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Author Topic: Hypocrite
Christine
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Ok, ok, it's true. I've written a short story told, at least in part, in <gasp> first person present tense! Why would I do this after telling dozens of people what a bad idea it is? Well, if you want to find out, you'll have to volunteer to read the stoyr. I've actually put my first person account in a frame (the first time I've used that particular device, as a matter of fact). Here's the first 13:

************************************

Professor Matte of South Semnesia City University flew over the heads of his students, his great wings beating furiously as he swooped and soared around the school’s largest auditorium, boldly acting out his history lessons with the help of a few holographic projectors. “…and then King Kastin did what no king had ever done before: He told Delnaea of the Secret Society to leave this planet and never return again.”
Matte shoved at an insubstantial holographic figure and though his hands did not make contact with it, the little alien fell backwards over and over in a mock imitation of real life events. The holographic projectors blinked off then, their recorded simulations complete, and Matte slid gracefully to the floor at the center of the auditorium. Every eye in the room was on him, he noted with satisfaction. He let them consider the recreation for a moment before projecting his thoughts to the room and continuing his prepared lecture.
“King Kastin was the first to stand up against the self-proclaimed ‘Secret Society,’ but he would not be the last. Even his assassination a short time later could not stop the avalanche that begun with his momentous decision.”

*****************************

P.S. If this has the ring of familiarity to any of you, it is because this short story is taken from a scene in a novel that I have floated bits of around here before.

P.P.S. This is a fantasy/scifi mix.

[This message has been edited by Christine (edited November 17, 2004).]


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Keeley
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Interesting. How long is it?
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Christine
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Argh. Keep leaving out details.

It's about 4000 words right now but that may change when I go over it one more time tomorrow before sending it out to any volunteers who want to chance takinga lookt.


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yanos
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I shall volunteer for this evil experiment. Err... I mean I'll critique it sound most intriguing.
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Keeley
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If you don't mind waiting a few days for a review, I'll take a look at it.
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Tess
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I'm too new around here for anything to sound familiar. I'll read this for you, if you don't mind me tearing into it.
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Survivor
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This sounds like fun! I'd like to read it.
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