posted
I was going to try and skilfully work this into an reply to an already-extant topic, but I realise I lack such subtlety, so I'm going for the shameless plug. www.littlewebsite.org.uk Pop along. Have a read. It's a bit of a laugh, and you can tell me what a bloody mess it is if you like (or if you liked it!). There you go. My shame is completely run out now. JK
Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
To make an on-topic reply to an off-topic post (is that actually possible? And we are in fact talking about the writing on the site I assume, so that would be on-topic to start with. Anyway…), I enjoyed the humor in the written “dialog” of the above site. Nice level of descriptive detail. HTML construction (as far as explored – didn’t try all links) appears sound. It however, is very difficult to read the black writing on the dark blue background.
And in answer to the question of the whenever: Teflon is not actually stuck to a pan. As in no adhesive, no self-stick of the Teflon, etc. They beat it into it, so that it is compressed into the grooves of the metal underneath to hold it on.
posted
The two selections, stories, I suppose, were well written. They suffer from only one major flaw. Being fiction pieces, there is an expectation that there is going to be some kind of story, but both are narrative and depictive, without really being dramatic.
quote:It however, is very difficult to read the black writing on the dark blue background.
I know, which is why I changed it. Was it not changed? I saw it change and so did others. *grumble, mutter, pops off to have a peek* I still see it changed. How bizarre. I'll have to take a closer look at this. Ta very much for the niceties, and I apolgise here and now for my off-topicness. Survivor, the second piece is wierd, I know. I was fairly certain there was a story in the first one, though... Ta to both of you for taking the time, I'm much appreciative. JK
Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Actually, while the first piece was a narrative, (and a fairly interesting and well written one at that) it lacked any real dramatic tension on par with the action taking place. The ending is a foregone conclusion, isn't it? Torment and death, just as the good doctor predicted.
A story needs more than just narrative and descriptive detail, it needs tension. And there really isn't any in either piece, though both are good material. The first piece is an exellent introductory sketch of a potential main character in a longer work, the second...well, might have more difficulty being part of a story. Perhaps working it in as the musing of a POV character or something.
posted
Ah, brave JK has provided sustenance for the salivating critics.
I do like the site, btw. Web colors always take a while to coordinate for different browsers and monitors. It's easily readable on my screen.
Hey, it takes guts, hope, or lunacy to put your work out for the masses. Hopefully you have all of those qualities, James. And the critiques will make for ever-improving work in days to come. Putting yourself at risk may be the most necessary step.
posted
Okay, since I officially licked my Shame Bowl clean already, I've no problems with showing you lot just how stupid I am.
quote:Hopefully you have all of those qualities, James.
Some of the more observant may notice that JeremyMc calls me by my first name in this sentence. However, I'm not prone to giving out my first name on Hatrack, content with going as just 'JK'. So I frown. How does he know my name? I ask myself. I don't remember giving it to him. Except that the page I directed all and sundry to has my full name emblazoned on a dozen pages. Sad, isn't it? I wouldn't bet on myself if I was playing a game of chess against a lemon. Anyway, let's inject some relevance. Survivor, you are a cruel man *grin* You're also a little spooky, in that you've accurately 'guessed' at the nature of both pieces; A Kiss Goodnight is really only an exploration of Dietrich's character before I jump into Abomination. If These Walls Could Talk... was never meant to be a story, nor will it ever be. One point:
quote:The ending is a foregone conclusion, isn't it?
It wasn't to me; Dietrich almost sired that one. I do thank you for your honesty, though. Brutal but honest always wins over honey-sweet lies. Thanks for the pep-talk, Jeremy, I needed some of that. Brutal and honest may always win, but I never said it was always fun... JK
Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2000
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I think that you need to give him a little more reason for taking her into his fold, if you want that to come across, and also provide the telling reason that he refuses her in that moment.
Does he want her just as a plaything? A thrall, disposable at need, but ever there for his service? Surely not a companion, not such as her...unless he sees some inner cruelty that would make her love him and he her (of course, it is more important that she love him). Or is he going on that boodthirsty instinct that tells him that terror must be rewarded with pain, and not mere extinction?
For a really interesting game with this one, you would need another player...perhaps someone known to our mortal friend, but above her in wit, social standing, and above all, cruelty and malice. Yes, take her into the undying night, and let her imagine herself a companion, but then, bring her a "friend" from her old life....Ah, the possibilities....
posted
You misunderstand. Dietrich almost sired her in my head. He didn't in the story, and didn't intend to. It was all part of the torture. As hinted at in the story, Dietrich still hurts from the loss of his last eternal companion, although he's come back to do something about that. I do think stabbing her after draining her seems unnecessary and ridiculous, though. I think I'll remove that part and just have him leave her scrabbling at the last vestiges of life. That's more torturous, and more in Dietrich's character. JK
Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Please for the the sake of us who realy want to read your site. The link to home is broken. Loose the frames and change the colors. The kinky font is cute, but the red and blue are almost perfect contrasting colors. This is ment in the most loving way, but I see a lot of sites like this and I can't read them. I have designed webpages for money. There are a LOT of sites on how to get a good "look" on the web.
Posts: 33 | Registered: Jun 2002
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posted
Yes, the links are a constant pain in my a- um, posterior. It appears that AOL takes offence at my site. There is no red. Even I can tell that. I intend to deal with AOL today, and so the links should be working soon. Sorry. JK
Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2000
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you most likely have to name your home page "index.htm" of someting like that. check with your isp's guidelines. The server is usually unix so it may be "index.html" Keep trying. just remember you are a writer first and a web-designer second.
Every link brings up a "Sorry, we can't find that page"
There's nothing wrong with using frames, but the left hand nav bar does have red text on a blue background, which isn't at all advised - always go for high contrast for general purposes.
If you don't know why there's red showing then a little tip - apparently there are only just over 200 true web colours - ie, supported in all browsers. Browsers will interpret any other colours in many different ways.
posted
Oops, sorry Mr Whipple, I thought you meant that the body text was red. Yes, I changed the link colour but it doesn't change on-line. Which is wierd cos I chose a very basic colour, which should show. Maybe it's a bad colour, maybe it's AOL. And I'm not a Net airhead. I do know what I'm doing. It's all fine on my end, it's just crappy AOL. They're going to get an unpleasant phone call today, and I guarantee one of the 'technical supervisors' (who couldn't supervise an abacus out of a wet paper bag) will be getting a headache... I like frames too. JK [Edit: Having given AOL staff an ear-full, I have hopefully sorted the problem by not using their software. So the links should all be working and the pages should all be there.]
[This message has been edited by JK (edited June 18, 2002).]
posted
Just checked and all the links do not work. I can get what's new links and question but the rest get the standart AOL can't find link message. And I agree AOL sucks big time.
BTW I am using netscape 6.2
[This message has been edited by MrWhipple (edited June 18, 2002).]
posted
Hmm... Using Netscape 4.04, this is what I see...
The red on blue is a little annoying maybe but still legible, I would go for black instead.
The link to "A Kiss Goodnight" gets a 'not found' error
The link to the "Scary Kitties" page does not open a new window like the others on the links page do, and the link to "Generally weird" brings a 'not found' error
The link to "Question of the week" brings a 'not found' error
posted
Sadly, the two links you mentioned have disappeared from the Internet and died. Tragic, because they're both very funny. This thing is starting to get to be more trouble than it's worth... JK
Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2000
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