posted
William Forster was tied to a tree. He had been in this situation a number of times, and by now was accustomed to it. He was not, however accustomed to having several men armed with crossbows preparing to kill him as he was tied to the tree. Honestly, he thought, I kill one palace guard and they think it is the end of the bloody world.One of the guards, a blacksmith in the nearby town, put a hood on and began reading the charges from a piece of parchment. He had an immensely boring voice, and was none too good at reading, so it would take some time, time William fully intended to use. Yes, yes, murder, rebellion, thievery, breaches of honor (those had been with the youngest daughter of the king, to be precise, and had been most enjoyable) blasphemy, heresy, right, yes, I admit to all of the above. This man could make even the
Posts: 43 | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I forgot to explain myself and this story. The entire story is three fourths of a page long, just Forester's escape, and nothing more. I don't have any plans for it, just thought I could start getting critiqued so I would have time to swallow my pride before unveiling my babies to the harsh wind of criticism.
Posts: 43 | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
being 'used to being tied to a tree' at first made me laugh, I wanted to get to know this guy he sounds interesting just by that one fact alone but then I thought 'used to being tied to a tree?" sounds odd. maybe used to being in these types of situations. He obviously has no fear of actually being killed. is that intended? makes it sound like Bugs Bunny, he knows from the start Elmer will shoot the duck not him.
posted
This sounds a lot like a Terry Brooks story I started. I'm not a fan of this sort of thing, but lots of people are. If you can keep this up, you should do well.
Posts: 2830 | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
My intent was that this character be a sort of Robin Hood with a dash of Jack Sparrow, and a hint of Han Solo; I think it worked maybe a little too well. Anyhow, I did not directly intend him to have no fear of death, it just sort of came out in his character, but I don't mind it one bit.
Posts: 43 | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
More to the point, he's got better things to do with his time than agonize over his impending death, particularly as he fully intends to avert it. I thought it was odd that you mention that one of the guards was a blacksmith in another town, because both are full time jobs (and commuting wasn't the big thing back in ye olde feudal times) and it wouldn't seem likely that William would happen to know this about the guard in question anyway.
Maybe you mean that he looked like a blacksmith. Or perhaps you mean that he's been caught by a posse. But if they're a posse, then they should have a sherrif or deputized official leading them. If the blacksmith is said deputy, then it would be good to clarify that.
Anyway, I rather like the light tone. I could read more.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
