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Since I started this writing thing last year, I've piled up about a dozen stories that I never submitted or anything. I'm going back through them to see what I have. This is a light-hearted one that starts out pretty mundane, but goes kind of crazy at the end. It's also probably the only thing I've written that might be considered scifi. Some of you might remember it. Looking for readers before I send it out.
1st thirteen
Mel Norman squinted at the bathroom mirror and a stranger stared back. He spun around reflexively to find the intruder, but he was alone. In the mirror was a short, stout, dark-haired and completely unfamiliar reflection mimicking his every move. A slow boil began in the pit of Mel’s stomach. "Honey!" he drew the word out and terminated it with a shrill whine. The stranger in the mirror was sweating by the time Mel’s wife poked her head into the bathroom. "Must you? At this hour? What?" she said. Mel was irritated by her tone, and her inattention. He spread his hands and gestured like a game show hostess at his face.
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It's an interesting opening. The only thing that bothers me is the line-by-line choppiness. I definitely would like to know what is going on with this character though.
I enjoyed your last story so much I would love to give this one a read if I didn't scare you off with my last critique. Let me know.
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