"Her voice was usually musical and light, but that night it sent chills down the spine of the man who loved her."

This sentence confuses me. Even in the first sentence it seems that information is being withheld from me. Who is she? Who is he?

" Even muffled, as it was being heard through the door, it came across sharp and harsh as she hurled accusations at the king’s head. "

I still don't know who she is and for a moment, I thought the king was the guy listening on the other side of the door. Also, this is the start of that telling rather than showing...let's hear the accusations. Let's let the woman have her full-throated spat.

"He knew it was neither honorable nor decent to be listening at doors, especially one of the king’s, but he couldn’t not listen."

This isn't interesting to me right now because it doesn't set the stage or the story -- it doesn't even do anything for the character since I don't have the first inkling of who he is...a guard, a servant, a knight, a lord, a talking cat...???

" So much was at stake, such a huge part of him was at stake."

This is a meaningless sentence to me. Not only is it not showing me anything, but it's not really telling me anything either. It neither furthers the plot nor creates any suspense or sense of conflict, as I have no idea what could possibly be at stake.

" The tension between Ivorria and the king had been mounting for months, at had come to a sizzling high with the latest execution."

Is Ivorria the woman he mentioned earlier? What is her relationship to the king? And once again, I think you have missed an opportunity. You don't have to tell us anything at all...let the voices he is hearing through the door tell us all this and more.

" He called out to her silently, 'Ivorria, my dear, if only you were not so bold and rash…' but it was to no avail, she could not hear him and would not listen if she could."

I'm not entirely clear what danger she is in so I'm not sharing his concern.

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The others' comments I would echo in general. I don't know what the conventions are for prologues (I've never written one per se, and I always skip them when reading a book, or at most skim them quickly), but see if there is a way to dispense with the catch-up and start the story moving forward in the second sentence or so. Maybe jump right into the woman's dialogue there (since you just told us about the change in her voice).

I would keep reading, but much more summary backstory following the excerpt might wear me down. Good luck with it.

Give us the names of the characters immediately. Let his name come first, since he's the POV character. Let us know where they are and what's happening, then how POV character feels about it.

If he can't hear her, then not much is happening here, so maybe you should start somewhere else, such as when she went into the king's chambers (and he tried to talk her out of it).

If he can hear her, imagine this.

quote:

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John could just hear his sister Ivonna through the door to the king's chambers. It sounded like the king was having a rough time.

"You expect me to marry an evil robot monkey?" Ivonna said. "In this ugly dress? Are you out of your royal mind?"

Usually her voice sounded so sweet and melodious.

"Eavesdropping again?" a voice behind John said.

It was the steward. "No," John said. "No. I just -- I dropped something."

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BTW I also echo the comment about when MC thinks that a lot is at stake. If we don't know what's at stake, we can't care. Tell us!