Yesterday my husband and I put a contract on a house and today the accepted it -- our first house. We were excited about it and everything was going well until we came home and could not find one of our cats. We looked everyone in the apartment and I tried to tempt her with cat treats and she didn't come. She's not here. She slipped out sometime this afternoon and we don't know where. She's an indoor kitty, without any front claws. (She wasn't supposed to go outside.) She itty bitty and I'm really upset about it.

So I cried and couldn't get excited about the house at all; it's all just kind of blah. And then I wandered onto hatrack and realized I'd just learned something about real human emotions that I can file away for a later date. Sadness will overwhelm an otherwise happy or exciting occasion.

And when something does happen, then you're too close to it to write about it well. You've got to wait--often a long time. Years later, after the memories have distilled and yielded up their lessons, their resonant images, and their essences, then you can write about it.

Think of the events like wine. Bottle them up. Put them in your cellar until they age properly. When they are mature and ready, uncork and decant into your fiction...

Of course this isn't true about all things, but think about this: the farther away you get from your own childhood, the more resonances and meanings and amazing images you can distill from it. If you're a parent, you'll think much differently about your children's early years after they've grown and gone than you did when you were experiencing them. It's the distance that allows us the great insights, which might then make it into our writing.

Many people on this forum are so much younger than I am, I don't even know if what I'm saying here will really be understood by anyone, but you fogies out there know what I mean.

You're right about using experiences. For actors, it's called method acting. For writers, well, I don't know what you would call it except maybe drama.

Being able to write a depth of emotion adds drama regardless of genre or style.

I actually noticed a similar juxtaposition in the original A hundred and one Dalmations cartoon. The mommy dog gives birth to 15 puppies! 15! How happy, how joyous, etc., etc. But then one dies. You watch the anticipation and excitement grow as one after the one the puppies are born, and then it is all smashed because one dies. Of course they find a way to revive it, but for a few momnents that puppy is really gone and it is difficult to be happy that there are still 14 other puppies.