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Hey, everybody. I don't think I've ever requested readers for a completed short story before, so this happens to be a first for me. Not to mention a treat for you. That's a given.
Anyway, all joking aside, I wrote this story back in March for an English Communications course. The assignment was to recreate the popular fairy tale of Cinderella as we saw fit, incorporating various aspects of the many versions out there (I felt like I had to explain this a little before stating the story's genre). I suppose you could call it a modern comedic fantasy, or a modern comedic fairy tale (the choice is yours). In either case, it's pretty light reading. Those who are more serious readers (like myself) are hereby officially warned. MSWord puts the word count at 3,858...in 13.1 double-spaced pages. My professor loved it (I got an A+...which nearly gave me a heart attack, since that particular professor didn't usually give me As). I'm not sure if my professor's approval is a good thing or a bad thing. That bothers me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story. I may consider submitting it somewhere...after you've read it perhaps you could give me a few suggestions as to the best place to send it? For those who aren't interested in reading the whole thing: please feel free to comment on the intro.
--------------------------------------------- "A Fairy's Tale"
Max manifested a telescope from thin air and grimaced when the image finally came into focus. His new assignment was busily cleaning a high-rise window across the street, oblivious to the noise and organized chaos of the city below. That would not have been surprising, since every ‘Cinderella’ was usually engaged in menial labor when her ‘godmother’ made contact. However, Max’s Cinderella happened to be scrubbing the interior of the glass with furniture polish, smearing the inappropriate cleaning solution all over the windowpane. That error, when accompanied by the other observations he had made over the past few hours, generated a distinct sense of concern in Max’s mind. The first dumb thing he had seen her do could have been chalked up to ignorance; the second, to negligence. But this mistake, well into the forty-something range of his list, bordered on sheer stupidity.
“Not too bright,” he muttered to himself as the girl proceeded to wipe off the useless polish with a roll’s worth of paper towels. “Not too bright at all.” He swore under his breath, cursing the Fairy Council, his grandmother, and life in general. The first two woes almost amounted to the same thing. Grandmother would give him an idiot to spoon-feed, and with so much at stake. He had known the odds were going to be stacked against him, though he had not expected them to be stacked quite this high. ---------------------------------------------
Please let me know your preferred document format, as well as any e-mail title specifics (to bypass your spam-blocking software).
Inkwell ----------------- "The difference between a writer and someone who says they want to write is merely the width of a postage stamp." -Anonymous
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I liked it, but I don't think I could help you in finding somewhere to submit it. I'm sort of a novice in that field, but it was a good intro.
Posts: 162 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Oh, heck, I'll give it a go. I don't have a lot of time this week, but it was good enough to hook me and make me want to read more.
Posts: 2026 | Registered: Mar 2005
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It cracks me up. Could use a little tightening and polishing but it's a pretty engaging beginning. I'm kind of swamped right now, or I'd volunteer to read. I like Cinderella being an idiot; that's a good twist.
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I'd love to read it. Send it my way. As for who to submit it too, well, I've yet to sumbit anything myself but I bet SF&F Mag may be a good start. It is close to there alley but maybe a Mag with more Fantasy elements may be another choice. But just getting it off the shelf and into potential publishers hands is always a good choice. I love the idiot cinderella and the male godmother thing worked for martin short didn't it?
Posts: 11 | Registered: Aug 2005
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^^^ Done. And yes, I'm still looking for readers. I like to get as encompassing a cross-section as possible, as far as writing preferences are concerned.
Inkwell ----------------- "The difference between a writer and someone who says they want to write is merely the width of a postage stamp." -Anonymous
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From the opening, I'd say that your professor was right to approve and you shouldn't be suspicious of it. He probably just doesn't like "heavy" stories.
I had a little bit of a disjuncture when you mentioned that Max had been watching this girl long enough to see her do forty-odd stupid things, since your beginning clearly indicates that he is only beginning his observation of her. I think that you would also have done well to specify the first and second actions, both for our amusment and edification
Other than that, the language and tone of the story seem very promising, and in keeping with the description of your story. Choosing to tell the story of the fairy (and naming him Max, which could go in several promising directions, only a few of which are cliche) is an instant hook, and the wordcrafting fully supports it.
I'd be happy to read it, though I might be busy tomorrow. Remember that I've recently changed my email.
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This one looks fun! I'll give it a go as long as you don't mind getting it back until Monday or so. Word doc form is fine.
Posts: 811 | Registered: Jan 2005
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I think I'm just about ready to close up shop as far as taking more readers is concerned. Thanks for the great response, guys...it's more than appreciated.
Carlene, I'll send you the manuscript as soon as I get ahold of my laptop (where it's saved). In other words, tomorrow. Thanks again to all those who've responded so far, and to those who have yet to comment. I'll probably inquire officially about where you think it should be submitted (in other words, where it has the best chance of being accepted) after I've edited the thing and polished off the rough edges.
Inkwell ------------------ "The difference between a writer and someone who says they want to write is merely the width of a postage stamp." -Anonymous
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I might mention I critiqued Inkwell's story, and it rocked. I'm excited for him. I predict it will sell. It was a fun read!
Posts: 2026 | Registered: Mar 2005
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