posted
I seriously feel like quitting this morning. There's a window by my chair...how easy to toss the computer out and watch it smash to the driveway below in a million tiny bits of stories that were never going anywhere anyway.
I keep wondering if there's actually a chance in hell that a nobody with no connections can get a book published. I keep wondering if I could get that good or that lucky. Some days my daydreams make me feel like I can do anything with enough time, patience, and practice, but then reality gets in the way like it did this week.
All right, I'm done ranting now. Back to your regularly scheduled chit chat....
quote:I seriously feel like quitting this morning.
Christine, surely you can't be serious!
The name you gave to this thread tells me that you have answered your own question. There is more to writing that finding the approval of some ponderous publishing company. Besides, the crunch of a computer hitting the driveway isn't all it's cracked up to be. You'd be disappointed, and your first instinct would be to write about your disappointment to all your Hatrack friends. You'd need a computer to do that.
[This message has been edited by Doc Brown (edited September 08, 2005).]
quote:I keep wondering if there's actually a chance in hell that a nobody with no connections can get a book published.
Of course there is. It's happened to people we know, but it either took them longer or they went to conventions and made connections. Connections don't just happen, you have to cultivate them and develop them.
I just swapped emails with autumnmuse who was feeling a little like the same way you are, only she was suffering from post-first sale blues and wondering if she could following it up after receiving a number of rejections following that high she'd been on after making that first sale.
Bottom line: have a whale of a time whilst writing. Really get into it, roll with it and enjoy it. Never mind what may or may not happen to your story after its written; thinking on that is just gonna rip all the fun out of the actual writing of the story itself. Writing's gotta give you pleasure, right, or else you wouldn't ever have gotten into it in the first place. Focus on that. Getting actually published - yeah, sure, wouldn't that just be a swell bonus. But that's it, think of it as an added bonus or else you won't stop thinking about it at all.
Although I've been printed in the non-paying small presses, I've yet to make a sale - but it hasn't stopped me writing five novels and four dozen novellas/short stories and having a ball of a time whilst doing it!
posted
My computer remains intact. Fortunately, I have a more rational side to my brain that keeps me from doing entirely stupid things.
Mary -- I'm going to my first conference in two weeks. It's probably not the best one to get started at but it's only four hours from here and I'm afraid that until I have this baby I'm going to be limited in terms of how far I can travel. Next year I'm hoping to attend the Columbia writer's conference, which has more opportunities for speculative fiction writers.
Nothing specific set me off...just been kind of a low week. Between getting four rejections piled up on me all at once (none even personal ones) and gotting some disappointing feedback on my WIP that I'm not entirely sure what to do with I'm just kind of feeling like my skill level is going no where. I'm also pregnant and hormonal. (I love using that as an excuse...it's such total bull...oops did I say that out loud?)
posted
Paul has pretty much the same attitude that I do. Which is not to say I don't regularly despair - but the sources of my despair are internal, not external.
Posts: 1750 | Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted
But you could be hormonal, Christine. At the very least, you are probably tired. Growing a baby takes a lot of energy, and as that kid grows, it gets harder to get a good night's sleep.
And when you're tired, it's a lot easier to feel down about things. It's even possible to get "premonitions" that you are going to die soon, if you get tired enough.
Even if you don't really know me and have no reason to feel that a hug from me would help, I offer you one, too, because I've been there, and done that (pregnancy as well as being down about my writing).
posted
I think you need to write primarily for yourself and secondarily for your readers, otherwise writing will always be a chore. It's a depressing business getting started.
I have no options on making contacts, living where I do. So I have to trust that the quality of my work will speak for itself. I'm sure if you stick with it you will find an agent who knows more about marketing your manuscript than you do. Then you concentrate on the part you love - the writing.
posted
WE all go through that stages. Even OSC mentioned that he was jealous of one story that was written during bootcamp. We are all people, and people have their ups and downs.
My favorite quote:
quote:Success comes to those who hold on long after everyone else has let go.
posted
When you think of smashing your computer to bits, try to think of how much it cost, and whether or not you've got any more payments to make on it.
