posted
We're told that editors dislike adverbs, but how far does this go? I spent yesterday looking through my WIP for adverbs, and eliminating some of them. But most are in speech, and people use adverbs. Is there any need to get rid of all of them?
Posts: 185 | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
Don't take my word for it, but I usually leave adverbs in speach. I think if we eliminated all adverbs in speach it would end up sounding artificial. Posts: 626 | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Well, for the last three or four finished works, I've gone through my stuff and tried to remove every word ending in "ly," nearly all of them adverbs. I thought the results read better---at the least, it forced me to consider how to phrase things in a more clear manner---but I agree that it makes speech look odd and awkward. I may just do the cutting, but leave some in, the next time around.
Not that it was without trouble. I found it hard to come up with a good substitute for "only," for example---using "but" made the sentence look pulpy and involved extending the words around it.
posted
Anything goes in dialogue. The narrator must be very careful in creating descriptions, but characters must only be true to themselves.
You might have a character whose speech uses a lot of adverbs, dangles prepositions, uses passive voice, etc. Those patterns are part of the character.
posted
I don't think you should get rid of all adverbs in dialogue or otherwise. Rather, judicious use of adverbs is called for. And as for dialogue, as previous posters said, the characters need to sound like themselves, adverbs, bad grammar, slang, and all.
Posts: 2185 | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
As I was told some years back: Don't load it up on adjectives and adverbs, but opt instead for descriptive action verbs.
The key is using stronger verbs and never using two words when one will do. I believe the classic example is, instead of "walked slowly", say, "strolled".
When it comes to adjectives and adverbs, rely on the reader's imagination to fill in details. Is an adverb or adjective pertinent? If not, cut it out.
quote: Is an adverb or adjective pertinent? If not, cut it out.
Exactly. Sometimes, but those times are few and far between, a sentece or image is totally changed by the elimination of an adverb. Don't change every adverb, just the ones which can be clearer expressed as a stronger verb.
Chris's example:
quote:I believe the classic example is, instead of "walked slowly", say, "strolled".
...has antirely different connotation if "walk slowly" is replaced by "crept" or "trudged". Neither image is of rapid movement, but strolled, crept and trudged produce disparate images, which can help foreshadow a scene, event or resonate with a mood.
What you say is also a good demonstration of "show, don't tell"; the choice of "strolled", "crept", or "trudged" not only eliminates the adverb "slowly", it also removes the need to tell the reader that the character is relaxed, cautious, or surly/reluctant.
posted
My rule of thumb comes from something I heard OSC say (and I am paraphrasing): if something can't prove it deserves to be in the story, you don't need it in there.
This applies to adverbs, adjectives, scenes, characters, descriptions, you name it.
Everything you put in a story should be necessary to make the story work. If the story still works without it, it isn't all that necessary and you should (not may, should) get rid of it (no matter how much you may love it--aka "killing your darlings").
posted
There seems little reason to expand "he walked" past that point...you can tell what went on while "he walked," but the rest seems unimportant...
For my last finished thing, I cut every "ly" adverb, along with a lot of rewriting to remove "have / has / had" and "was / were / whatever." Complicated reasons involving what kind of characters I was dealing with...for reasons that seem vague to me now, I wanted to make every verb as immediate as possible...never figured out whether it was the right thing to do or not. (It's up on my website right now, come to think of it.)
posted
I think there are two points of confusion in this thread. I'll address the first here.
RobertB, an adverbial clause is not an adverb. It is a clause that works like an adverb, but it doesn't read like an adverb. Typical fiction writers who advise against adverbs say nothing about adverbial clauses.
He smiled coyly. <- This is an adverb that modifies the verb smiled.
He smiled in that special way he had. <- This is an adverbial clause that modifies the verb smiled.
If you see the adverb above in your narrative you should eliminate it if possible. But if you see the adverbial clause above you should not worry about it.
[This message has been edited by Doc Brown (edited July 09, 2008).]
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Sometimes, but those times are few and far between, a sentece or image is totally changed by the elimination of an adverb. Don't change every adverb, just the ones which can be clearer expressed as a stronger verb.
