Hatrack River Writers Workshop   
my profile login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Hatrack River Writers Workshop » Forums » Open Discussions About Writing » Looking for a word

   
Author Topic: Looking for a word
TheoPhileo
Member
Member # 1914

 - posted      Profile for TheoPhileo   Email TheoPhileo         Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Jameen almost put a finger to its sweaty neck to confirm it dead, but thought better of it. An xxxx nudge with toe of his boot was convincing enough.

Anybody know a word that means "not responded to?" Ignored is the closest I can come up with, but that obviously doesn't work with a dead humanoid body. Perhaps something akin to unrequited?

Posts: 292 | Registered: Feb 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
TheoPhileo
Member
Member # 1914

 - posted      Profile for TheoPhileo   Email TheoPhileo         Edit/Delete Post 
oooh How about unreciprocated?

(Don't mind me thinking aloud in the forum)

[This message has been edited by TheoPhileo (edited February 11, 2004).]


Posts: 292 | Registered: Feb 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
Lord Darkstorm
Member
Member # 1610

 - posted      Profile for Lord Darkstorm   Email Lord Darkstorm         Edit/Delete Post 
Unresponsive?
Posts: 807 | Registered: Mar 2003  | Report this post to a Moderator
RillSoji
Member
Member # 1920

 - posted      Profile for RillSoji   Email RillSoji         Edit/Delete Post 
Perhaps reconstruction the sentence?

Nudging the unresponsive body with the toe of his boot was convincing enough...

or

He nudged the limp body with toe of his boot...


Posts: 125 | Registered: Feb 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
Christine
Member
Member # 1646

 - posted      Profile for Christine   Email Christine         Edit/Delete Post 
I agree...reconstruct the sentence. I can't think of the word, and the way it stands now is a little awkward even if you can come up with the right word.
Posts: 3567 | Registered: May 2003  | Report this post to a Moderator
Gwalchmai
Member
Member # 1807

 - posted      Profile for Gwalchmai   Email Gwalchmai         Edit/Delete Post 
How about cautious or casual, depending on the context?
Posts: 156 | Registered: Nov 2003  | Report this post to a Moderator
Fire-Bringer
Member
Member # 1856

 - posted      Profile for Fire-Bringer   Email Fire-Bringer         Edit/Delete Post 
Tentative? Exploratory? I kinda like the sentence the way it is, assuming you find the right word.

-F


Posts: 20 | Registered: Jan 2004  | Report this post to a Moderator
Survivor
Member
Member # 213

 - posted      Profile for Survivor   Email Survivor         Edit/Delete Post 
Reconstruct the sentence. The word you are looking for (limp and unresponsive both work quite well) is describing the behavior of the body, not the nudge.

If you rephrase this with a phrase, you'll see this quickly enough.

A nudge with the toe of his boot--which brought no response--was convincing enough.

In this sentence, there is no clear indication why the nudge brought no response. I could be that the creature was dead, but then again, it could equally be the fault of the nudge, perhaps he didn't nudge hard enough or maybe his boot was too soft.

You can see that Gwalchmai and Fire-Bringer didn't even get what you were looking for, they both suggest adjectives (and an adverb) that describe the nudge, not the response.

But this is all rather out of place. The reason that you nudge a dead body like that is not because you expect a response. If the creature is unconscious or fiegning death, there won't be one. The reason you nudge the body is because a dead body feels completely different from a live body, particularly the abdominal wall. In a live body, there will be detectable muscle tension. In a dead body...not so much. Of course, with the use of a muscle relaxant or certain forms of meditation, this degree of relaxation can be imitated. But the fact remains...limp is the word you want.

Just apply it to the body, not his nudge.


Posts: 8322 | Registered: Aug 1999  | Report this post to a Moderator
Kolona
Member
Member # 1438

 - posted      Profile for Kolona   Email Kolona         Edit/Delete Post 
Phooey. You beat me to the punch, Survivor.
Posts: 1810 | Registered: Jun 2002  | Report this post to a Moderator
   

   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Hatrack River Home Page

Copyright © 2008 Hatrack River Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2