*Latest version 7 replies below*

Anna spent the best summer of her life working in a small café on Kauai, rebuilding her sense of self at the end of an abusive relationship. When she returns to the island five years later to visit her old friends, she is now orphaned, alone, and eager for a sense of belonging.
She quickly learns, however, that belonging will mean letting go of her understanding of life, death, forgiveness, and even the laws of nature. And it may also mean standing between her friends and a man determined to fulfill a centuries-old oath: to kill Juan Ponce de Leon, the man she previously knew as Johnny, the depressed dishwasher/artist from the café. As Johnny's would-be assassin draws near, Anna becomes more involved than she had intended, finding her place in a reality she never knew existed.
Navigating new territory, Anna must also come to accept the truth about others she knew—or thought she knew—that summer. Levi, her favorite customer and the man who reminds her of what being wanted feels like, has a rich complicated history of his own. He was healed, albeit it too well, by Jesus in 30 A.D. And Harold, the schizophrenic janitor, is the legendary Prester John who, although he brought these men together, has since left the island to escape unseen and possibly imaginary enemies.
As 2000 years' worth of stories unfold, these road-weary companions become each other's confidantes, confessors, and saviors. They discover that the immortality they sought means much less than the moments of grace they are given, particularly by the hands of a friend.

The storyline goes back and forth between early A.D., the 1500s, and today and is historical in that respect. But the fountain of youth issue makes it fantasy. And although the theme is redemption and forgiveness, it really isn't Christian fiction at all in that the characters who find grace find it through each other, not God.

The problem with this isn't the classification, it's the organization. Each paragraph confused me more:

quote:

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Anna spent the best summer of her life working in a small café on Kauai, rebuilding her sense of self at the [end of an abusive relationship.<--This leads me to blieve she's an adult.] When she returns to the island five years later to visit her old friends, [she is now orphaned<--This leads me to believe that she's not.], alone, and eager for a sense of belonging.
She quickly learns, however, that belonging will mean letting go of her understanding of life, death, forgiveness, and even the laws of nature. And it may also mean standing between her friends and a man determined to fulfill a centuries-old oath: to kill Juan Ponce de Leon, the man she previously knew as Johnny, the depressed dishwasher/artist from the café. As Johnny's would-be assassin[<--This idea is suddenly sprung on me[/b]] draws near, Anna becomes more involved than she had intended, finding her place in a reality she never knew existed.
Navigating new territory, Anna must also come to accept the truth about others she knew—or thought she knew—that summer. Levi, her favorite customer and the man who reminds her of what being wanted feels like, has a rich complicated history of his own. He was healed, albeit it too well, by Jesus in 30 A.D. And Harold, the schizophrenic janitor, is the legendary Prester John who, although he brought these men together, has since left the island to escape unseen and possibly imaginary enemies.
As 2000 years' worth of stories unfold, these road-weary companions become each other's confidantes, confessors, and saviors. They discover that the immortality they sought means much less than the moments of grace they are given, particularly by the hands of a friend.

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My version:

I posted other versions of this query elsewhere, not making Anna the focus of it. She's one of the four primary characters but the bulk of the action/conflict is between the other three. She is more or less someone who gets caught up in the events and is definitely affected by them, but she has only minimal impact on what happens. But the story needs her to tie all of them together. Perhaps I need to start over and make one of the others the focus again, see if I can be less confusing that way.

I do like your rewrite, although it lets me know just how misleading I was. She's from the mainland and worked on Kauai only for a summer. She goes back to visit her friends there after her father dies, leaving her alone. It's then that she realizes all these people she thought she knew five years ago aren't who she thought they were at all. Then she gets caught up in their drama and is forced to reevaluate her own life.

It seemed like such a simple concept when I began it and as I wrote it. Then I try explaining it...

Thanks again!

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After her abusive boyfriend leaves her and her father dies and her stepmother remarries, Anna Watrous does the only thing that makes sense to her. She returns to a small cafe in Kauai where she worked five years ago.

Instead of finding the same feelings of peace and belonging she felt then, however, she finds none of her friends are who they said they were. When a 500-year-old assassin hunts down Johnny the dishwasher, she discovers he is really Ponce de Leon. The janitor is the legendary Prester John, and her favorite customer is a man Jesus healed in 30 A.D. Either everyone she cares about is crazy or she is. Or they have discovered the secrets to immortality.

quote:

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After her abusive boyfriend leaves her and her father dies and her stepmother remarries, Anna Watrous does the only thing that makes sense to her. She returns to a small cafe in Kauai where she worked five years ago.

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Maybe:
Anna Watrous just got out of an abusive relationship when her father died. She needed a change, so she returned to a small cafe in Kauai where she worked five years ago.

quote:

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After her abusive boyfriend leaves her and her father dies and her stepmother remarries, Anna Watrous does the only thing that makes sense to her. She returns to a small cafe in Kauai where she worked five years ago.

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My try:

With her life in shambles, Anna Watrous returned to the small cafe where she worked five years earlier to recapture her sense of belonging.

You've dropped a line I really liked if you delete "quickly"- "She quickly learns, however, that belonging will mean letting go of her understanding of life, death, forgiveness, and even the laws of nature. "

You might want to work that back in.

Since she's the glue that holds the story together, I suspect that she's the person you want to focus on for the query. Your MC can be more "passive" than the other players.

Also - Either/or is not a three part test.

I've been reworking this all weekend. So here's what I hope is at least close to the final.

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Her life in shambles, Anna Watrous returns to a small Kauai cafe to revisit fonder memories than her recent past can offer. Although eager for the sense of belonging she felt there fives years earlier, she finds none of her friends are who they said they were.

When Johnny the dishwasher tells her a 500-year-old assassin is hunting him down, the truth comes out. Johnny is really Ponce de Leon, and the man looking to kill him is his oldest friend in the world. Although at one time united to save the Native Americans of the Southeast, Nando and Johnny parted centuries ago after the brutal massacre of their Calusa families. Haunted by his brother's ghost, Nando is driven to protect the Fountain of Youth at all costs, even his own life. As other historical figures begin to emerge, Anna realizes that either everyone she cares about is crazy or she is. Because the only other option is that they have all discovered the secrets to immortality.

Anna learns, however, that belonging will mean letting go of her understanding of the laws of nature—and of life, death, and forgiveness. Believing her friends' stories is then the easy part. Finding a meaningful future for herself—and sticking around long enough to live it—will be the hard part.