posted
Another story from a bootcamp index card. Comments and readers. Readers can tell me what genre they think this story fits under.
Cats
The family from Hell was back. The mother and daughter were okay, but the boy was a terror. He could be kept under control if the father was with them, but all John saw coming through the door were the mother, the daughter, and the boy. Trouble, for sure.
John walked up to greet the family. "Welcome to PetLand," he said. "Is there anything I can help you find?" Pleae be here to buy fish food or something else quick.
Edited for typos, but not very well. I inserted another one after I fixed the first one. By the way, if this seems short, I did follow the rules. first 13 lines from my PDA.
[This message has been edited by Spaceman (edited July 15, 2005).]
[This message has been edited by Spaceman (edited July 15, 2005).]
posted
In terms of genre- I could envision anything right now, since nothing but real things so far- so it can go in any direction.
Posts: 23 | Registered: Jul 2005
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It looks like a pretty good opening, for only about five lines. Setting, character, conflict all being introduced right away. I'm hoping that this is humor, but it could easily be horror. I doubt that it'll be SF/Fantasy, since you asked for guesses but didn't even hint at any speculative/fantastic elements yet. It would really surprise me if it managed to be romance, and once again you'd be cheating on your genre guessing game if it is. Western I'll go ahead and discount, along with political intrigue/spy thriller/whatever it's called. Same for mystery/detective fiction and so forth.
posted
Actually, I wasn't asking for guesses based on the short excerpt. Only from those reading the whole manuscript. It would be rather difficult to explain the concept without giving away the whole story since it's only 1000 words anyway.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
I want to make some revisions based on the previous person who read it. I'll send you rev 2 when its ready. Thanks.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2010
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posted
Hey Spaceman. Just got back from vacation. I like the beginning of this - if you need another reader send it my way. New e-mail -- wolf_dude64@yahoo.com
Posts: 266 | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I'm going on vacation tomorrow, or I'd read. I'm hooked, partly because of the title: I want to make sure that if that nasty little boy goes after a cat, he has to have stitches!
Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Hi. I'll read it. Not so sure I'm much good at genre placement though.
One comment I have about this is that you start by saying that the family from hell was back. However, from what I can make out, it's only the kid whose any trouble, not the whole family. I understand the conundrum in explaining this to the reader though, because maybe the POV character see's them all as a complete unit rather than individuals.
posted
I think that he did okay making it clear that it wasn't the boy himself that was the problem, but the dynamic of him being there with his mom and sister and [/i]without[/i] the father. Presumably, he also would have been easily dealt with had he come alone.
Posts: 8322 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
I've been in LA for a few days. I'll try to get teh current revision of Cats out tomorrow to everyone who asked since the last shipment of Cats. Thanks.
Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2010
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By the way, if this seems short, I did follow the rules. first 13 lines from my PDA.
