Daniel Murphy had been hoping it would rain on the day the invaders came. Each alien, a shimmering little packet of global warming, stepped out of the ship and read his words. The sky above tried to close over its wound the ship had made and shuttered with distaste. Murphy stepped back from the plasma screen which served as one wall of the conference room.

He had spent the earlier part of the day scrawling whatever poetry, song lyrics, quotes or letters he could think of on the walls of the government research facility in which the aliens were allowed to dock. He set televisions in the walls too. Already the Earth was feeding its neighbors false information, pulling them in to a maze where they could be studied, but it would give them Shakespeare and Simple Plan for their efforts.

My take:

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Daniel Murphy had been hoping it would rain on the day the invaders came. Nice. I have a POV and a hook. Great first line

Each alien, a shimmering little packet of global warming hu? This tells me nothing but makes me wonder if you are going to preach all short. Describe them to me , stepped out of the ship and read his words Which said - welcome to Disney. What words? Where are we?.

The sky above tried to close over its wound the ship had made and shuttered with distaste. This needs some reworking. I can't see it. What wound? How does the Sky(?) shutter (close). OR did you mean shudder - in which case how does it do that? The sky tried to close the wound the ship made.

Murphy stepped back from the plasma screen which served as one wall of the conference room. not bad. now I have a location which seems to be different than where the aliens are

He had spent the earlier part of the day why are we flashing back? This disrupts the story scrawling whatever poetry, song lyrics, quotes or letters he could think of on the walls of the government research facility raises the question of how he was able to do this in <-- delete this. at which the aliens were allowed to dock. He set televisions in the walls too hu? . Already the Earth was feeding its neighbors false information, pulling them in to a maze where they could be studied, but it would give them Shakespeare and Simple Plan for their efforts. hu?

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Focus on the event and try to stay linear in the first 13.

It seems like it could be a nice story but you need to streamline the storytelling.

Daniel Murphy had been hoping it would rain on the day the invaders came. He had spent the earlier part of the day scrawling whatever poetry, song lyrics, quotes or letters he could think of on the walls of the government research facility in which the aliens were allowed to dock and in which he was paid to work. He set televisions in the walls too. Already the Earth was feeding its neighbors false information, pulling them in to a maze where they could be studied, but it would give them Shakespeare stanzas and Simple Plan lyrics for their efforts.

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Potential rewrite

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Daniel Murphy had been hoping it would rain on the day the invaders came.

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Fair enough, but it might help to clarify why he's hoping that. Has it been hot lately? Are his allergies acting up? Has it been a while since he's had a shower? I can think of reasons he might be hoping for this, but it seems disconnected from the rest of the story. If this is important to the story, it'll feel like the author is withhold information from the reader. Otherwise, it feels extraneous.

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He had spent the earlier part of the day scrawling whatever poetry, song lyrics, quotes or letters he could think of on the walls of the government research facility in which the aliens were allowed to dock and in which he was paid to work.

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That's a really long sentence, with lots of prepositions and clauses. I'd recommend looking for a way to break it in half.

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He set televisions in the walls too.

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That doesn't sound like an easy task.

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Already the Earth was feeding its neighbors false information, pulling them in to a maze where they could be studied, but it would give them Shakespeare stanzas and Simple Plan lyrics for their efforts.

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I'm not sure what efforts are being referenced, but I like the feel of this line. Somehow, it reminded me of Steven King's writing.

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Each alien, their green ridged heads bobbing at human hip height, stepped out of the ship and read the words written on the walls of their maze...

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So, are their heads green with ridges, or do their heads have green ridges? A comma or hyphen there would clarify the meaning.

I don't think hip height needs a hyphen, however.

It starts with a character, a perspective we can possibly get into, but then it seems to meander out into global PoV territory (usually a minefield around here, but I try to be open.) As a reader, I'm wondering if this story is going to be limited, global or mixed.

Overall, I think it has potential. Keep in mind that first contact isn't original, so I'm wondering what will make this fresh and inviting. If I don't see it soon, I would likely stop reading.