posted
My opinion on these is that it is to be determined on a scene basis.
For some scenes, you may just want people to get the information really quick, and not get bored. You may spit it out fast, and get it over.
However, for other scenes, perhaps a wife finding out she is now a widow, you really want to show how she reacts. I think that with certain scenes you should be flamboyant with details on the people to further articulate the conflicts they are facing.
Again, with some dialogues which may be solely there to lead the reader to a new point in the story, you just want to get the scene done with.
Do you believe the writer should be consistent with their dialogue tags, using invisible said, replied, et cetera, or that it pertains to the scene?
posted
In general, it really irritates me when writers use dialogue words other than "said". I think, in general, the context of the conversation indicates the tone of the characters' speech. So, I try to always use "said" except in extraordinary circumstances. I especially try to avoid "asked"; the question mark indicates that, so that restating it in the tag seems redundant. I also try especially hard to avoid using "exclaimed"; it is like a much longer exclamation point - a piece of punctuation that I believe should be used sparingly.
Posts: 50 | Registered: Feb 2003
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posted
I get lost when authors don't say which character said what. You can go a couple lines without this, especially for one or two word replies. If you are trying to have a fast paced scene, though, think how much it slows things down that I have to backtrack to try to figure out who just said that.
Also, I don't mind the "asked". In fact, I think said is wrong when a question mark is used, the character didn't say it, he or she asked it. But that's just my opinion. I never use exclaimed though. That's just silly, in my opinion. Said is good in most cases. The reader doesn't even notice it, it's more of a place holder.
posted
Lots of authors (including King) will tell you to avoid tags other than the invisible "said" where possible. But I believe this derives from a "show don't tell" frame of mind. I mean, you should be writing these scenes such that the reader wouldn't need a really descriptive tag.
However, if you read through books -- there are lots and lots of successful authors that use action tags of all kinds. It's all about moderation, I'm sure.
posted
Khyber has an interesting point. Use dialog tags to pace the action during dialog. If you want the reader to feel that the scene is happening fast, use few or no (if you can do it) tags. If you want the reader to feel that the scene is moving slower, use more tags.
posted
I have to reitereate....no tags (especially for a lot of lines in a row) are CONFUSING and will cause me to have to REREAD your "fast Paced" action scene. I don't know what experts say on this, I haven't seen any info., but I can't stress enough that it sounds like a bad idea to me.
Posts: 3567 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
I've had long arguments about this in many, many forums. I think the original advice to use only said came as a response to excesses used by bad writers, where they would use dialogue tags that were just physically impossible.
"I hate you!" she spat.
"What? Why would you think that?" he coughed.
"How boring," he yawned.
"Don't hurt me," she cringed.
These "said-bookisms" are just silly in most contexts. I should note, however, that Patrick McManus, a humor writer, uses constructions like this all the time to very good effect. The critically acclaimed novel "Confederacy of Dunces" also has this type of dialogue tag on almost every page. Still, for most writing, these are innapropriate. I think this is where the advice "J just say said" comes from.
Alas, if you follow this advice, you place yourself in a situation where you avoid using the appropriate words in the appropriate places. It would be like following the advice that in all situations, you should only use the word "walk" to describe your characters movements.
"Amidst a hail of gunfire, Bob walked to the getaway car."
"Bob walked up the cliff."
"Bob walked from the plane, then realized he'd forgotten his parachute."
Obviously, the advice to only use "walk" is absurd, removing running, sprinting, dancing, jumping, skipping, and hundreds of other appropriate words from your vocabulary.
Using only "said" is, I think, equally silly if another word is more appropriate.
"You idiot!" he shouted.
"My husband is in the next room," she whispered.
"Please don't shoot me," he begged.
"I want to see my son!" she demanded.
Obviously, if you wrote a conversation where you never used said and only had your characters screaming, singing, and commanding, it would be more comic than dramatic. But don't shy away from using the right word in the right place based on some "ironclad" rule about said.
posted
I agree with you James, and would like to add that one of my problems with only using said is that it becomes a bit monotonous. I tend to get bored with writing that doesn't vary word choice at all. I'm not saying that you should vary it for the sake of variety, but as James pointed out, sometimes things other than "said" are appropriate, and they create a natural variety in word usage.
posted
I like those, and they work, but there is one piece of caution. Make it clear who is saying what. I've seen a lot of confusing paragraphs where more than one character is doing something and I'm not sure which is the speaker.
Frank and Alice began to move towards the door, "It's time to go."
posted
I'm reading Ian Fleming's "Goldfinger" and I would say 75% of his dialogue has "invisible" tags.
"Mr. Bond--" Goldfinger snapped his fingers for the two servants--"it happens that I am a rich man."
or
Bond took a deep draught of the delicious claret. "All this must be rather hard on your furniture."