Posts: 8809 | Registered: Aug 2005
|
posted
Payments on a computer? Geesh I've got debt but I haven't sunk so low yet...so far it still just on the house and the car. Posts: 3567 | Registered: May 2003
|
posted
Actually, I've seen a lot of computers being sold in "four easy payments" (usually because the computer is four times as expensive as a modest new computer ought to be).
I'd offer you a hug too, but we both know that would just creep you out
posted
Just think of it this way. Each day you hang in there, honing your craft, another writer gives up. Remember the rules. You keep pushing while others quit, in the end whoever is left standing wins. I've gone back and forth from "genius" to "idiot" a bazillion times. I don't know which I am--both, more than likely--but I have to keep trying. Otherwise it will all have been a waste.
Posts: 811 | Registered: Jan 2005
|
posted
Oh, and definitely milk the pregnant thing for all it's worth. No shame in that. Then afterwords you can use the child-birth-causes-brain-cell-loss argument. It's also very helpful. I use that one a lot.
Posts: 811 | Registered: Jan 2005
|
posted
Oh God...I hope it doesn't cause brain cell loss! But I swear sometimes I think moms are just plain DUMB. My sister-in-law has a ten-month-old and the other day she was terribly upset with her parents because they put him on their waterbed and she missed it...his first time on a waterbed! My husband and I openly rolled our eyes at her but she said, "Just wait until you're a mom." Good lord! I hope I don't have to witness my son's first time at everything...that could get awkward, come to think of it. Especially as he gets older, I'm thinking there are a few firsts we'd all prefer he didn't share with mommy.
posted
Don't worry it's not too bad with the first, but I have four now. I'm over-the-top dinghy. My eight-year old worries about me. Posts: 811 | Registered: Jan 2005
|
posted
I have been writing for years without any thought whatsoever of publication. Not that it wasn't in the back of my mind that "someday" it would be neat to be published, but it wasn't a driving force in my writing. Some days I feel like I'm behind everyone else because I'm only just now figuring out my bad writing habits (shifting POV, passive voice) and trying to correct them so I can increase my chances of being published.
But the bottom line is that there are stories inside me that have to be told, and I have to write them or I will explode. From that standpoint, it doesn't matter to me if I'm ever published. I'm grateful to be able to enjoy writing without the pressure of feeling OBLIGATED to publish. I take joy in the sheer act of writing. If I wrote with the fear of rejection/not being published hanging over my head all the time it would suck the joy right out of my writing.
As a suggestion for you, Christine-- maybe you should give yourself a "vacation" from publication worries. Say, from now until six months after the baby is born, write only what you love and don't worry about selling it or being published. Plan on it being for your own joy alone. Get in touch with why you love to write in the first place.
You asked the question "Who am I writing for?" It is hard to answer that question when you've been writing for others (editors) for so long. Try writing for just YOU for a while, and then you'll have your answer. You can always make a different choice in a few months to write with the eye for publication once more.
posted
The problem with me putting off "publication worries" is that this is what I do. Most of the people on this site have jobs and other responsibilities...when I got married two years ago, I began writing exclusively and trying to get published. It's what I've always wanted to do, but it is frustratingly slow. I keep thinking on the one hand many people take many more years than I do to get published but on the other hand...I'm working full time on this so I don't have a good excuse to take forever.
Posts: 3567 | Registered: May 2003
|
posted
When I went to Worldcon last month, we had a panel on improving your writing with notably Simon Green, author of the Deathstalker series. He told us that he wrote full-time for 3 years before he began to sell something. I know a lot of authors out there who had to write for longer than that to get published. Sure, some people strike lucky once in a while. But most writers have a hard time breaking through. Just hang on there and keep writing. Remember it's a numbers game (grin) and the more you sub, the more chances you have to striking gold.
Posts: 1075 | Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted
You can't possibly be working full time on anything while you're pregnant. Or rather, being pregnant is pretty much a full-time thing already, anything else you accomplish right now is happening in your spare time.
Oh, and just wait till you're postpartum. And about a week and a half after that you've got a toddler running around (or climbing...kids in my family tend to climb).
The point is...keep writing. It isn't about getting published, it's about keeping your sanity intact.
Obviously, I have my own reasons for being a writer
posted
Christine, I don't believe you need an excuse for taking "forever." From what you've said here over the time I've known you, you're working hard and improving all the time - you're doing everything you can, and the rest is outside your control. Worry about the parts you can control, and let the rest take care of itself.
