I am looking for people to read the entire work and critique.
-- BEGIN SAMPLE -- Ailith Bar’un pulled her hood low around her head as she moved through the crowded market. The travelling caravan had attracted most of the inhabitants of the small town of Bregan’s Landing and its surrounding farms.
The bustling crowd made the market more dangerous for her than normal but it also made it easier for her to slip by unnoticed. She had to be careful; the mere sight of her elfish features would infuriate the locals. Ailith was only a half-elf but the people of this region didn’t see a distinction.
She caught sight of Angus, a young brute that she knew would expose her. Ailith stepped up to a merchant’s rickety booth and pretended to eye his wares while actually keeping an eye on the youth.
posted
Send it on over to me if you want, but I have another crit before it and I'm working on a story of my own, so it will be a few days at least.
Posts: 2626 | Registered: Apr 2008
| IP: Logged |
quote:Send it on over to me if you want, but I have another crit before it and I'm working on a story of my own, so it will be a few days at least.
Sent. Thanks Merlion.
Anyone else? Also, if you indicated you would like to read it in the other thread please do so again here. I don't want to assume that you are still interested.
posted
I'll read. Not sure how detailed a critique you're after, but I'm happy to read and share my 'wisdom'.
Posts: 64 | Registered: Jun 2006
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
