Hatrack River Writers Workshop   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Fragments and Feedback for Short Works » Big Powwow synopsis

   
Author Topic: Big Powwow synopsis
wbriggs
Member
Member # 2267

 - posted      Profile for wbriggs   Email wbriggs         Edit/Delete Post 
I would like a few readers for the synopsis of my novel, which should go out this week to an agent I pitched to last year. ! I'm especially interested in clarity and if there's a part you think I could cut, but I'll take any help.

Also posted at LH.

==

A particle accelerator experiment at Clarkston State University in Appalachia has an unexpected effect: it sends everything within 62 miles of the reaction chamber back into the 1500's, stranding the city of Clarkston and parts of surrounding counties in the past.

DeRon Wilson, an abused teenager, finds this to be his first-ever chance to get away from his mother.

...

[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 03, 2006).]

[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 06, 2006).]


Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Blackthorne
Member
Member # 2688

 - posted      Profile for Blackthorne           Edit/Delete Post 
It sounds very interesting. I'll give your synopsis a read. Email is Black5nh@hotmail.com

Anyway, I was curious whether you would consider tacking "DeRon Wilson, an abused teenager, finds [omitted words] his first-ever chance to get away from his mother" to the very beginning. This might add some additional humor/enticement to the opener.

[This message has been edited by Blackthorne (edited September 03, 2006).]


Posts: 20 | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Survivor
Member
Member # 213

 - posted      Profile for Survivor   Email Survivor         Edit/Delete Post 
Ugh. The snippet you posted looks like a disaster already, but probably only because it's taken out of context. Should we just go over to LH to get the whole thing?
Posts: 8322 | Registered: Aug 1999  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wbriggs
Member
Member # 2267

 - posted      Profile for wbriggs   Email wbriggs         Edit/Delete Post 
It's available at LH or by email.

[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 04, 2006).]


Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wbriggs
Member
Member # 2267

 - posted      Profile for wbriggs   Email wbriggs         Edit/Delete Post 
I would like to have a couple more readers. I've gotten Survivor's comment and a couple of other commentaries, but not enough yet to see what to do.
Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Green_Writer
Member
Member # 3302

 - posted      Profile for Green_Writer   Email Green_Writer         Edit/Delete Post 
I'll read it if you would allow. I have a good bit of time on my hands today and tomorrow. awpivec@gmail.com

PS: I'm no help with grammar but I may provide valuable reader's insight.

[This message has been edited by Green_Writer (edited September 06, 2006).]


Posts: 67 | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
wbriggs
Member
Member # 2267

 - posted      Profile for wbriggs   Email wbriggs         Edit/Delete Post 
Sent!

OK, Survivor, I have to know: what is it that makes this look disastrous, so far?

[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 06, 2006).]


Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oliverhouse
Member
Member # 3432

 - posted      Profile for oliverhouse   Email oliverhouse         Edit/Delete Post 
Hey wbriggs, I sent an email volunteering to read, but got no response. Not sure if it's a spam filter issue or not, or if you have enough readers, but if you want, I'm at oliverhouse at gmail.com.
Posts: 671 | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mommiller
Member
Member # 3285

 - posted      Profile for mommiller   Email mommiller         Edit/Delete Post 
Still need folks to comment on this?


Posts: 306 | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2