, he pissed off the priests so they had the local police nail him to a cross. (And you thought blue laws were bad.) But, here's the best part - three days after he died, he came back to life. He came back and talked to all his buddies, but only the ones who really really wanted to believe were able to see and hear him. Then after a few weeks he went to the top of a hill and flew off to heaven. No, I don't know if he did the Superman one fist extended thing when he flew away, it didn't say.

So his buddies all sat around being sad about their mangod friend being gone for a couple decades, and then this Roman named Saul came on down and heard about the new religion in town. He thought the meek and mild business would be pretty sweet for keeping people under control, so he threw in a bit about giving unto Caesar and told the apostles to piss off, he could handle things from here.

People believe that this story is how you get to live forever (and also not be tortured forever, which btw is default mode. Sorry.) They believe it so much that they'll kill each other for little things like whether the guy with the biggest hat is really in charge of all the church or words like "of the Son" getting added into creeds, just to PROVE how much other beliefs besides the One True Belief make you NOT life forever.

This is the craziest conspiracy theory I've ever heard.

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Jeff C.
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Heisenberg be trollin the christians, yo
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Heisenberg
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I don't think that word means what you think it means.
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Wingracer
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Which word, "Heisenberg" or "yo"? [Big Grin]
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Brian J. Hill
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Actually, "christians" is not what you think it means...
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Jeff C.
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Yo dawg, don't be hatin on da homies, Heisenberg
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happymann
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What defines a "conspiracy"?
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Samprimary
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a conspiracy is when people are 'educated stupid' such that they cannot comprehend that time is simultaneous four-day creation.
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advice for robots
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I don't see how some of these are conspiracy theories.
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happymann
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I thought conspiracies mostly centered around big unknown entities/corporations/etc. controlling the 'educated stupid' referenced.

Some of these rank closer to believed delusions or some such, unless you add some "puppet master" into the equation.

That's all that I mean when I asked to define "conspiracy."

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Aros
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quote:
Originally posted by happymann:
I thought conspiracies mostly centered around big unknown entities/corporations/etc. controlling the 'educated stupid' referenced.

Some of these rank closer to believed delusions or some such, unless you add some "puppet master" into the equation.

That's all that I mean when I asked to define "conspiracy."

I think that you're just trying to keep us from asking questions. WHY DON'T YOU WANT US TO ASK QUESTIONS?!?!?!

<dons tin-foil hat>

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Itsame
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My sister believes many conspiracy theories. Those relating to every disaster in the past decade. One of the ones she believes, however, is more interesting. Obama is in with the illuminati, who are run secretly by the devil. They are plotting the rise of the anti-christ, and they have already begun putting people in secret death camps in the United States. The plans started with Katrina. "Relocation centers".

I get lots of emails warning me of impending doom, telling me to invest in gold and the like.

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TomDavidson
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If the antichrist is coming in our lifetime, what use will gold be?
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MattP
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It is my understanding that he doesn't take credit cards.
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Jeff C.
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quote:
Originally posted by JonHecht:
My sister believes many conspiracy theories. Those relating to every disaster in the past decade. One of the ones she believes, however, is more interesting. Obama is in with the illuminati, who are run secretly by the devil. They are plotting the rise of the anti-christ, and they have already begun putting people in secret death camps in the United States. The plans started with Katrina. "Relocation centers".

I get lots of emails warning me of impending doom, telling me to invest in gold and the like.

I bet your sister is super fun at parties.
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Aros
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quote:
Originally posted by JonHecht:

I get lots of emails warning me of impending doom, telling me to invest in gold and the like.

I'm fairly certain that the doomsday crowd is driving up the price of gold. Hawkers cry that it's a good investment, the paranoid start buying, demand increases, prices go up, people get more paranoid, lather, rinse, repeat.

It's a bubble, really. I wonder when it'll crash? Maybe it'll just peter out over time, as inflation overtakes value. Hmm. . . that would mean long term stability of gold. I guess we've never seen that before.

ILLUMINATI!!!!!

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Samprimary
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yeah because if the entire economy crashes, you want hunks of inert metal as opposed to canned food, gasoline, batteries, and water.
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Wingracer
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
yeah because if the entire economy crashes, you want hunks of inert metal as opposed to canned food, gasoline, batteries, and water.

Economic collapse (or more likely depression or recession) is not a collapse of civilization.

Let's look at the worst collapse we have seen in the US, the great depression. If you invested $10k on the DJIA in Oct. 1929, it would be worth just a bit over 3k in 1935. However, 10k in gold at the same time would be worth over 62k. Civilization still existed so you would have no trouble selling that gold for far more than you payed for it and could buy all the food, water, shelter, etc. that you needed.

Now if all of civilization ever collapses (zombie apocalypse) then yes, gold will be almost (but not quite) worthless.

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Jon Boy
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quote:
Originally posted by advice for robots:
I don't see how some of these are conspiracy theories.

That's just what they want you to think!
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Samprimary
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quote:
Originally posted by Wingracer:
quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
yeah because if the entire economy crashes, you want hunks of inert metal as opposed to canned food, gasoline, batteries, and water.

Economic collapse (or more likely depression or recession) is not a collapse of civilization.
if the entire economy collapses, you're not talking about a 'depression' or a 'recession' — you're talking about the impending struggle to avoid being one of the millions of inevitable victims of famine.
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Wingracer
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quote:
Originally posted by Samprimary:
if the entire economy collapses, you're not talking about a 'depression' or a 'recession' — you're talking about the impending struggle to avoid being one of the millions of inevitable victims of famine.

Of course but unless something like a zombie apocalypse comes our way, what are the chances of that? I bet even during the famine in Ethiopia, someone with a couple pounds of gold would have been just fine.

We are a pretty global economy now. I don't see any way short of a major global catastrophe (alien invasion, big freakin asteroid, zombies, etc.) to destroy the entire world economy. Even if the entire US government shut down, the dollar became worthless and anarchy reigned there would still be people and governments somewhere with resources and a desire to trade. As long as there is trade, gold will have value.

If you actually believe that sort of global collapse is likely in your lifetime then yes, food and guns are the most valuable commodities you could have.

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Kwea
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Empire.
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The Black Pearl
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU22QEclVQo&feature=player_detailpage#t=41
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