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Author Topic: POV and Names
JSchuler
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In my current work I'm writing from a very close 3rd person POV that alternates focal characters from chapter to chapter, with the character's personality or inner thoughts bleeding through without a "he thought" or "he felt" following on. For a bad example

quote:
Joe slammed his hand in the car door. Ow.
Anyway, one of the characters--Joe, I'll stick with Joe--has a nickname for another--Steve--and he is the only other person who uses it (no one else dares). Every time Joe says Steve's name in normal conversation it's always the nickname, not "Steve."

So, the question is, given the above POV, is it appropriate or confusing (or both) to refer to Steve by that nickname in narration while Joe is the POV character?

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extrinsic
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For Joe's speech and thought expressions the nickname could appeal, and if memorable. For narrator expression, either the narrator uses the nickname or the given name, best not both. The narrator using the given name and Joe using the nickname clearly signals whose expression.

Multiple viewpoint character narratives also best practice focus on one persona at a time, though the narrator is a degree overt regardless because the narrator is a persona, is the overall viewpoint, and from whom narrative point of view immediately originates, not to mention vicariously through implied and real writer decisions. The main agonist, also best practice, is whom the narrator most closely accesses viewpoint from perceptions, attitudes, emotional reactions, and thoughts.

Edited to add: A film camera metaphor illustrates narrative point of view and viewpoint. Visualize a human-analog sensory recorder; one recorder is a viewpoint, per a narrator and each character: a swarm's collected and dramatically edited and organized feed is a narrative point of view.

Recorder sensation options include visual, aural, tactile, olfactory, and gustatory, and thought and emotional feeling. They are default enabled or disabled based upon narrative point of view selection.

Other options include proprioceptive sensations, sensations internal to human senses, physical strain, pain, pleasure, breathable air, gravity, centripetal, and centrifugal forces, and self-awareness of body posture and appendage positions. Heat felt tactilely, for example, is an external or internal force that influences both cutaneous and subcutaneous receptors. Sideways forces from vehicle turns are felt centrifugal influences; and an intervening object that prevents spilling out of a turning vehicle is a tactilely and propioceptively felt centripetal force.

One or more of these human-analog machines may observe a scene as an invisible, covert, or overt bystander or externally receive reflections from characters internal to the scene. Two or three recorders maximum per scene is a best practice guidance. More than three is difficult for readers to receive. One is prone to unvarying blandness.

Relative position of the human-analog cameras is also a consideration. Inside a character's mind tapping sensory brain matter and muscle. Externally mounted on a forehead. On a shoulder. Behind and off to the side. In a fixed location that observes the scene from a place on a "fourth wall." Several camera angles that cross the scene as though a machine gun defilade and enfilade.

Height and width position too. From above, below, an anterior or posterior side. Far or near, wide-angle, panorama, landscape, portrait, foreshortened, close-up, macro-close. The default of writers prior to film's invention was whatever the eye height of an observer was, lying, kneeling, sitting, offhand, or standing, predominately, and at whatever scene location height and monocular field of view the observer's eye was.

Film has more or less set the prose default height to that of a film camera person's eyes. Because film camera equipment is bulky and heavy, tall, strong, burly camera people are needed, whose eye height more or less standardized to about six feet and, consequently, actor-subjects of that or higher height. Early film had not realized those factors and actor-subjects of shorter heights came across as child-like. Bit of unintended bias there, now selected for consciously by filmmakers and accepted non-consciously by viewers. Consider views from lower heights, ankle, knee, and waist and higher. And obliques, too.

Use of a film camera metaphor can develop striking viewpoint perspectives and enrich a narrative, based upon a human-analog sensory recorder.

[ April 17, 2015, 01:00 AM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]

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Robert Nowall
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I don't see why not, provided the reader can distinguish from the text that it is internal dialog, i. e. the guy's thoughts.
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Grumpy old guy
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I see absolutely nothing wrong with it providing the reader knows who's who at the outset. Perhaps a comment in Joe's POV along the lines of:

And then there's 'Chuckles'; Steve to everyone else, but to me he'll always be Chuckles.

I tend to write with a sliding distance, 3rd person POV, choosing, in the main, limited omniscient. The narrative distance you are using at the moment is one I keep for conflict: either emotional or physical. It's a great POV for battle scenes; nothing like it for helping the reader experience the frantic action and terror.

However, as extrinstic says, you can't just jump from one head to another willy-nilly. When writing a scene, I choose the most appropriate viewpoint character, one who'll give me the most interesting chnaces to explore plot, conflict, and character, then I stick with it until the scene ends.

Phil.

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LDWriter2
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Thought I would put in a few comments.

First in the example you, JS, use. I think the "Ow" is obviously the character's thoughts. But sometimes it's notes easy to tell. You might do something like italicize the inner dialogue.

As to the nickname, extrinsic usually gives sound advice but at the same time I was trying to recall if I had read any published writers do what you want to do: one character using a different name for someone than the other characters. I can't recall any names but I have read books where one character calls someone Mr. So and so while others called the same person by their first name. That may not be the same thing though.

Seems like I have read tales that did what you want done, even though I can't recall any specific ones at the moment. But the nickname used was probably an obvious nickname instead of another proper name.

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JSchuler
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Some good things here for me to look out for when I go over a second pass.

POV shifting shouldn't be a problem: the focus is constant throughout a chapter, and I think I do a good job establishing the chapter's POV within the first paragraph.

As an added complication: the nickname is not, by itself, an obvious nickname, and it switches the character's gender (or more accurately neuters it). It's not simply a case of calling Steve "Chuckles," an obvious nickname, but "Christie."

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MattLeo
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I just finished James S.A. Covey's "Leviathan Wakes" which has precisely the alternating structure you are talking about. Chapters are alternately told from the POV of Holden, an experienced but naively idealistic merchant spacefaring officer, and Miller, a tight-lipped, cynical detective.

In conception, this arrangement is brilliant. Each character has a relatable position toward events, and each position is diametrically opposed. The place I think where it fell down is narration. Being inside Miller's head should feel different from being inside Holden's, but somehow it doesn't; there's a serviceable but flat sameness to the alternating chapters. Not coincidentally the novel's dialog is, not bad, but merely serviceable. Just as the exterior dialog fails to do much to distinguish characters, the interior monolog fails to draw us into the POV character's head.

So in principle I endorse the idea varying the narrative voice between 3rd person limited POVs, picking up on the verbal cues of the POV character's dialog. If he talks in short sentences, articulate the narration the same way. If he uses erudite words, use them in the narration too. That helps us feel like we're in the characters' head.

The only proviso is that the reader shouldn't notice the operation of the man behind the curtain (you). As long as the narration seems natural to readers you're fine. If reader consciousness of you pulling their strings interferes, use a lighter touch. For example if a POV character speaks very ungrammatically, you might want to moderate that in the narration so the chapter doesn't sound like incomprehensible mush.

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WB
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OSC's take on this question: http://www.hatrack.com/writingclass/lessons/2004-09-28-1.shtml
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