posted
My husband thinks my action scenes are a bit sparse, and need to be beefed up a bit. I tend to think somewhat cinematically when I'm writing, and I have NO clue how to do a good action scene without it sounding cheezy or overdone.
Does anyone have any tips/tricks/hints? I could show you what I have, and what the mate has suggested, but I'm pretty clueless.
posted
I won't represent any actual skill, but I'd be happy to look at what you have and see if I can offer any useful critique.
Posts: 683 | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Thanks again KDW! FANTASTICO! I especially like something written in the second thread you listed. It makes sense to me, and I agree that puttin in action for the sake of action is probably going to be damaging to my story.
posted
I tell you what, I struggled with action scenes and think I've just started getting the hang of them so I'll tell you a few things I've learned. I sometimes think that people who are naturally good at things can't slow down enough to tell you what they do well, so maybe my perspective will help.
1. Short sentences and paragraphs move action along. 2. Proper setup helps keep readers interested and caring about the characters both physically and emotionally. 3. Baby step the scene...even if you go back and edit it later, the first time you write it think about every second of the movement and exactly what is happening. This helps with realism...if you're not sure it's realistic you can have someone else peruse the detailed scene and let you know (I use my husband who has martial arts training and is good at telling me how it should really be). 4. Proper setup (again), but this time I'm talking about making sure the hero has what he needs at the time of the fight. If your hero can fight with a sword, make sure you've mentioned this before. If he can hit a man in the eye from 100 yards then let us know he's a sharpshooter earlier in the story. All the groundwork for the skills and tools a hero needs should be planted in the story before the action scene for believability. I will occasionally forget one and have to write myself a note to plant it. 5. Avoid no deus ex machina, especially in the climax. 6. Add some twists and turns, get the hero in a tight spot and get him out again, but don't overdo this. I once read an action scene written by a friend of mine (no offense to my friend, I think you're usually great!) that went on for three rather long chapters and just kept going and going and going with new twists and escapes. Try to find some balance.
Those are just a few things I can think of off the top of my head.
posted
Yeah, I think the problem with action sequences in wrriting is, unlike film, they are counter-intuitive. The more "special effects" you describe, the more violence and carnage you show, the more slow your pace will have to be. And a slow paced action scene reads like a slow motion car chase, it's not terribly interesting. So it becomes a trick of minimal detail and short sentences and still communicate enough of what is going on. I haven't been able to do it well yet.
Posts: 2195 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
My problem is that this particular fight scene ends with the death of the hero, and the fighting involved would probably have little to no real skill. The fight is an all-out brawl between a blacksmith fighting to protect his wife, and a bunch of pirates. Mabye I should just post it here somewhere and get some feedback?
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posted
If nobody is skilled it'll be a very short fight. The blacksmith is going to swing a few times, and then he will die.
Posts: 2195 | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Mamma, you're killing your hero??? Who's the rest of the story going to be about, then?? I don't kill off my heroes - I keep them alive to write more books about them, LOL!
As for action scenes: short sentences; be sure whatever weapons are going to be used are available and that the fighters know how to use them (unless you plan on someone just being lucky with the use of that weapon); get out of your chair and walk around, acting out the scene, so you'll get the action right; don't let the hero get away unscathed (or with only minor injuries), that's just too unrealistic, IMO; get someone who has a clue about fighting to look it over for you - someone who's actually been in fights or has some kind of training. A guy who had a "scrappy" youth looked over one of my fight scenes and made a huge difference in it - and that scene had already been through THREE male readers and (counting on fingers here) three female readers. Not one of the other readers said the fight seemed unrealistic, but not one of them has ever BEEN in a fight. BIG difference!! I don't know that someone with martial arts training who's never actually fought would be as much help as someone who did some brawling in his past - or as much help as a soldier or veteran who's seen combat. Good luck with it!
posted
Lynda, I do karate and have been in a few brawls at pubs, which are quite actually Anyways, I know what it's like to fight with my bare hands, as we spar that way. I have done it for many years and have the experience to know what it's like to spar, what to use in certain situations and what not to do. I sometimes base my own bare handed fighting scenes on the ways I've sparred or fought in the brawls.
Fighting bouncers is fun, fighting for the sake of fighting is fun... I shouldn't really say that but it does help as a writer that I have experienced what it's like to feel being hit and then fighting back, now when it comes to massive fights with swords, spears, maces and armour I wouldn't have a clue, so I visualise what it'd look like if a spear went through a shield or pierced armour, or the way a mace dents armour or if the soldier or brawler is strong enough could actually crush a mans skull with the mace.
I can see all of it, and I can only imagine the amount of pain felt, but when it comes to fighting with bare hands I use my own experience.
By the way, if any one has any questions about what it's like, I won't hesitate to help, lol.
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I'm going to post the fight scene in question on the fragments and feedback section, because I think that is the most appropriate section for it. It will be under the title "Mary-Action Scene"
Please, read it, comment, and let me know if it's too little, or just right.
posted
I thought of so many ways to reply to this post... all of them naughty. Wife says I have to grow up. So consider yourselves spared.
Posts: 556 | Registered: Oct 2006
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Anyways, I know what it's like to fight with my bare hands, as we spar that way. I have done it for many years and have the experience to know what it's like to spar, what to use in certain situations and what not to do. I sometimes base my own bare handed fighting scenes on the ways I've sparred or fought in the brawls. 
