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Author Topic: What if your intro is a slow progression
Susannaj4
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into the hook. I know that most want the hook within the first thirteen lines. But what if the first few paragraphs of the beginning are the hook, written in such a way that you wish to keep reading?
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Elan
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The pace of your hook is determined, in part, by the length of your story. The requirements of a Flash story, a short story, or a novel are different. Keep in mind that the word "hook" is a fancy way to say "interesting to the reader." If your reader is not interested in what you have to say, you'll never have the opportunity to get to the "hook" if it's a few pages away.

In my opinion, present your hook as quickly as possible. Once you've dangled the hook and reeled the reader in, you can then let the story unfold at pace appropriate to its length.


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Silver3
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Yup. May I add that the rules will (usually) be a little different when your name is known to the editor, but right now you have to hook them, and don't ever let go of the blighters
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Christine
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If you haven't hooked me in 13 lines I won't keep reading unless I know your name. I have to trust you basd on something, and unless I know your name all I have is your words to date. It's a sad truth of business, but there it is.

Personally, I rank openings in three different way:

HOOKED!
Not hooked.
Fish Hook....this means that there was something compelling in your first 13 lines that makes me willing to give you a few more (how may more depends upon what size lure you're using on your fish hook.)

Now, if your slow progression is what I call a fish hook then yes, I'll give you some more time to get there. But if there is nothing at all until I've read the first page and then it all comes together in one big hook then I'm afraid not.


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pantros
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No one ever said the hook had to be fast action. The hook just has to be something to keep me reading on to the next line.

A good slow progression that is well written to be immersive works. Sometimes good writing, flow of words and rhythm can be the hook.


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Johnmac1953
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Christine sums it all up for me, your story can be compelling enough so that we read on...an editor is unlikely to.
So who do you want to impress most?
Let your keyboard sing
Best Wishes
John Mc...

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dckafka
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If your intro is a progression into the hook, it still has to be interesting enough to hold the reader. Even moreso if it's a slow progression. You may not be shooting the sheriff in the first paragraph, but you still have to lead your reader down the garden path to where the deed will be done.

It all depends of what you have in mind. What DID you have in mind? Can you post a bit of it?


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Nyna
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I can't remember where I read this, but I think it can be true: sometimes really good writing is it's own hook.

Of course, I'll also add that in short stories I don't care how good your writing is, I'm not going to give you a lot of time to hook me. But short stories bore me, and I'm one of those people who won't write off a novel until I've read a hundred pages of it, though I may put it down time and time again. So take it with a grain of salt. (OT: What does that even mean? Take it with a grain of a salt?)


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thayerds
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A hook does not have to be closely aligned to the main plot if the story is not too short. Look at any number of books, and longer fiction. We get hooked into going to Bilbo's birthday party long before we find out that his little ring is the center piece of an epic.

On the other hand, something that generates real intrest in the characters of a story does need to be present in the first 13 lines. Humans are after all basically lazy, and really do try to avoid boredom even for tiny periods of time.


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Susannaj4
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That is true. I never could 'read' Tolkein. It drove me nuts.
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x__sockeh__x
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"That is true. I never could 'read' Tolkein. It drove me nuts."

Neither could I. For me, the openings just weren't...interesting. At all.
That being said, I liked the movies quite a bit.


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dckafka
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Note, though, that the LOTR movies each begin with a hook rather than following Tolkein's openings. For example, "Fellowship" opens with the Galadriel voice-over (Kate Blanchett, mmmmmm) giving the Ring backstory - a visually and verbally riveting bit of cinema' "Towers" opens with a recap of Gandalf's battle with the Balrog.
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wbriggs
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A hook can be as simple as very good writing; or humor; or attitude. Or it can be explosions and alien monsters. Anything that makes me want to read.
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Constipatron
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I recently read CJ Cherryh's "Hammerfall" and "Forge of Heaven". I liked the second better than the first but I read the first eventhough it wasn't something I normally read. It was a slow-paced book although the introduction of Marik was interesting enough to keep me reading through. I don't think either one would be too compelling to a lot of readers out there but I found them invigorating. I like books that are slow, fast and mildly between the two. It depends on the book and what the author is trying to say.
I CANNOT read Robert Jordan for this reason: the way he starts his books out is simply appalling to me; dry, unvarying from the last book and just too dang long! Of course, he's an established writer too...
I think Susannaj4, that the best bet is to just go with what feels right for the story-as I've recently been instructed to do-(and of course, whatever you feel the editor will go in for). Won't know until you just do it and submit it; that's where all of our stories really weather the storm, right? It's the editor that sinks it or sails it.

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Ted Galacci
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Of course you could start out with a screamingly blatant hint like "One week before the asteroid hit, John and Mary were arguing in the car."


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arriki
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The asteroid hit opening above -- works for me. It sets up an underlying tension that colors everything that happens. Like seeing the villain with a shot gun lurking about and then going inside the house to a domestic scene.

If the story doesn't pick up pretty quick, you'll lose me, at least. But this technique will get me to read past the 13 lines if they aren't too boring.


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Silver3
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Case in point: that opening doesn't work for me because it's too blatant. It tries too hard.
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MaryRobinette
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The asteroid hit example isn't like a villain lurking, because the villain is in the same time frame as the domestic scene.
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Ted Galacci
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Another possibility is to keep making reference to some mysterious character. That's how the first Sherlock Holmes story get's started. People keep telling Watson about this weirdo named Holms.
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arriki
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It's not that the asteroid opening isn't blatant, but the structure works. And it isn't because the asteroid isn't in the same time frame as the argument and the stalker and the domestic scene are.

The time gap is NOT the critical element in this kind of opening. It's the actual words, the content, how well the ideas are presented.

It all began last Tuesday -- is the same sort of opening. The "it" hints that something unusual and possibly interesting happened last Tuesday Or, one of my favorites of this broad type of opening -- from The Sleep Police by somebody, can't find the book right now opens "Things started going wrong the moment Frank laid eyes on the victim." Here the vague "things" is the tension raiser.


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Temuchin
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Whereas on the other hand, you have some of the worst openings. My personal favorite is "Rodney the carrot was an unhappy carrot."

It doesn't flop because it's absurd, or childish - it flops because it's a boring sentence, and instead of introducing the story, it could very well sum up the entire thing.

Compare that to something like "Rodney the carrot had two friends in his miserable life - beer and razors." The words are darker, there's an element of curiosity (what could make a carrot so depressed?), and it's just more interesting overall.


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MaryRobinette
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Introducing tension by starting with a flashback is dubious. "It all began last Tuesday" is a flashback. A man lurking with a gun outside a building or an odd object is part of immediate action. These are two different ways to begin a story.
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Christine
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Are you sure "It all began last Tuesday." is a flashback? To me it sounds like it's setting up a time frame...the story begins last Tuesday. I think a flashback would be if you went from the established time to say, the previous Friday. Such as...

"It all began last Tuesday. Sarah had been mad at me since I lost her St. Christopher metal over the weekend."

The week before the asteroid hit is an interesting one though. We've established two times...a time when an asteroid hits and a time one week prior to that, but the story starts in the latter time frame. It doesn't flash back from the next week, it never starts there. It merely tells us about the asteroid as if we (the readers) are in the future of that timeline.

The trouble with an opening like the asteroid one is that it gives the author a false sense of security; it tends to make them think they have me hooked (because of the asteroid) and then I'll stick with them for two pages of introduction. Nope. It'll get me through you first 13, more than likely, but shortly thereafter you'd better have some interesting conflict or development. I'll forget about the asteroid, especially since it hasn't technically happened yet.


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