I am bascially looking for any comment on so I have a good jump from which to get rolling. I would especially love answers regarding what questions this raises and if its interesting....

I realize this starting point is after something climatic has happened, please comment on that from a readers view for me as well.

Thanks so much for reading this

Btw I counted 13 lines in word using 12 point. Hope its right....

Allison opened her eyes, but it was still gone - the garage, the storeroom, the house, all of it. All that remained was a smoking pile of rubbish, jarringly dotted with corpses of creatures she had thought were fragments of a nightmare She had hoped, somehow, that she was dreaming again – that this would simply disappear, like it had each morning for the last year.

Dream had become reality, as she had suspected it might yet hoped it would not. How foolish not to believe Grandpa. Not that it mattered any longer, at least not where they were headed. Allison clenched her jaw in anger, and if she cared to admit it to anyone, in fear.

The creatures had come in the dead of night and had struck fast, faster than Allison had even dreamed they would. She hadn’t been

Note from Kathleen: did you use 1" margins?

In spite of the mechanics, you have hooked me with the dream (nightmare) come true aspect of the story and I'd like to read more. The dilemma I find with "Show versus tell" is that maybe for the beginning its just more efficient to tell a little more than show. It takes longer to show than tell; and sometimes telling in the beginning makes events clear quickly. Hoping not to confuse you, but I find more disagreement over "show VS tell" than any other subject.

Actually, that might be the end of the story.