Before him stoood an enormous wooden crate. What was in it, he hadn't the foggiest. He had an ominous feeling it was from somewhere he did not like, nor know about, nor want to know about.
His wife had told him to think nothing of it, but he was always right about these things. This led him to commonly say, he 'saved the day'. He had recieved it a week ago,and been reluctant to open it.
Picking up a crow bar, he slammed it into the crate with mighty force and began to pry it open. Nails flew from it,and wood chips began to litter the floor. he was almost done...
Finally, he pried the last nail out,and a narrow beam of darkness shot through a new hole in the crate. The large piece of wood fell, and for the first time in centuries, the entrance was revealed...

The sentence feels awkward:

quote:

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What was in it, he hadn't the foggiest.

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There's a few more things but I think you lose the hook with the above mistakes. I wouldn't keep reading because the character I'm supposed to care about doesn't have a name.

quote:

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So should I continue it?

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We can't answer this for you. You have to answer the question for yourself.

Before him stoood an enormous wooden crate. What was in it, Kal hadn't a clue. He had an ominous feeling it was from somewhere he did not like, nor know about, nor want to know about.
Kal's wife had told him to think nothing of it, but he was always right about these things. This led him to commonly say, he 'saved the day'. He had recieved it a week ago,and been reluctant to open it.
Picking up a crow bar, he slammed it into the crate with mighty force and began to pry it open. Nails flew from it,and wood chips began to litter the floor. he was almost done...
Finally, Kal pried the last nail out,and a narrow beam of darkness shot through a new hole in the crate. The large piece

[This message has been edited by zetars (edited November 16, 2005).]

Okay, there are a few things wrong with this first sentence. First, you need to use the MC's name right off. Don't use "him" until we know who "him" is. Second, I think you need to put us in Kal's head. Like this:
Kal looked at the Wooden crate. It almost seemed to loom over him (this shows us instead of tells us that it's tall), daring him to open it. What could be inside? Whatever it was, he was fairly sure he didn't want to know. Just standing so close to it made his insides shake (this shows that it makes him feel afraid). His instincts told him death lay inside. And his instincts were usually right.

Now the above example may be cheesy, but it will give you the idea. Try showing us that Kal is aware that the crate holds danger, instead of telling us.

And things like "mighty force" just adds baggage to your sentence. Just saying "slammed" is enough, I think.

And I have trouble picturing a "narrow beam of darkness". I can picture a beam of light, but a "beam of darkness" is a little illusive. So, maybe say something like: "and a sliver of darkness began to swallow the light around him", if the darkness is supposed to be kind of alive. Or "he could already see how deep the darkness was". I don't know exactly what you're trying to say. Sometimes comparing it to something helps describe it. You don't want to use this trick too much or it just feels forced, but an example might be: "Darkness began to descend around him like a shroud of death." That may be overdoing it a bit, but you get the idea.