Genre: Urban Horror; Length: 7000 words; Looking for readers/swaps
The gray smoke from Kim Jung Hyun’s cigarette drifted up from the burning ashes to curl around her neck. She sat opposite her seongsaegnim, O Seung Tae, in the Café Bene in Nohyeong Rotary. Seung Tae slouched back in his chair, legs crossed, and stared out the window into the darkening evening. The days had grown longer as March fell to April, the snowy winter given way to a rainy spring. Already, it was almost eight o’clock, and Jung Hyun checked a sigh of impatience as she waited for her seongsaegnim to tell her why he’d called the meeting today.
“The Gwanlyo has given you a new assignment.” Seung Tae took a slow pull from his cigarette, and turned to look directly at Jung Hyun as he blew a long funnel cloud of smoke from his nose. “We need a human.”
I like the prose and the set up. One suggestion, by stringing together so many words out of the normal, "..seongsaegnim, O Seung Tae, in the Café Bene in Nohyeong Rotary. Seung Tae...", you run the risk of pulling the reader out before he gets invested in the story. You might try breaking them up and introducing them in some context so the reader has a chance to internalize them.
Posts: 459 | Registered: Mar 2010
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