This style is actually very effective, but only as long as there are no more than two speaking characters on stage. For me, the second a third potential speaking character enters the scene, actual dialogue tags are mandatory.
posted
Actually, those aren't "invisible" tags, they're called "action tags."
For what it's worth, you can write entire stories (even novels) without ever using "said" or synonyms of "said" if you make sure you have a clear action tag for each piece of dialog.
You have to remember to use the punctuation correctly, though. An action tag is a separate sentence (or an interjection, as in the GOLDFINGER example above), and should not be set off from the dialog with a comma the way "said" phrases would be.
Action tags have the added benefit of moving things along by letting the reader know what the character is doing while speaking.
posted
I actually completely disagree with James - not only are those examples very possible, but they are also very descriptive.
But it all depends upon the writer's style and temperament as to what is preferred.
I also quite disagree on using just "said". Dialogue alone cannot convey important cues such as tone. That's where careful use of words come in.
Look at James's "errant" examples. They immediately convey emotion and action. The dialogue by itself in the examples is completely incapable of that.
IMHO, one of the worst failings of writers is to assume that the reader will perfectly imagine everything that the writer imagines. This will never be so - the writer should never presume too much about what the reader understands.
With reference to the original point, that means that dialogue "tags" are an extremely useful way to help communicate the subtleties and nuances of character and plot.
posted
i mostly use action tags myself, but i thought this was worth noting: a lot of a character's background can be communicated through his speech patterns. if your characters have well-defined (but not overdone, or things turn comical) patterns, tags can be used far less.
posted
I think action tags are a good every now and then to break the monotony, but don't get carried away and don't put an important action in the tags---people don't actually read them all the time just skim by. I usually save the action in action tags for characters idiosyncrasies.
I used to rack my brain to find adjetives and synonyms for tags, but after reading Characters and Viewpoints (you gueeded it by OSC) and realized that they are somewhat invisible.
JOHN!
[This message has been edited by JOHN (edited June 20, 2003).]
quote:"Mr. Bond," Goldfinger snapped his fingers for the two servants, "it happens that I am a rich man."
...seems to be common usage. Dashes might be appropriate to designate the action by someone not doing the speaking:
"Mr. Bond," Goldfinger snapped his fingers for the two servants, "it happens that I am a rich man." "I've heard tell." "The fiend standing by the pond"--James looked there--"is far richer...but won't live as long."
posted
Thanks for the ideas. I think I would avoid the following version, though, as it has the flavor of a comma splice:
"Mr. Bond," Goldfinger snapped his fingers for the two servants, "it happens that I am a rich man."
Perhaps another alternative is to use full stops:
"Mr. Bond." Goldfinger snapped his fingers for the two servents. "It happens that I am a rich man."
But this isn't quite right either, because the fragment ("Mr. Bond.") looks peculiar. If the action tag breaks up a full sentence of dialogue in a way that one piece or the other is a fragment, then I vote for an em dash, probably outside the quotes since a dash inside the quotes would indicate that the speaker has been interrupted. So, maybe:
"Mr. Bond,"--Goldfinger snapped his fingers for the two servants--"it happens that I am a rich man."
Perhaps if the action actually does interupt the speaker, then the dash could go inside, and the action tag is just a separate sentence:
"Mr. Bond--" Goldfinger clutched at his esophagas, barely able to speak. "It seems...I have underestimated you...again!"
And just to confuse matters, Theodore Sturgeon's editor put one dash inside the quotes and the other outside. From page 141 of Bright Segment, which I am reading today:
"His eyes are green. He has--" she gulped and her voice sank--"long hair, only not like a May."
I think about these things too much. I gotta get back to writing now.
[This message has been edited by Michael Main (edited June 21, 2003).]
posted
Back to what was said earlier about tags such as
"At least I DIDN'T sleep with him!" Krystine spat.
It isn't a matter of it being a physical impossibility, it's more a way of suggesting a figure. It's quite figurative you might say. To say something quickly, sharply, and angrily/rudely is like spitting. If you don't get it, don't ask. But just remember the point is most of those tags are figurative and not literal expressions of action.
posted
You're right about the spat tag, Alice. Sometimes, though, some of the other tags are lazy ways of saying other things. Some of the other tags mentioned earlier were coughed, yawned, and cringed.
What is actually meant by saying "blah blah blah." he caughed. Is "blah blah blah." He turned away so as not to meet her eyes, coughing softly.
Or, if you were to say, "How boring." he yawned. What you probably mean to say is. He yawned loudly. "How boring."
I guess what i mean is a lot of these should be action tags, and using them as dialogue tags is sort of a rushed and sloppy way of doing things.
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