Posts: 1750 | Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted
Christine, my oh-too-serious friend, you must take a deep breath and relax.
There is only one fact that is important here: you are an excellent writer.
No one else has mentioned this, but I offer it as the resolution to this crisis. I've known you for years on this board, and you have a wonderful way with words. That trait distinguishes you from most aspiring writers and many published ones as well. When it comes to clarity of written communication, you are at least two standard deviations above the mean.
Forget critiques, most of them are written to satisfy the ego of the critiquer.
Forget sales, they are a combination of beautiful writing that lands in the right place at the right time. You've got the tough one in the bag, the other two are a matter of finding a subject and the opportunity to exploit it. Be patient, be passionate.
And remember the late genius writer Hunter S. Thompson, who would surely caution you about permitting the $*&@ bastards to get you down.
posted
I might add that having kids is a full-time job. I completely put my writing aside during the time I was raising mine, until they became teenagers. You may not make that same choice, but just be aware no one who has ever had kids would fault you if you do. Writing will become your "me time" activity, and trust me, "me time" will be pretty limited. (As will sleep and privacy in the bathroom.) The added advantage is that you can think of this period in your life as "research"... My suggestion is to be gentle with yourself as you set your goals for writing. And remember that when you raise a family, your priorities are inevitably going to go through a major restructuring. It's what babies do best, make us restructure our priorities. Posts: 2026 | Registered: Mar 2005
|
That's me. Every so often I even get it in my head to write humor. If I ever suggest that you should read one of those attempts you need to run away...quickly! Sometimes you just have to give in to who you are.
I started working on my novel again yesterday. For the very reasons that Elan mentioned, I want to finish it before November, although I still plan to continue writing over the next few years. (I know it will be tough, but when something's important enough to you I figure you just have to make time, although I don't see anything wrong with choosing to stop. I'd warn against never writing a word for 5 years though.)
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. It seems that about 2-3 times a year I hit these low spots where I think I should just give the whole business of writing up and go find a "real" job. (Although now would admittedly not be the best time in my life to start that job hunt.) Also, 2-3 times a year I feel like nothing can touch me and I'm great and everything will work out perfectly if I just stick with it. I like those times better. In between, though, is when I actually get my writing done.
It was actually sales I was getting frustrated about this time, but I also wondered about this...
quote:Forget critiques, most of them are written to satisfy the ego of the critiquer.
I've often wondered if non writers make better critiquers for this reason, assuming you can get them to be honest. Sometimes when I see advice from writers I swear I'm hearing something out of their last epiphany. I know I hear a lot out of the "rules of writing" without any real thought to how they actually work or don't work in the story in question. But we've had this conversation before, I think, so I will not belabor it over-much.
quote:It seems that about 2-3 times a year I hit these low spots where I think I should just give the whole business of writing up and go find a "real" job.
Everyone goes through those spells. What makes it more difficult is if you MUST keep that real job to feed the three kids and keep a roof over their heads, and have to squeeze your writing around piano lessons, flute lessons, trumpet lessons, boy scouts, working late, fixing toilets, and helping with homework for kids that can't say anything besides "I don't get it." I still managed to write a 75000 word novel and all the revisions within 6 months. You just have to be disciplined and keep plugging away. Even 50 words is progress on a day you just can't bring yourself to write. Sometimes those 50 words are all that stand between finishing the story and quitting.
[This message has been edited by Spaceman (edited September 13, 2005).]
quote:Sometimes when I see advice from writers I swear I'm hearing something out of their last epiphany.
That sounds like something I read in a book by Thomas McCormack on editing (The Fiction Editor, the Novel and the Novelist: A Book for Writers, Teachers, Publishers, Editors and Anyone Else Devoted to Fiction).
If I remember correctly, he said that some editors will tell you to do the same thing that worked on the book they edited before yours, whether it is relevant to your book or not.
That book is an interesting discussion of the editing process, and I'd recommend it to all writers but especially those who have a book accepted and who are waiting for the editor to send back the copyedited manuscript.
posted
As a father of two boys, I sometimes imagine them picking up my manuscript and reading it someday (once they learn to read), maybe passing it to their children. Publication is still ultimately my goal, but isn't it also cool to think that your words will be there for your descendents to someday read. In a way it will let them get to know you on a deeper level. That's just one possible answer to the question, anyway.
