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As I consider taking my writing from a mere hobby, to a hobby that might occasional garner a little bit of money, I wonder what other people do to buffer their egos against constant rejection.
I know realistically there will be more "no"s than "yes"s. I say at this second that I'm prepared. Yet I know that the reality is that it might wear on me.
posted
The only advice I have is belief. Believe you have something worth offering, take every criticism and turn it to your advantage. We grow through pain... so grow, improve, and show the world what you can offer.
Posts: 575 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Is it really possible to turn every rejection to your advantage? From what I understand, many editors will give solid feedback; however, others send form letters that give nothing concrete as to why the piece is being rejected. Michelle
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The way I look at is this: You've already spent so much time and energy to write the story, that part is done. By sending it out you stand to lose nothing. It might sting a little bit at first to get the letters back, but I garauntee you that will pass. Sending your pieces out will become as automatic and compulsory as writing them. Good luck.
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Standard rejection letters are not criticism, they are merely someone saying they don't want to buy your story. Think of it as being a salesman. You don't need everyone to buy it, just one. And just because someone doesn't want it, that doesn't mean it is rubbish. It all depends on their needs.
Now the non-standard ones are more interesting. It means you have gained their interest, but they still didn't want your story. So those you really have to sort out.
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I don't have big pile of rejections yet, but I expect I will. It's just no big deal to me. I get a rejection, and then just send the story out to the next market I've identified as a possiblity for that story, and never think of it again.
It happens. Everyone gets rejections. One author I know says that most of her stories, even ones that have gone on to win Hugos (or was it Nebulas? I forget) bounce around four or five times before they get a publisher. I read somewhere else that a rejection-acceptance ratio of 12:1 is fairly normal.
So much of it is the editor's personal taste and inventory and has nothing to do with you at all; it's not worth getting filled with despair about.
One thing to think about: if you were the editor of a magazine, which of the stories you read would you publish? I bet you read a lot of stories, some of which are very well-written, that you wouldn't publish yourself, just because they're not quite to your taste.
The main thing is to just keep going. When you get a rejection, send the story out again. And keep writing new stories while you're waiting. Eventually, it will pay off.
Always have a second story or novel in hand while the first is looking for a home. Thus, when the inevitable rejections roll in, you don't feel that it's your one and only child being killed. There's another one.
Other than that... clench you teeth, learn fortitude, and stock up on chocolate and ice cream.
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I'm already keeping Ghirardelli Chocolates in business.
I understand that most publishers don't want you sending your work to multiple places at one. (The same piece to multiple sources.) How long before I move on to the next name? 2 months? More?
When seeking an agent I understand that you can submit to more than one at once. Is that right? Michelle
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The best buffer against a bruised ego is to simply grow a thick skin. Or a high degree of professional detatchment. They both mean pretty much the same thing.
As has been discussed in a previous thread, one of the reasons why so many new people come and go is the fact that it's also very difficult to have your story critiqued in public. For a very novice writer, it's probably harder to suffer through a public critique than to get a semi-annonymous rejection letter.
But in either case, the best way to cope is to cultivate a sense of professional detatchment. Don't take it personally when you get rejected.
(Yeah, it's a bit hypocritical for me so say this, seeing as how I've submitted nothing to the F&F forum in the last five months...but hopefully I'll have something soon.)
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I absolutely agree with Corpsegrinder. Thick skin and professional detachment. In other words, you realize that your writing isn't you, and criticism of it isn't personal. And to the extent that the criticism is personal, it's just someone's opinion. Dust and air. (For more on stoicism, see the much-underrated writings of Marcus Aurelius).
If you want to develop thick enough skin in a hurry (as well as getting a crash course grammar, style, and organization) I highly recommend law school. You'll develop a hide to put rhinos to shame in three short (in manner of speaking) years.
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The submission guidelines will tell you whether they allow sim subs or not (submitting to more than one place at a time). A lot of places do allow it. If a place says no sim, then don't.
The submission guidelines will also (usually) tell you their typical response time. Many will tell you at what point you should ping them to see if they lost your story or something.
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and initial queries to agents, yeah, you can do a bunch. It is my understanding that once an agent is interested enough to read the whole manuscript, they'll usually ask to have it exclusively for a specified period of time.
Posts: 1750 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Here's what helped my ego the most. I ran across a web page that said that you have a 98% chance of rejection on an SF submission. I rarely make 50 rejections per story, so I must be doing ok!
But it does get wearisome.
Also, I've only gotten one rejection so far that accused me of sending in the story to spy on the editor.
What did get me was sending a book (Non-fiction) to agents. It's a lot of work to send in a proposal, and it's a lot of work to identify relevant agents, and I've let it slip.
[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited February 22, 2005).]
The process of submitting a story to a publication leaves little room for ego. When an editor rejects your story, it's not personal. It either didn't meet the publication's needs or guidelines at that time, or it wasn't written well enough to satisfy a particular editor (see below for more possibilities). In the former case, resubmit elsewhere, being careful to ensure you meet the guidelines; in the latter case -- if you are lucky enough to get a personalized response -- consider rethinking your approach to the story. In both cases, don't let your ego get in the way -- it is simply business.
Also, ensure your manuscripts, queries, and cover letters are in the proper format. Any deviation from the "norm" will automatically garner a rejection before they even look at your story. Don't try clever tricks or use colored paper or anything silly. Be courteous, professional, and pay attention to detail. The business of publication is indeed a business, and proper business etiquette should be adhered to all times. Editors will sincerely appreciate your attempt at taking their business seriously.
Ego: For aspiring writers, ego should be kept in a strongbox without a key. If a writer wants his/her ego stroked, they should consider doing something altogether different that will allow for this. Thick calloused skin will come easily enough through the critiquing process we employ here on this site. Of course, a critique is essentially an opinion, and all opinions can be ignored fully -- if you choose to do so -- at your own peril, naturally.
The most important thing to consider is: "Never give up; never surrender!"