my first in like... 2 years... is that bad? a 2 yr writers block? hehe anyways, i would like to say that after i was done scribbling it out and read over what i wrote i was like... where did this come from? cuz, i really can't think of any example in my life of this kinda thing, so it just dropped out of the blue... unless it has something to do with all the hikki i've been listening to lately ^^
hikki is a fandom nick for Utada Hikaru, a (among those that listen to it) well known japanese pop artist. She tends to sing a lot of love songs...i'm posting the entire poem, cuz i do not intend to submit it for publication, i just want to hear what people think of it for the first thing i've written upon climbing out of a long and arduous writers block.
i'd also like to hear title ideas, in addition to the standard critique. i probably won't actually use any of your titles as given, but adapt something...
anyways, on to the poem (warning, there is exactly 1 (one) japanese word tucked in the following poem, it SHOULD be obvious from context what it means, but in case it isn't, jump down below the poem and read the note)
I was going along one day,
minding only myself.
You came that day,
to help those that let.
We met, we talked...
seemed we knew each other,
yet never before we met.
The universal law,
nature of the universe.
Opposite-equal...
opposites attract.
The timeless love,
some people are destined.
One day some time ago,
a day past yet still here...
We met, we talked...
though different in many ways,
something just clicked.
You were Nipponjin,
me English to the core.
You a kind, soft heart...
mine hardened with bad past.
Yet when we met that day,
a balance shifted,
time froze yet went on.
The universal law,
nature of the universe.
Opposite-equal...
opposites attract.
The timeless love,
some people are destined.
An interminable instant,
the month in a moment...
I can keep no secret...
when it comes down to it...
i'm hopelessly infatuated.
Note: in case you don't know any japanese and couldn't figure out the context clues, nipponjin is japanese for a japanese person...
so what do you guys think? any good for the first poem in 2 yrs? indeed the first thing i've written excepting a queer fleas thing a short time ago on a site i frequent... (i took and exagerated on the flea problem in my household this year...)
i'm still wondering where the poem came from... cuz, just as most people who write, i have no control of the flow of ideas, i can only adjust the language and structure after the fact...
oh yah, and i'm new here, been a fan of uncle orson for a long time, but i've never bothered looking into the writers workshop area before...
well, i suppose i'll stop rambling now
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