Posts: 46 | Registered: Jan 2005
|
posted
I don't have any kids, but when I do have them I want them to know that I had a passion for writing, and that I never gave up, weather I get a word published or not. But I want to get published!!!
Posts: 102 | Registered: Aug 2005
|
posted
Christine, Remember the story (possibly apocryphal) of Emily Dickinson, who was born in Amherst, Massachuetts and lived out most of her life as a recluse.
When she died few knew her except her family. She'd asked her sister to promise go through her things and burn the papers she'd collected and stored in her dresser. So the sister started from the top and one by one burned manuscripts, possibly as many as twenty books which contained uncounted stories and poems. Finally as the sister got to the bottom drawer she was overcome with curiosity so she read one of the papers...a poem. She read another and another could not continue the burning.
In her lifetime Dickinson published a total of 7 poems. We'll never know what her loyal sister burned.
It doesn't matter how much you publish. It matter how much you enjoy writing. Having a baby is tough so you may not enjoy writing or anything else much now. But you will enjoy it again in a few months or a year or two. If things get worse tell your doc and s/he can help in all probability.
[This message has been edited by keldon02 (edited September 18, 2005).]
posted
ahaha, somehow I doubt Christine is going to be comforted by the idea of dying alone in obscurity, even if she knew she was going to be fabulously well-regarded after her death. I think she wants to be successful before her death.
posted
Yes, that was the point. Emily lived until she was 65 and if the other works had not been burned might have been accepted as the number one American poet. She was never read in her lifetime but now is known over all the world. Maybe it was the public and maybe it was her own self confidence problem.
I think that writers must write first to themselves and second to the world.
[This message has been edited by keldon02 (edited September 18, 2005).]
posted
Well, I'm too new here to really know all the people involved in this conversation, but here's my thoughts.
I can relate (kinda... I'm a guy, so I don't know about the pregnant hormone stuff) but I also get down. I've been kicking the idea for a novel around in my head for almost 10 years now, and I've only recently really started to write.
Some days I feel so down, and think that it's total trash. I read stuff from guys like George R. R. Martin, or other fantasy writers (I write fantasy) and think, "holy crap, these guys are just awesome. My work really sucks compared to this."
My best advice? Write for you. If you like it, do it. If you can sell it, its a bonus.
posted
I've had the opposite reaction from time to time. I've read some stuff, and wound up asking myself the question, "Why was this published and why don't they accept my stuff?" (Not often: it's my opinion that some of my stuff is as good as some of what's been published. The emphasis is on "some," "as good as," and "some.")
I remember, a few years ago, reading an issue of Asimov's, and realizing that three stories published within it had exactly the same plot. The details varied, but all broke down on the plot point of: "I know a terrible secret, but I won't tell anybody." I wondered why the editor published all three stories in one issue.
quote:I wondered why the editor published all three stories in one issue.
Having worked as an editor, I'm tempted to guess.
Perhaps the editor thought it would be interesting to see if anyone noticed.
Perhaps the editor liked the idea that the same story could be told in three different ways.
Perhaps the editor was consciously or subconsciously doing a "theme" issue.
I know that I have printed articles with the same "theme" in the same issue of the SFFW newsletter before. I have done it because either I felt they worked together and supported each other or because they gave alternate ways of looking at the "theme."
posted
I've felt like this before, and have two suggestions:
One, sit down and quietly wait for it to pass. Okay, you don't have to sit, and you don't have to be quiet, but it will pass.
Two, power through, and write even though you don't feel like it. I don't do this often, because whatever I turn out inevitably ends up sounding like crap, but this if you only write when you feel like it...well, I don't suppose you'll write very often.
I wanted to say something profound, there. Nothing came to me.
Coffee helps.
It helps me, at least, but I drink it in dangerous amounts.
I don't know if I'd reccomend it to a pregnant woman.
posted
Actually I reckon that over 25% of the people here can write books better than over 40% of the books I have in my collection. That includes people like Christine and Beth (and myself). As to the rest of you, well I just don't know your writing well enough.
Still it's something to think about. Especailly as I try to be selective about what books I buy.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
