The manuscript is complete and has gone through several full revisions.

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

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Lieutenant Davis Alexander braced himself as his sleek craft accelerated down the KSCS Calderon's launch rail at maximum thrust. The accelerometer read two gees of acceleration--then two-point-five, three... Four as the sleek craft shot into open space. The familiar crush of momentum and surge of adrenalin never grew old. He grinned like a cadet.

"Lieutenant Alexander, this is Calderon Operations. You have cleared the launch bay," came a voice across his linker. "Transferring flight control to you."

"Acknowledged," Davis replied. "Assuming control now."

Here are some specific things you did well. One, you have clearly identified the point-of-view character. We know his name, and we get a glimpse of his personality. Second, you have established the setting, which from my rusty memory seems slightly reminiscent of Heinlein's Starship Troopers. Third, you introduce the problem or difference in the character's life that will make the story interesting.

To make this opening better you may want to consider revising/shortening some of your longer more wordy sentences. I had to read your first and last sentence twice to catch their meaning.

Tiny nit: he grins like a cadet. You could add, "which he practically was" or "boy, that was a long time ago."

Me and short vs. long sentences... it's a constant struggle. Sometimes the sentences defeat me, but I haven't given up the fight just yet.

Thanks very much for the feedback.

I didn't get any flashes from Starship Troopers, I don't even recall that carrier/fighter operations were mentioned in the book (desperately trying to block movie from memory forever). But yes, maybe a little danger of Wing Commander flashes. I really liked the games, though. So you've got a cliche flag, but it's not one worth avoiding (and probably not one you can avoid for this story).