Hi Laura,I generally liked your 13 lines, but it seems a little confusing to read.
>Little icicles fell around his cheeks as Father George opened his eyes, tickling him.
Do these icicles fall from his eyes onto his cheeks. If so, it's an odd image and for there to be icicles forming on his eyelashes. It must be very cold for them to do so, yet they fall off so easily when he opens his eyes? Perhaps there is an explanation later on.
>He made a snuffling sort of snort as he tried to shake them off, the noise frightening the man at the controls.
..a snuffling sort of snort...? A sure way to trip a reader up, push them out of the story -- although don't get me wrong, it is a phrase with comedy value. Without more of the intro I am unsure of its value, though.
...the noise frightening the man at the controls...I am unsure of the change in tense here. Perhaps '...which seemed to frighten the man at the controls..' or 'which frightened the man at the controls'.
>The man turned, one sweaty palm clutching at the lapel of his white lab coat. "Well that's not supposed to happen." The technician made a face at Father George and turned away again, once more concentrating on the multitude of buttons and switches in front of him.
Is the technician the man at the controls and the same man who pulls a face? Mildly confusing -- easily sorted out.
>"What's not supposed to happen?"
Who says this? Is it Father George? To me he seems in a confused state, perhaps suspended animation or something so it's not obvious he is the speaker. Easily rectified. Same point with the next few uses of 'he'. If you had identified it was Father George speaking then the he's make sense. As it is, the last person who is the subject of a sentence is the technician.
I think this would be a great intro if you tidied up some of the confusion. Is this omniscient POV -- it must be because Father George can't know the technician had sweaty hands.
Hope I helped.